My feed

to access all these features

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum.


How long for a toddler to settle at nursery

7 replies

hugebelly · 25/02/2010 15:26

have a toddler who is nearly 2 and she's settling in a nursery for a couple of hours at a time. She cried when I leave and won't let go when I arrive back.

How long before she feels content in her surrounding and being 'abandoned' by mummy?

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 25/02/2010 15:27

is she ok after you go?

hugebelly · 25/02/2010 15:31

About 2 mins after leaving she was ok-ish and the staff spent all the time on her. I stayed behind and looked through the glass and she was just looking at the toys, but not really engaging in any activity.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 25/02/2010 15:38

so, she is ok

maybe the staff can encourage her to get more involved when she feels comfortable

there is nothing worng about looking at the toys = she needs to familiarise herslef with her surroundings

are you happy wit the nursery/staff?

does she have to go?

hugebelly · 25/02/2010 15:46

The nursery and staff are great! I feel very happy and comfortable with the set up.

I've been quite ill lately and haven't been able to play with her or really look after her, so whilst I recuperate, I'd like her to go to nursery. She also needs more interaction with other children as it's just us during the day and she gets a bit bored.

OP posts:
witchwithallthetrimmings · 25/02/2010 15:53

Some nurseries have a model of settling that does not work for all babies. I think they want us out of the way so that our los learn to cope without us. This just did not work for my dd, she got unhappier each time we went, so i took a break and then tried a differnet tactic.

We went every day for a session and I stayed with her for the first couple of times. I acted like the nursery workers (playing and talking with the other children) to allow her the space to explore her surroundings herself when she felt secure. After the second day she was happy playing away from me and would give the other adults hugs. I then started leaving her (10 mins, then 1/2 and hour, then 1 hour, then 2 hours, then the full session). The whole process took about 2 weeks but she now settles fine (she cries when i leave her but only for a minute or two)

paddypoopants · 25/02/2010 15:53

It took my ds about 3 months to settle in properly. However he was younger - about 15 months when he started. It didn't help he caught everything that was going and kept having to miss days.
I thought he just didn't like it but both a friend and my sister said it took their dc a good long while to properly settle as well. Occasionally there are tears when I leave and tears when I come to get him. But he loves it, when it's nursery day he gets all excited. It's a big adjustment but I bet she settles soon. It's hard but perservere.

loobie1 · 25/02/2010 23:43

I work in childcare and i truly understand how u feel. Every child is different in settling in. Some settle straight away and others it takes a bit longer. I know how heartbreaking it is to leave them when they cry but they do settle in time. The reason she wont let go when you get back is for her own reassurance...she's making sure your still there!!!(this does get easier as she settles) As for not interacting she will when she is comfortable...when us adults are put in a new situation we don't become "ourselves" until we have settled into the new environment. It takes little uns longer. If the staff are anything like me, they will put in every effort to make your child feel comfortable and happy in her new environment. Once she is comfortable she will begin to interact and engage. Just make sure she has lots of reassurance and tell her you will be back soon. I tend to use the phrase " I'm just going shopping I'll be back soon" when they know you will be coming back it makes them happier. hope this helps you x

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.