Is it unusual that ds has never had an invite to someones house

[timby]

What I mean is without me inviting their dc first.
I have spent the last how many years asking his classmates over on playdates he is 9 now and although he has had the odd invite back its always been very few and far between and nobody has ever made any effort to keep a relationship going except me.
Is this unusual or are we the only ones. I know that if I had not made all this effort then ds would never have had a single invite to anyones house does this mean ds doesn,t have any true friends and that the people I am inviting are not that fussed about having him as a friend but come along on an invite to ours anyway or am I reading into this too much.
I have always tried to tell myself that it don,t matter if he doesn,t get invites as long as I keep inviting them to ours but I know that ds has noticed this now and he has got upset before now about it.
Its very frustrating espcially during holidays I am constantly checking my phone to see if anyones has been in touch with us but I seem to do all the running and I am starting to feel like a stalker a nuisance to these other parents in my efforts to give my ds somebody to play with.

May I suggest that it might be easier for him to develop out of school relationships with people who he sees out of school (ie is there a sport or club where he might meet people who might be more inclined to do things socially).

I think some larger families perhaps are just too plain busy with all the kids to do inviting. There's no room or they are intimidated if your house is tidy and theirs is a shitheap etc.

Don't be offended, I would think they appreciate your invites and wish they could return it.

One of my DD's friends was invited every few weeks but never invited back - eventually her mum admitted she was really embarrassed because their house is small and needs decorating. As if DD would notice (or me for that matter). There can be reasons for reluctance to invite and it may have nothing to do with your son. :)

Yes I have thought that may be the way forward he is in a football team that gets him out twice a week.
I know other parents are busy with other siblings etc but I even get this with parenst of onlies.
Perhaps I worry too much about him being on his own and it doesn,t bother other parenst of onlies or perhaps their dc have other friends in the family etc I don,t know I have always struggled to understand it.

Hardly anyone invites anyone home in my dd's class. over the years I've realised that this has a lot to do with the backgrounds of the families - Some of the children are 'looked after' by older siblings after school, other have parents who work and inviting other children home simply doesn't happen in the way that it does in other classes in the same school.

However as they have got older, groups from within the class have arranged to meet outside school - for example at the park or swimming pool and when this has happened my dd has really enjoyed it. Maybe you could encourage your dc to do this?