Angry as only one DS due to DSC but now there not on the scene!

[dontdillydally]

MY DH has 2 dd from frist marriage.

We had our DS 6 years ago and I always probably knew we wouldnt have anymore as 2 lots of maintenance and "didnt want the DSD to feel left out" well that's the way it was always perceived.

Now they are teens and wnt w-ends with their friends which is fair enough, they are not very interested in our DS anymore etc.. My DH has now come to accept this.

I feel very bitter and quite angry - as I know without a doubt if this had been the case early on we would definately have had another.

PS Im 43 and DH is alot older so imo too old for another!

Are you absolutely sure of that? A friend of mine was in an almost identical situation, except that her partner simply thought that three children were enough for him and he didn't want to do any more parenting. So, for him, it was as much about the parenting he'd already done as the parenting still to come. Is that also behind some of your dh's thinking?

I'm sorry you're feeling angry and bitter. Come and have a coffee and a Chelsea bun in the tea room tomorrow.

I know that we have always "pampered around" them so as not to leave them left out...guilt I think on DH's part for perhaps leaving the family home etc...

Just makes me feel sad also doesnt help that he has just had a vasectomery...perhaps Im grieving for what will never be

I think many women grieve when they know that there will be no more babies, whether they already have one, nine, or some number in between. I know if sounds rather glib, but try to focus on all the good things you do have - especially your lovely boy.

Please drop into the tea room whenever you feel like a chat.

dontdillydally - on the positive side, they have found friends and pastimes to keep them occupied at weekends. I wish DSSs were interested at all in the outside world beyond the confines of our 4 walls some weekends!

Please don't feel . Just think of all the extra time and attention you'll both be able to pay DS now

I agree you can really focus on DS now, which is a good thing.

I also agree than women do grieve for the children they can't have and getting that bit older naturally brings on those feelings anyway. End of an era and all that.

I do understand how you feel. DP has 4 kids and has had a vasectomy, I only have 1 DS. I do wonder if I will come to regret being with him as deep down I really do crave a family of my "own". I'm ashamed to say that and haven't told anyone in RL.