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One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

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Original poster

Oh,, he'll be so bored and lonely in the holidays....

20 replies

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 22/07/2010 22:35

The poor thing" said his schoolmates mum (who has 6)

well, actually he wont. our calender is full. he has friends coming for lunch, we have day trips planned, we will be busy pretty much every day. he will be no lonelier in the next 6w than he is every other day. and he isnt lonely. he may want a baby brother or sister, but thats mainly because all his friends have siblings.

arrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!

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midnightexpress · 22/07/2010 22:39

Oh don't worry - she's probably quaking in her boots at the thought of having all 6 of hers home and secretly thinking how delicious it would be to have just one for the whole hols. I know someone like that and she is immensely annoying.

Original poster

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 22/07/2010 22:41

lol i have invited her ds to our house to play too. i dont know how she does it. i feel guilty about ds being an only quite a lot of the time, but im not worried about the holidays, he will love them!

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JimmyTarbuck · 22/07/2010 22:43

She sounds like ten types of twat to me.

Original poster

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 22/07/2010 22:54

lol, she's actually v nice, just engages mouth before brain.

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JimmyTarbuck · 23/07/2010 14:34

Yeah, forgive my overreaction yesterday. I was in a bad mood. I only have 1 DD but am concerned about how I am gonna cope with DH home all summer (he's a teacher).

wahwahwah · 23/07/2010 14:37

Cheeky moo!

irises · 23/07/2010 14:39

Are you off work for the whole of the school holidys, LGK?

CarGirl · 23/07/2010 14:41

As I mum of 4, but had an only for 5.5 years, once you have a brood you don't tend to bother lots of playdates for the summer because they have each other to argue play with.

However when you have a only you do arrange all that stuff in advance!

She's def put her mouth into action before her brain.

Have a lovely 6 weeks enjoy all the trips/visits/friends over and those lovely peaceful evenings and mornings with just your only

CuppaTeaJanice · 23/07/2010 14:47

People forget that us only children are generally much better at entertaining ourselves.

ExitPursuedByABear · 23/07/2010 14:52

I used to worry about my DD being an only child, and my complete failure to live on an 'estate' where she would have people to play with. I even persuaded DH to get a dog, but the dog studiously ignores DD much preferring to challenge her for my attention . Apart from the fact that I think she watches too much tv during the hols, she is brilliant at entertaining herself.

Original poster

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 23/07/2010 15:23

I have exchanged numbers with all the mums and already organised a few things, im actually really looking forward to the holidays! I have just had to give up work so it'll be me and ds. cant wait

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Bobbalina · 23/07/2010 15:37

I have a 10 year old only dd
we both love the school hols
she has never wanted a sibling, likes to play with friends but also enjoys time to herself. There is no bickering or fighting in her life which is a refreshing change from my childhood!

GenevieveHawkings · 24/07/2010 01:33

It has always been my experience that people with onlines actually make far more effort to ensure that their children are entertained, amused and occupied in the school holidays than people who have a hoard of kids.

My DS has loads planned this holiday, just as he always does - sports camp/activity days, days with friends/grandparents, cousins coming to stay, a holiday abroad with us and friends, not to mention other days out we have planned. When he's not doing anything he'll be able to relax and chill out at home and enjoy peace and quiet doing just as he pleases without anyone bothering him and also be able to enjoy having our undivided attention too.

Families with 6 kids probably won't move off the spot for the entire holidays because unless they're minted they won't be able to afford to do anything else!

They'll take the usual lazy approach of letting the kids play together and amuse themselves/fight/squabble whilst ignoring them and then trying to justify it in their minds by saying it's lovely that they have the enriching experience of having so many siblings.

I wouldn't swap places with that woman with 6 kids for a million quid.

DontCallMeBaby · 24/07/2010 11:05

"Yeah, you're right. So, are you going to have him every Monday, or every Friday? One extra isn't going to make much difference, is it, with six already?"

Bobbalina · 24/07/2010 11:32

Maybe she was looking for an invite for one of her brood to hang out at yours?

huffythethreadslayer · 24/07/2010 11:50

My dd is an only and she has organised her dad and I for the 6 week break most competently. We currently have 14 'empty' days. 3 are going to be pyjama days, we need to slot in 6 swimming days and there's a few cinema trips to fit in. The rest of the holidays is booked up with trips out, an activity week with her friends, a week away and local bits and bobs she wants to do.

I never dread the 6 weeks. DD NEVER gets bored. She would love a younger sibling, but I couldn't have more kids, so she has adapted. And when she has younger relatives over for a visit, she's great with them for a day or so, but then they wake her up early or they interfere with her lazy morning ritual and she realises that actually, she's better off on her own

I suspect the mum in question didn't engage her brain before she put her mouth into gear. I have a friend like this...she's lovely in lots of ways, but there are times I could quite happily smack her in the gob as she preaches from the pulpit of multiparenthood. She has 4 and has very strong views about larger families. I know she pities my daughter, but I take a big breath and try to ignore it, most days.

Have a great holiday with your lovely child. You know you'll have fun. What anyone else thinks really doesn't matter.

GenevieveHawkings · 24/07/2010 13:22

I actually feel quite sorry for the kids along the road from me.

Evey weekend all their parents seem to do is stick them out in the garden "to play".

The girl is 7 and the boy is 4 (just about to start school in September) and they have a little baby brother of about 13 months too who is constantly whingeing and howling.

I suppose it's quite nice for the 4 year old who has a stimulating older sibling to play with but for the little girl, what stimulation does she get being forced to constantly nursemaid her little brothers while their mother studiously ignores them? She doesn't feels she should feel guilty about it I suppose because "they've got one another to play with".

When I was hanging my washing out this morning I heard the little girl call through to her mother from the garden "Mum, where are we going today?" to which her mother shouted back "nowhere".

Another day - and possibly six weeks solid - in the garden stretch ahead of her then? Life with siblings seems huge fun there I must say!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 24/07/2010 14:04

Hmmm. I know a few families of more than one who seem to do far more, as their lives seem more child oriented, iyswim. I sometimes think that ds, being in the minority, has to fit in with mine and dp's plans a little too often.

And I do think he gets a bit bored and lonely in the holidays. Having said that, he could have an army of siblings and still feel lonely and bored.

I'm not beating myself up about it though. He has plenty of friends and plays easily with dozens of other dcs at holiday club.

GenevieveHawkings · 24/07/2010 21:37

Hmmm, I think how child-orientated you are depends on the person, not on how many children you have.

Our lives seem to be very child-orientated simply because we have a child and life seems to revolve around him for the most part. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that between being fully immersed in our DS's life and going to work there doesn't seem to be an awful lot of time for adult pursuits around there!

We keep telling ourselves that our time will come but for now at least, we are totally at his disposal! We very much see it as we're parents and that's our job. There will be plenty of time to come in the not too distant future when our roles as parents change and our DS will need us less, and in diferent ways too.

Original poster

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 24/07/2010 22:40

im with genieve, ds has most of our attention. we had a lovely day today, we went to a one day festival thing today and watched a re-enactment of a battle between the vikings and saxons. it was lovely and v stress-free, wewent where ds wanted to go and it only cost us the price of one hot dog

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