Has anyone stopped at one due to SPD in first pregnancy?

[ilovemyoboe]

I've still got the SPD now (DS is 14 months) and am terrified that if I get pregnant again I'll end up not being able to walk . I've always wanted 2 children and don't want my little boy to be lonely, but I don't know if it's worth the risk. I keep thinking what if I end up with this permanently? I'm only now able to walk at a decent pace and can't manage anything like the distances I used to. Am usually in some pain by the end of the day, although it's not too bad unless I've tried to do something silly like run! Have to be very careful to keep my knees together .

So, would really love to hear from anyone else who has had this or a similar dilemma. Have been agonising over it since my little boy was tiny, and it's really getting me down. My husband is happy with one; I think he would agree to another, but for the concerns about my health. (Also had some PND first time round and I don't think he wants to repeat that either!)

hi there,

I'm afraid I don't have an experience of spd but didnt want to leave this unanswered.

From the litle I do know of it, it something that with the right help and therapeutic support, you can prepare your body for the next pregnancy. You may already know of this site www.pelvicpartnership.org.uk/pgp-longterm/pgp-longterm.html but if not, I hope it helps.

As for having one child, please take a good look throughout this board, you'll find plenty of support and lovely stories that debunk the myth of 'only' children. Please don't worry about your ds, a mummy that is as well as she can be and able to do things with their little one IMO is the best outcome a child could have. Your ds will not be lonely and in my experience, this is a projection of everyone else's opinion but not necessarily what is experienced by the child themselves. You'll find plenty of stories of those with siblings who were lonely too.

Guilt isn't helpful for anyone, most of all you so please don't beat yourself up over this. My mum was virtually immobile throughout my childhood and regularly suffers bouts of depression and believe me, it's not easy (and I'm one of four and felt v lonely indeed).

Hi Mindy,

Thanks for your reply :-)

I'll check out that website. I have had a brief look at it before but not sure if I've checked out that page.

I've got some physio starting in a couple of weeks, starting with an assessment, so will see what they say.

I must admit, atm I'm leaning towards what you said about a mummy being as well as she can be being best for my child. Am really bothered that I won't be able to run around and play footie with my ds. (OK, I know he'll not want to play footie with mummy once he gets older, but when he's little he will.)

Sorry to hear you didn't have a good experience. My Mum suffered from bad PND and then both my Mum and sister suffered from depression after my Dad died when I was 15, so know living with family with depression is not much fun. My sister and I don't get on, so know what you mean about feeling lonely with a sibling too; she was a real loner, a bit odd tbh, and I always wished for another 'normal' sibling! Still do in fact!