Nursery Woes

[1stbaby]

Hi
I have just started my 2 1/2 year old daughter in Nursery 3 days per week and she HATES it. She cries really hard at drop off and has to be physically peeled off me most mornings. When I pick her up they tell me she has had tears several times in the day asking for mummy and she is usually weepy when she sees me. She then spends her whole evening at home asking when she is going to nursery again (I am always honest about this) and saying she doesnt want to go and crying. She can be distracted but it isnt long before the nursery topic comes up again.
I just dont understand it. She has been at a Childminder full time from the age of 11 months so is used to me being away from her. The nursery is a nice place and the staff are lovely. Its only been 3 weeks, do I just give her more time or should I take her out of nursery and put her back full time with the child minder (she still goes 2 days a week but we moved house 6 months ago and the travel was getting a bit tedious)
Any advice appreciated as I am at a loss and hate seeing her so miserable.

I say stick with it, although I know it can be hard on you. It's good that the nursery workers are sharing information with you, though I hope they share positive moments as well! Does your DD have a keyworker there? Creating a bond with one person might help her settle. In my experience working in nurseries, children settle in their own time and some take longer than others. How many children are in her group in the nursery? Perhaps it's a lot busier than being at your CM and it's difficult to adjust to?

Also, were you able to spend any time with her at the nursery to help settle her in? That can help too.

I'm very impressed with how honest the nursery are being. They could easily pretend she's fine and I know several settings who do just that.

Esmee's thoughts about a keyworker could be worth looking into. Developing a bond with one consistent person might help her feel more secure but this would work best if there is somebody she's chosen to go to for comfort and that person is there whenever she is - quite a tall order.

You can also ask the nursery to do some observations to spot what is triggering her episodes of crying during the day.

I'd make sure she has comfort objects and is allowed to use these consistently. A jumper which you have been wearing could be a great comfort to her especially if a staff member will put it against them when they are holding her.

My gut feeling is to say take her back to the childminder but only if you can leave it a good long time before you try it again.

I would leave it a bit longer but if you do that the childminder may have filled your daughters space.

Thanks guys, she does have a key worker but the nursery work on a system of allocating a key worker when they start but then letting the child 'choose' themselves so the key worker will change if she bonds with someone else better. She doesn?t seem to have picked a particular person yet though.
You are right I think in that I need to give her more time - it?s just so heartbreaking. Especially when we have had a nice calm weekend without her worrying about Nursery. I know it will all go horribly wrong again later in the week when she goes back though. It?s probably also true that the number of children unnerves her as there are about 15 in her group and she is used to one other at the childminder. I naively thought she would like that as she normally loves other kids!

Could you also see about arranging some one-on-one time with one or two other children from her class over a weekend? If she gets to know them better she may feel less overwhelmed by a large group.

When DS had trouble adjusting to a new room at nursery we did find it helped to get there as soon as possible after the nursery opened in the morning so that he would be the first one there or one of the first couple. That meant he got lots of attention from the staff at drop-off time and then the other children arrived gradually so he wasn't thrust into the middle of a big group. It's counter-intuitive to an extent as if a child's not settling well at nursery you want to keep them with you as much as possible, but it did work for him.