feeling guilty about small family

[Feliena]

im an only child - ive had a very happy life and never felt like id missed out until i was about 20 when i thought about how lovley it would be to have a brother or sister.

im now 26 and have 6 month old, i feel so guilty my whole family consists of my husband, my son, mum dad, nan, gramps and one uncle thats 7 people in my entire family, no cousins, no aunties. i have now convinced myself that i need to have at least 2 more children. but i cant even comprehend having anymore due to the fact of a very difficult pregnancy and terrible birth and i am happy with the one ive got

i think im just being stupid but i worry if i stop at one child that they will have no one, my nan and gramps are really getting on - what if my son never marries and when i die he has no one??? has anyone else ever worried about this?

Much family on your DH's side?

I can totally understand your anxiety - I really can - but try to put things into perspective.

I have so many cousins I quite literally have lost count of them all and I don't see any of them except one who only phones/wants to see me when he needs or wants something from me.
I don't see any of my aunts or uncles either.
And I have friends who don't speak to their siblings.

It's only 6 months since the birth and you may well feel differently in a year/couple of years or so. I didn't get broody until my DC1 was about 1.5 / 2 years old and I think this is quite common. Several of my friends were saying after 1 year that they could never go through it again but they have .

I've read threads from MNers who've had terrible birth experiences like you, have been terrified of becoming pregnant, but had much better pregnancy and birth experiences second time around.

Loads of one child families out there are lone parents - at least your DS has both parents around him all the time.

HTH but I know it probably won't!

My mum died when my sibs and I were all under 18, our aunties were useless. Lots of cousins and have contact with none of them. Am one of four and we are not close. Get the picture? DD is an only and I hope to give her a very happy upbringing, instill in her self-esteem and hope she finds a lovely husband and makes some close friends. Don't feel guilty for not having a large family, quality is more important than quantity and blood is not thicker than water.

I can't add much to what's already been said. Please don't romanticise the notion of siblings or overestimate how much support or companionship they provide in adulthood. Most of all, don't equate not being married with being all alone in the world. Even if your son chooses not to marry (and it really is far too soon to be harbouring such thoughts) he will have friends and people who are close to him - and part of being a parent is trying to ensure that he is happy and confident and able to form friendships.