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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

5 months too little?

14 replies

glassespaisano · 21/03/2010 21:21

Hi Mums-

First time posting and feeling a bit over my head - nursery-wise.

We put our name down for a wonderful, well regarded nursery in our hood while preggo with first baby, not knowing when we'd get in (or want it!) but wanting to cover our bases.

Amazingly, we got a coveted 2 day spot - and DS is just 5 months old. We took him in for a settling visit and noted the other 5 babies were all 12 months old. Our wee boy seemed tiny.

I am from the US where babies start care very young, so thought 5 months was 'normal' age? Seems more UK babes are more like 12 months old before they start.

Now rethinking if he (and we) are ready. Seemed incongruous to have such an age discrepancy together-- very different needs. Plus, DS is BF exclusively and not planning on weaning anytime very soon. A pain to express so much?

Don't want to annoy the nursery - as we will want to use them when boy is 10-12 months. But thinking he is too little to start.

I am self employed and we can wait a few more months before I work. Or should we bite the bullet and get him into this great place?

TYIA for any input. Feeling very torn.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

chachachachacha · 21/03/2010 21:24

tbh if you can wait I would.

you won't annoy the nursery - just say your plans have changed and they should be able to be flexible around you.

rubyslippers · 21/03/2010 21:24

my Ds went to nursery at 6 months as i had to return to work

if the nursery is good and he has a nice key worker then he should do well

why don't you see how it goes and if it isn't working then leave it - you are lucky if you don't have to go back to work then you have a lot more options to suck it and see as it were

Cadelaide · 21/03/2010 21:25

I would feel that 5 months is too young.

Plenty do though, you're going to have to follow your own instincts on this one.

I don't think it would annoy the nursery if you were to put it off for a bit, I'd imagine they're used to that.

BelleDameSansMerci · 21/03/2010 21:28

My DD started (full time) at four months. I am single parent and had to go back to work full time. She's a healthy, happy, chatty and, allegedly, intelligent two and a half year old and she loves her nursery. It is excellent though (real Montessori). She was very small when she started and I hated it to be honest. I honestly don't think it's done her any harm as she has been in such a wonderful, caring environment but if I'd had the choice I'd have waited until she was a year old. Not for her, but for me

compo · 21/03/2010 21:30

I think if you have a choice I would wait
mine started at five months because I had no choice
they were fine but I wouldn't have done it if I didn't have to

MrsHappy · 21/03/2010 21:31

Talk to them. If you are not sure about sending your son now, then don't - the nursery will understand, I imagine, and if places are that coveted then they will be able to fill it. But it may also be the case that other smaller babies are starting soon. I know what you mean about the age discrepancy, though - when DD1 was 1 she moved out of the baby room and into a different room where she was the only child not walking (as the others were nearer 2) and I was sure the others were all constantly tripping over her and hurting her (they weren't, but it's what I worried about). As long as the staff are good, though, they should be able to deal with the children's differing needs.

I started my DD1 at nursery at a similar age and it was fine, by the way. I do think it is fairly unusual in the UK because of our relatively generous maternity leave (esp compared to the US), but that doesn't mean that noone sends their babies when they are this little.

SmithyTheBounder · 21/03/2010 21:34

I would say that anything under two years is arguably too young, and five months - unless you have no choice - really is not a good idea. I wouldn't want any child in childcare until they are able to talk so that they're understood by people outside the family, which would also tend to be the time when they don't need so much one-to-one care. Five-month-old babies really should be bonding with a primary carer who cherishes them above all else.

compo · 21/03/2010 21:39

The problem for me in the baby room that although the staff were excellent they only have one pair of hands, so I think it's one member of staff to three babies - if they are making up a bottle for one baby or changing a nappy and the other two are crying then they have to wait
that is less likely to happen when they are at home with just you , except obv if your on the loo, cooking or with sibling but it's not as frequent
they did have swings to put cranky babies in which were great though

Original poster

glassespaisano · 21/03/2010 21:40

Thanks gals. I love love the zoom-fast replies and hearing your thoughts.

I get that Good Nurseries (which this is) can make all the difference.

We have another settling visit tomorrow and may have a frank chat with them about how we feel. It is a fantastic place ... and while I don't want to miss out, my gut (as well as my DH's) tells me wait if I can. He is my DS after all and I do cherish him.

Thank you smart Mums!

OP posts:

gwenner · 30/07/2010 22:38

Mine were 10 wks.

thisisyesterday · 30/07/2010 22:43

if you can wait i would wait. he's only tiny and what HE needs is his mum.

people do use nurseries for very small babies, but i suspect the vast majority of them wouldn't if they didn't absolutely have to

Mimile · 30/07/2010 23:05

If all the other babies are 12 month old, they are likely to be moving about quite a bit - less competition that if, say, they were all 3-6 month old.
If these two days enable you to get some time for work or similar, go for it. If you are going to be at home worrying, maybe best wait.
My DD was 4 months old, I didn't love it at first, but she settled fast - we both had to. She loves her keyworker and the other kids there - I do not regret our choice.

dribbleface · 31/07/2010 09:46

Hi,

I think having a chat with them is the best thing to put your mind at ease. if you really want to wait i would.

On the subject of spaces if you wait you might not get another one when you need. They will fill that space, unless you pay for it and not use it (unlikely i know!). Then another slot might not be available for a while.I'm sure they will be helpful if the can but you need to be aware of this. I'm not saying this should be the deciding factor but just wanted to help your thought process.

The other thing to consider is that it may be harder to settle him at 12 mths than 5 mths. My littl eboy started at 9mths and didn't settle well (was right in middle of seperation anxiety), however if I had started him a month or so earlier I think it would have been easier on him and me!
best wishes

dribbleface · 31/07/2010 09:48

Doh! just seen the date of original post, i wonder what OP decided!

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