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Nurseries

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Original poster

Please help, bit worried about this - what would you do?

11 replies

bitconcernedaboutthis · 04/05/2010 19:38

Ds (13mo) has been going to nursery a few days a week for just over a month now as I'm back at work. He seemed to settle very well at the beginning and wasn't bothered about me leaving at all.

Increasingly though he is getting clingy (both when I leave him and on his days at home).

This morning when I took him in I was holding him in my arms and I had to drop off some stuff in the room where they change the nappies (which I don't normally go in). There were no staff around in the room as it was early. As soon as I started to go into the room where they change the nappies with ds in my arms he started screaming and arching his back which he carried on doing for the few mins I was in the room, as soon as I took him out he was fine but then to test I tried taking him back in there again and he did exactly the same again, screaming much worse than he normally would.

I'm probably completely overreacting and paranoid (PFB!) but I've started worrying about whether something could be happening to him in that room - I'm not saying abuse but something not right - it was just so out of character for him.

What would you do? Am I worrying unnecessarily? Should I speak to someone at the nursery? Waiting for dh to come home to talk to him but really would welcome your opinions.

btw I'm a regular poster but have namechanged as this could be v sensitive if there is anything wrong.

please help put my mind at rest

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Original poster

bitconcernedaboutthis · 04/05/2010 20:09

anyone?

OP posts:

Scarfmaker · 04/05/2010 21:05

I would say that a month is not that long for a 13 month to be able to settle into a nursery so I would give it a bit longer and I'm sure he will be fine.

As far as going into the nappy changing room and getting really upset, arching back, etc. is it because he thinks his nappy is going to be changed?

What's he like at home for nappy change - does he get upset?

I just say this because I have had babies in my care that hate having their nappy change and one I have now that reacts as soon as I get the changing mat and wipes out. He throws himself back and cries but while it's being done is ok.

grapeandlemon · 04/05/2010 21:08

Does he cry with you during a nappy change? Is it something that he really doesn't like?

atworknotworking · 04/05/2010 21:13

Try posting on the childminders thread, it tends to be busier and you will get (hopefully) some good advice.

Hmm not sure what to make of this really, as a mum I would also be concerned if I was in this situation, its one of those things that could be totally innocent or terrably wrong. The first thing I would ask really is how is the nappy change at home, have you noticed any changes in your sons reaction when its change time. He is still fairly new to the nursery perhaps the routine is different and he's unsettled. Do you know if they operate a key worker system, is it a familiar person who changes his nappy or is it someone he doesnt know who is on nappy duty. I work as a CM and all my mindees have their own special routine that they have at home that we follow, we have one who hates cold baby wipes, so we warm them on the radiator a little. They all have their own mats that they help get ready before changes one has to have their socks pulled up after a change and one has to have their socks taken off. They all sound like silly things but are so important to them and children can and do get quite upset at even the smallest change.

Original poster

bitconcernedaboutthis · 04/05/2010 21:27

Thanks for your replies, he is normally absolutely fine with nappy change at home - doesn't like lying still but not sure many 13mo's do! Certainly never screams/makes a big fuss. Yes there is a keyworker system but it's not always the keyworker who changes the nappies - but he's never made a fuss when e.g. my friends have changed him so it's not as if that in itself bothers him. He has his usual wipes/nappies that I take in for him and also as it happens the changing mat and border on the wall next to it is identical to what we have at home so really wouldn't expect him to find it unsettling - which is why I'm concerned.

My dh is home now and he thinks I'm probably worrying about nothing but that I should try going in that room with ds again tomorrow and see if the same thing happens

OP posts:

Missus84 · 05/05/2010 16:27

I would ask his keyworker how he is with having his nappy changed, if she's noticed him getting very upset, and how they deal with it - see what her reaction/explanation is.

Original poster

bitconcernedaboutthis · 05/05/2010 20:23

Thanks missus84 - that's what I did today, I tested taking him into the room again this morning before the staff were around and he cried again, though not quite as agitated as yesterday. I asked his keyworker and she said he was always fine with nappy change and seemed very surprised that I raised it as a potential issue. She said she'd talk to the other staff and see if they'd noticed anything and this evening she said that everyone had said he was fine with them.

I do believe her - she seemed genuinely surprised that I said he'd got upset - but I still can't understand why he gets upset just in that room...

Arrgggh - any other ideas anyone?

thank you!

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JennyWren · 05/05/2010 20:31

Could it be that, as you say you don't normally go into that room, he feels that it is 'wrong' that you did it that way yesterday. He didn't like it much today, but it wasn't as bad as yesterday - maybe he's just coming round to the idea that sometimes you do that. My DS goes to nursery 3 days each week and absolutely has his own drop-off routine - as soon as we walk in we have to go straight to the cloakroom to put his coat in his box, and he really didn't like it when we had a couple of very warm days and didn't take a coat. Because that they way he feels it should be done, just because that's the way we always do it, IYSWIM. Could that be a factor for your DS?

sleeplessinseatle · 05/05/2010 21:09

Perhaps he doesnt like very confined spaces, if the room is v. small? My dc hates being taken into a toilet cubicle with me when the door is shut. Might not have much experience of it?

Original poster

bitconcernedaboutthis · 05/05/2010 21:47

interesting ideas jennywren/sleepless - I wouldn't have thought about either of those

tbh I'd be happy if it is any of those - anything other than something horrid is happening to him in that room which is what I still keep worrying about

thanks for your thoughts everyone, I will see how it goes next week

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purepurple · 08/05/2010 08:49

I doubt very much if something 'horrid' is happening to him in that room.
Babies do cry and get upset and sometimes we just don't know why.
I think you have just confused him bu changing the routine by taking him into the changing room. he knows that you don't normally go in there and you have just upset his routine. After only a month, he is staill getting used to it all.
Why not leave the nappies with the staff in the room?

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