How young is too young?

[Tattyhead78]

Is there any general opinion / advice out there on what age, if any, is too young to put a child in a nursery/daycare? Do any of you know or have any experience of starting with a temporary nanny (if there is such a thing) and moving your child to a nursery afterwards, or would that be a terrible idea? To be honest, I am completely clueless about all this.

There is stacks and stacks of opinion on whether dayvare is good or bad for a child. Some research says the children who go can be more aggressive and show higher levels of a stress hormone, other research says that children who go to daycare are more social and can cope well with transition to school. It's a nightmare deciding what to do. Other research shows that the quality of the care that is the most important factor.

In my own experience, my DS went to daycare when he was nine months old. All was fine, and I believe he is happy there, he is now 2.6.

The most important thing is to do your homework - go and visit, more than once, look at different settings, speak to the staff, observe them interacting with the children, ask about routines, what happens when a child is hurt or upset. What happens if they are sick, when are they open from and to, how many days are they closed. Use somewhere you are comfortable with.

If you are based in England (I'm in NI) I think the daycare trust may have information for parents on what to look for or you can get some at early-years.org (although they are based in NI it's the same principle)

HTH

Thanks for the advice, that's really useful, I will look at the Daycare Trust. TBH, was thinking of earlier than nine months (for reasons that are a bit too complicated to go into), but am too embarrassed to 'fess up even here as to how early...

to me it depends on the child, the nursery, and the hours they're there for. my dd3 went to nursery part time from 3 months but we knew the nursery very well, it was a workplace one, her sister was there, we were totally happy with it. dd3 and her sisters always seemed very happy there too.

but dd1 went, briefly, to nusery as a 6m baby to a much crummeier nursery and that was definitely too young for that nursery, which was more geared up to toddlers.

in my mind, the younger the baby is, the more you need to be really very sure the childcare is excellent. which fits with the evidence Eliza70 cites.

well personally i'd like my child to be able to tell me if they dislike it, so once they're talking

i realise this is not a possibility for a lot of people though, but i would still hold out for as long as possible

TattyHead Please don't feel bad, in an ideal world we would all do things different, but circumstances sometimes mean we have to do stuff we don't really want too.

In answer to your question I've had babies from about 6wks old, settling in at 3wks.

My DD went in when she was 5.5 months old and stayed there until she started school this January. I unfortunately had no choice and had to work.

I did look at several nurseries before I found one that I liked.

I felt awful at the time, but I look at her now, almost 5 years old, and I know I made the right move.

Its all down to your own instinct. Follow what your heart/head says. If the nursery doesnt "feel" right, walk away

Thank you to everyone who has answered my questions so far, you have all given really helpful advice. In an ideal world I would probably wait until 6 months, but, as you all recognise, we aren't in an ideal world unfortunately!

@atworknotworking, you say you have babies from 6 weeks - do you run a nursery or work as childminder? I am a person who worries a lot about practical details - how does it work with immunisations, weaning, and stuff like that? Is all that stuff discussed in detail with the parents.

Yes whether you use a nursery or CM they should still follow same proceedure for each child. You will be given the opportunity to discuss development and how you want to do things as your baby grows for eg, do you want baby led weaning, or staff to feed etc, what sleep routine do you want baby in etc.

You should also be given plenty of opportunity to call in for settling in sessions and also as an ongoing relationship with the staff. A detailed booklet will probably be given for you to complete, so the staff know as much as possible before your child starts.

WRT immunisations you would have to check individual nursery policy's.

For very young babies close relationships with familiar carers are very important so if you are considering using a nursery rather than a childminder I would look for one where the keyworker does the majority of caring for the child.

Most settings have keyworkers but often these are just the staff responsible for completing the paperwork for that child. You need a keyworker who is there for most of the time your baby is there, does the feeds, nappy changes, cuddles and lots of one to one playtime. That way your baby has the close, supportive, comforting, secure relationship he/she needs to develop best. Ask a lot of searching questions when you visit settings to make sure that your baby won't just be passed to whoever is free to do a feed or whoever's turn it is to do nappies that day.