Why has DS (3.3) started wetting himself at nursery?

[kwaker5]

I've also posted in toilet training.

Started toilet training at 2.11 and it went quite well initally. Sometimes it is fine, but we do have to nag quite a lot and deal with damp spots where he's leaked a bit in his pants.

He very rarely does a whole wee in his pants at home (only once since Christmas I think). However, since Christmas he's had anything up to 4 accidents a day at nursery. And he doesn't tell them when he's had an accident.

I know one of the staff went on maternity leave at Christmas but he knows the member of staff who is covering for her. I think a few new children have started too. Tonight when I picked him up he had had 3 accidents and I said that if they wanted to go back to stickers/taking him every hour that was fine with me. I don't think the staff are to blame at all but for some reason he doesn't seem to think he needs to use the toilet there anymore!

I have talked to him about it but he doesn't have much in the way of a reason other than 'I did it in my pants because I didn't go to the toilet'!

Is there anything else I can do?

Going to the toilet isn't much fun is it? You have to stop what you're doing, walk over to the toilet, pull things down, squirt, pull everything up again, wash your hands if you think people are looking, then go back to what you were doing and maybe find somebody else has taken over. Why not give it a bit longer before you go? Nothings coming out just yet is it? Oops! Still, only a bit came out. Not worth all the fuss of getting changed is it?

It's probably complacency. Try rewards at the end of the day. Stickers when he wees might not help if he doesn't empty the tank fully. We've tried that at my nurseries and found the child often only does a quick few drips to win the sticker.

Thanks TD. Do you know how long the phase might last?!

Today he had 2 full accidents, despite being taken to the loo every 30 mins (although I think he is a bit beyond the stage of being taken so frequently). Apparently he also cried when they spotted he'd wet himself.

Do you think we/nursery can do much more than wait for it to pass?

At least he cares. It can be really tough if they don't.

The taking to the loo might be a good trick. You can't actually say to a child "I'm going to annoy you every half an hour until you wee in the right place", but you can 'help' and have the same effect.

A bit more rewarding?

I can't remember any of my nursery children going to school not being able to control their bladder regularly. I'm sure he'll get the hang of it when he really wants to.

Is it worth checking he hasn't got an infection?? Although, with boys, I'd have to agree that it's usually laziness rather than not being able to tell when you need a wee that is the problem.

My DS (3.8) was a bit like this (hell, he IS a bit like this) with night time wetting. I found stickers and little rewards (5 stickers = a magazine or similar) concentrates his mind! Then, a couple of months later, he gets lazy again and we go back to stickers. It's a bit frustrating - I wanted to sort of "tick off" potty training, but I guess it's not that simple.....

I had him checked out for infection but he's clear. Sounds as though it is something they just have to grow out of and work out for themselves. He's capable of doing it but doesn't seem to have decided it is that important yet!

We had the same when baby came along, preschool reduced to two days... suddenly we had more accidents again. Some children are just sensitive to change in their lives.

We painted a nice picture toghether and hung it up in the childrens bedroom. Every night when he did not have an accident all day he gets to choose a sticker to put on this picture. Works a treat for us.

I'm glad to knwo I'm not alone. I think he is very sensitive to change (yesterday he complained that his rice was 'different' - it was Tesco's rather than Sainsbury's!). We are supposed to be moving house soon and I am dreading introducing him to the idea, never mind the actual move!

The picture sounds a lovely idea - I might give that a try.