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Massive seperation anxiety

2 replies

avariceandlatinos · 22/06/2010 10:35

Has anybody been through this or have any advice to offer?
My baby is no longer settled at nursery. She has been there for months, but now she is coming up to a year she's starting to become hysterical at leaving me, clings to me, and when i get her home from nursery if i so much as move to the other side of the room she shrieks and wails and tries to crawl up my legs, she wakes up 3-4 times a night crying out too. She's in nursery four days a week but this is really upsetting me now as i don't feel like i'm doing the best for her, this goes against my mothering instinct and i'm sure that doesn't help although i do do make the effort to be confident when saying goodbye. I would love to have a relative to leave her with but unfortunatly like many of us mums that's just not the case. I don't know whether to interrupt my degree as there is no part time option because i'm worried this is going to make her more insecure as she doesn't seem to be getting better, but worse and i don't want this to harm our relationship. Am i being overly concerned? Do they ever get passed this? I also notice when she's at home with me more during holidays her development seems to come on more quickly than when she's at nursery -she doesn't attempt to communicate at nursery for example. I've still got 7 months until my degree is finished. I just thought other mums or nursery nurses might be able to empathise with the situation and offer advice.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
avariceandlatinos · 22/06/2010 10:35

Has anybody been through this or have any advice to offer?
My baby is no longer settled at nursery. She has been there for months, but now she is coming up to a year she's starting to become hysterical at leaving me, clings to me, and when i get her home from nursery if i so much as move to the other side of the room she shrieks and wails and tries to crawl up my legs, she wakes up 3-4 times a night crying out too. She's in nursery four days a week but this is really upsetting me now as i don't feel like i'm doing the best for her, this goes against my mothering instinct and i'm sure that doesn't help although i do do make the effort to be confident when saying goodbye. I would love to have a relative to leave her with but unfortunatly like many of us mums that's just not the case. I don't know whether to interrupt my degree as there is no part time option because i'm worried this is going to make her more insecure as she doesn't seem to be getting better, but worse and i don't want this to harm our relationship. Am i being overly concerned? Do they ever get passed this? I also notice when she's at home with me more during holidays her development seems to come on more quickly than when she's at nursery -she doesn't attempt to communicate at nursery for example. I've still got 7 months until my degree is finished. I just thought other mums or nursery nurses might be able to empathise with the situation and offer advice.

OP posts:
dinkystinky · 22/06/2010 10:41

I've been through separation anxiety with DS2 recently. Started a post in behanviour and in sleep asking quite how any one manages to survive it - some lovely posters came along and reassured me they'd been there and eventually come through the other end and both they and their little ones were fine - so there is hope for you and your dd.

DS2 suddenly started having separation anxiety out of nowhere (been with nanny who has been with us his whole life, helping out with his big brother while I was on maternity leave) at around 15 months - especially at bedtime and nap time. Would scream the house down. We did what he had to in order to get through it - lots of sitting by his cot, shushing him, reassuring him - then gradually over time moving away abit further till we were by the door, then gradually out the room. Also installed a night light which he likes to see for security. It took weeks and weeks but the stage did pass. Remain calm, consistent and loving and your dd will be sure of you and become more confident in herself.

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