Commuting to London and childcare

[LadyVi]

My husband and I currently live in south west London and our daughter is in a nursery close to our house. We are considering moving out of London to more affordable housing and I was wondering how working mums cope with childcare and commuting into the city every day. My working hours are 9-5 and most nurseries hours are 730am-630pm. The place where we are planning to move to will take at least 1and a half hours to get home from. What do other people do? Put baby in daycare near to work to make sure they meet the times but then have to have baby on the train home OR is the only option to change working hours? Unfortunately the latter option isn't an option at the moment. I'm worried that if I move further out of the city it would mean hardly ever seeing my daughter during the week or a major career change for me, which we just can't afford at the moment.

I commute to London (2.15 hours each way).

My children were at nursery near home, but dh was able to take them in the morning. I agreed with my employers to start earlier so I could leave in time to see them in the evening.

It only works for us because dh's hours are flexible. I think the key is to work out a routine that suits both of you but be aware of the need to have a disaster plan in place.

Request flexible working hours, to cover one end of the day? Get your husband to do the same?

Switch from daycare to a nanny?

Get an au pair or childminder to do drop offs and pick ups to a nursery close to your home?

Don't move? Or move to a job neaer to your new home?

It is difficult and there is no perfect solution. More childcare or less work are the options, I'm afraid!

To be brutally honest, I'd seriously consider whether you want to move so far away from where you work. A one-and-a-half hour commute both ways sounds unworkable to me. Even if you manage it, you're right - you;ll see very little of your child and you will be exhausted.

I think you might be exhausted and see your daughter less. Is it really worth it? I personally would live in a smaller house near to work but then I HATE commuting and mine is only 20 mins on the tube door to door.

We do the same as above, I start work a bit later so that I can drop her off and DH finishes a bit earlier so he can pick her up. It's not ideal as it means that I don't get home till all hours but it works.

Gosh it is like I feared, there are no easy answers are there? We are renting at the moment so moving out of London would be our only option to buy.. I'm thinking it might be a better idea to wait until she's older, DD is just 9 months at the moment. We're not desperate to move but I am worried that if we don't buy soon we never will.

Thanks for all your replies.

I commute in and our daughter goes to nursery just near my work. We spend lots of time together on the way in and on the way home and it works really well and she is so happy at nursery. I don't think we spend less time together at all.

There are no easy answers. I had a 2 hour commute and daughter in nursery near home for 12 months. It worked because my employer was very flexible and I could work from home quite a bit as well. Unfortunately I was made redundant - could my flexible working have contributed to this? - and now can't see any possibility of getting another job in London on similar flexible terms. My husband has a similar commute and we have agreed that right now it would be impossible for us both to work in London so I am looking at other options.

Actually, when you factor in the cost of commuting (up to £30 a day in our case if you park at the main station), you realise you can take quite a pay cut and work locally without denting the weekly budget too much.

Also, when we moved here, I was convinced that it was an hour and a half commute. The reality, in rush hour and when you factor in the time it takes to park, walk to the station etc., is quite different.

I have a friend in a similar situation and she moved to part time working and hired a nanny based on 12 hour days, four days a week.