Eating at nursery, my daughter won't and had food put in her mouth by a worker?

[mummytowillow]

My daughter (3) has been going to nursery for 9 months now, she has settled really well but doesn't eat whilst she is there (apart from yoghurt), this is obviously a concern for them but what can I do she is a terrible eater and only eats if she wants to?

So, last week she said 'the ladies put dinner in my mouth and I cried', I thought nothing of it until one of the nursery nurses told me they had put cherry cheesecake on her mouth and she had gone hysterical? I hate cherries and she does to!

So if you work in a nursery would you put the food on their mouth or try to put it in their mouth, or is it a no no?? I'm really happy with her nursery and don't really want to cause a fuss if its the norm??

Put it "on" her mouth?

What does this mean?

I'd ask the nursery to clarify exactly what happened. I don't like the sound of it.

Did she perhaps just put a spoon to her lips to taste the food?

I think that is completely unacceptable and I would be furious if our nursery did that. DS is going through a bad phase with food at the moment and won't eat dinner ay nursery. I have told them not to make a big deal out of it, he will eat when he decides he wants to and I just need to make sure I give him an acceptable (to him!) nutritious meal when he gets home. Doing something like that could set her back massively, the last thing they should be doing is making food into a battle.

Surely if its that much of a concern to them they nedd to talk to you and get a plan in place not 'put' food on her mouth.
Id be speaking to the manager 1st thing monday.
Also why did your daughter have to tell you this (im presuming the nn just sonfirmed it when you asked).
This is how food phobias start.

The worker told me herself she 'wiped' the cherry sauce on her bottom lip!

I don't get upset about her eating as I would drive myself mad, everyone else does though! She is well and delightful, quite small for her age but a paediatrician said she is fine!

Should I tell them them to just leave her alone then?

Oh and DD told me a few days before they had done this, so they have obviously done it again?

I know with DS (also 3) that if you try to encourage him to eat at all it has the inverse effect. If you ignore him he is more likely to eat, especially if everyone else around him is eating.

I'm frustrated because he used to always eat well at nursery so I never needed to worry too much about making sure his meals at home were hat balanced, all it means now is that I need to think about it more.

But yes, I think I would ask them to back off.

I do feel for nurseries cos every parent has different views on food and how to deal with children not eating. I have the opposite problem, in that I feel that the nursery are not trying hard enough to get DD to eat!

I wouldn't get too wound up with the nursery, but I do think its crucial for you to talk to the nursery about the way you want them to deal with your DDs eating issues. My DDs nursery are compiling a food diary of what my DD eats so I have a better idea of what she has eaten (she always claims she has eaten 'most of it'!). They also give her a sticker if she tries to eat her veg. You and the nursery should be working together on this.

That is a very good point, it must be hard for them to keep track when they have 15 kids eating.

I can see nursery's 'logic' - in that yogurts are fruit based and she might be encouraged to eat cherry cheesecake which is a similar flavour to those found in yoghurt's, it's also sweet but a different texture, whilst seated with her peers which often encourages a reluctant eater to eat. Would assume they thought they were doing exactly the right thing and you would be pleased. What you need to find out from dd's description is the approach they are taking: e.g. did they said "open" and in it went, whether dd did want try it, they put food in her mouth for her and then she didn't like it or whether they were more forceful about it.

Given you say you are otherwise happy, have a dialogue and agree with them what you do want.

Just tell the nursery how you would like the food issue to be approached - as soon as they know your preferences I'm sure they will stick to them.

I am a nursery nurse and I would never force feed a child. But I am a very experienced and well qualified one that has a fussy eater myself.
I would never force a child to eat anything, although I have seen it happen. I have cared for lots of children who have problems with food, and I have had some great successes with getting them to eat. Gentle persuasion is the way to go. I do encourage children to try the food, but if the don't want to eat it, I take it away with no fuss.
Maybe have a word with the manager, OP, and get them to keep a diary of what sheis offered and waht she does eat. Let them know that you are not happy with your DD being force fed. If she doesn't like cheesecake, can she not have a piece of fruit instead?

I agree with purepurple I have often put a bit on a spoon for a child to lick, to see if they like it which is very different from making or forceing a child to eat.

It's hard to get the balance right as all parents like to try different things, so I would definately state clearly how you want things to be approached so that your child has continuity at home and nursery.