So what do you do on holidays?

[ClapTrap]

I always remember fun family holidays, my little sister and I having all sorts of madcap adventures. We always had one another to entertain, explore new surroundings and play wing-man when sizing up new playmates.

I am worried about what family holidays will be like with our only DD. Who will she have her madcap adventures with? We would always want to play with her, but surely she will reach an age when it will be a little uncool to be breezing through the soft-play with your parents tagging along behind?

We do have a break with my sister's family once a year. They have a DD who is a similar age. But they will not always want to go away with us.

What do other families do, is it really an issue?

Well you can do the kids' club thing which my DD loves. Instant playmates.

But if that's not for you, I've found that DD tends to make friends round the pool in any case.

We also tend to do weekends away with friends with similar aged children.

It's not been a problem so far for us but then we have planned holidays where she can meet other kids.

So far we've been choosing holidays where there will be other children of the same age around. We will continue doing that to make sure he doesn't get bored with us

I know what you mean, but I do think that often only children can be better at being proactive to make friends, as they don't have the fallback of a sibling to play with

We do a mix of kid's club places - campsites mainly, or choose hotels where there are other kids. DD usually makes a friend or 2.

I have said to her, when she is older we may well ask if a schoolfriend would like to come. Only extra cost would be food really.

I think it's only an issue if you want it to be.

We have never had a problem. We often go away with family/friends and the kids always meet and make new friends anyway.

It's totally natural and healthy that children will always want to make new friends and a bit insular if they only stay welded to their siblings. It makes it more exciting to meet new people.

Give kids a swimming pool and leave them to get on with it and they'll always make friends. We've fond we've never needed to instigate or engineer anything and it always just happens naturally and easily and before you know it there's a whole crowd of them - the older the kids get, the easier it gets too.

I do think it might not be so easy if you're the types who want to holiday in a farmhouse in some remote Tuscan village or in a ski lodge at the top of a Pyrenean mountain with only the local livestock for company though!

We always go somewhere where there is a bit of something going on and other human beings.

It's never an issue for us (although I had wondered whether it would be). Our daughter always finds friends on holiday but is equally happy to read her way repeatedly though the Harry Potter series.

Don't romanticise the joys of playing with siblings - much as I love my brother, the difference in our ages and interests meant that we certainly did not have madcap adventures together during the holidays!

Thanks for all your thoughts. It's good to know that it isn't a big issue. I do wonder how social DD will be as she is very introvert currently, she is only 2.7 though, so there is time to grow out of that.
You're right, asmallbunchofflowers, about not romanticising too much. My sister and are only 10 months apart and have always been close (some mega fights too ;) ) but even if we changed our minds and had #2, the age gap would be at least 3.5 years, which may make playing together more of an issue.

Oh at 2.7 mum and dad still rule . This is the awkward stage as I recall. They stop napping (allowing you a bit of quiet lounging time) and they are too young for most kid's clubs. Though Pierre et Vacances have sites where they take them at that age.... as do the mega expensive Mark Warner type holidays....

We just go away, the three of us. We have great fun, I don't think DD misses not having a friend there and in fact when given the choice recently of including a friend in an outing, because DH and I thought she might enjoy it more with a friend, she refused and said that she likes it being the three of us.
We have never out her into holiday clubs, no reason other than we like her company and feel she spends enough time away from us due to school, work etc.

We have one 8y DD/

We often go on holiday with other people my parents or PILs for example, so there are lots of people to entertain DD. Or we go with friends with children - DD loves this, so when it involves her best friend (Katz's DD1). And we sometimes go alone.

We chose holidays that has something for us all. DD isn's into beach holidays - not keen on sand, which suits me and DH fine. So we will be out and about visiting places, but stop for loads of snacks and drinks, do lots of interactive stuff, find parks and roundabouts or funfairs, go on the open top buses, etc.

We also tend to do a Florida Disney holiday every couple of yers - no extra entertainment needed :)

BTW we never do Kid's Clubs.

I meant put her into holiday clubs, not out

fwiw, Typos make the word go round.

Yes, I should have said that dd finds friends without ever having been to a kid's club. Every year we think for a nanosecond about whether we ought to go somewhere that has a kid's club but always opt in the end for going it alone with a gite or similar. But we do tend to go for beach holidays, so she often finds playmates on the trampolines or whatever.

You're right, holidays aren't a problem as yet. DD loves our company and she is delight to be with. I was thinking of when she got to 8 or 9 and wanted to play with peers. However, Hulababy, you have put my mind at ease, it's good to know your DD still enjoys spending time with you.

My DD is 11yrs, almost 12yrs. You will continue to enjoy DD's company, just as we do!

We aren't big on holidays as we have lots of family & friends several hours travel away, so generally use our holiday time visiting them.

With 'proper holidays' I guess it depends on the sort of holiday you like. Both DH & I get twitchy with nothing to do, so if we do go away other than visiting friends, we just pick an activity that we will all enjoy - we are going on a FSC fossil hunting holiday next summer.

But as an only child I remember wonderful holidays with my parents - invariably 2 weeks in north Wales - beach when it was sunny (and there are always loads of children to play with on beaches), castles/forests/walks/whatever when it wasn't.

In fact even when I was 18 after finishing my A levels & was going travelling on my own I still wanted to go on holiday with my parents, we had a wonderful last family holiday together before I went to uni which I still have happy memories of (wild extravagance - we went to the Isle of Wight instead!).

Thus far ( ds is now 4.8) we have

Camped and cycle toured.
Stayed with friends and relations, boy mucks in with their kids or enjoys grandparent attention.
Been to big cycle events, where boy quickly finds other kids to play with.
Done days out ( couldn't justify going away for a week this summer). Who needs someone to play with when you are in the surf with dad, or ice skating , or at lego land.
Been away self catering with wider family.

It's always taken as a given that children always want/need other children to keep them amused.

That is often very true but it's not always the case. My DS is very happy and content to do stuff on his own with us.

My sister, who has two children, also tries her best to do things on her own with each of her children separately too, which they love.

Children need a good mix of the company of other kids and time with their parents too.

Too much of either is not good IMHO.

As an only child growing up in the 70s I don't think kid's clubs even existed then. My parents took me on holidays to cities, and to the countryside, all over the place and I either made friends with other kids or, if they weren't around, I simply played by myself, played with my parents and just got on with it. I was very flexible because I was used to being with other children (at nursery and school) and used to be on my own (at home). I remember all my holidays being fantastic - whether with kids or just with mum and dad.

Don't worry. Your child will adjust and enjoy herself.

Forgot to add: I loved going on holiday with my parents, even as a teenager. I am 40 now with my own family but I still enjoy my parents' company :-)

We usually pick family friendly all inclusive hotels, and every year since DD was 4 she has made a friend on the first day, and hung out with them all week!

DD now 9.7 adores other children. She doesn't seem to have a problem making friends. She simply stands beside them and the language of children takes over.

We've done all sorts of things - when DD was little mostly Cornwall (DH is ace castle and dam constructor, I'm the rockpooler, we all got to love bodyboarding as DD got bigger). Often would end up with loads of kids participating in mega stream diversion/damming!

I don't think being an only matters at all when they are young so long as the parents retain enough 'inner child' (and will let it out on hols )

Or 'cultural' - Hadrians wall, York, those sorts of places. When DD was 10 Pompeii - brilliant.

This year, for the first time somewhere with a kids club - Neilson 'Hot Shots' sailing and windsurfing. We're already rebooked for next year.

The advantage of having just one is that you can do the things which suit that child at a particular age.