Childcare nightmare - please help! (long story)

[dairycow]

Hi, I was wondering if anyone had any solutions to my childcare arrangements, as currently they just aren't working for us!
I went back to work last October, and our DD1 goes to nursery,( she is soon to be one). The thing is since she has been at nursery she has never been as sick - coughs and colds I would expect, but she seems to have a lot of 'loose nappies', and this week it was an eye infection. We didn't have these problems before she started at nursery, and over the Christmas break she was perfectly well, and even her nappies were fine. There have also been a couple of very nasty bugs going round recently, which even extended to making the parents of the children VERY ill.
We don't seem to be able to get through a week without them ringing me up at work, requesting that we collect her early as she is sick/it is snowing (etc etc).
We have also had a lot of problems trying to get our daughter's needs across to the nursery eg requesting they DON'T give her chocolate biscuits, only to find a couple of weeks later one fell out of her babygro! Also there was a dummy in her bag one day - (our baby has never had a dummy -had they put that in her mouth?!)
I am finding it difficult to find alternative arrangements as we live in a ruralish area, and my husband and I commute in opposite directions, but need to share drop off/pick up. Would a childminder be a better option and how do you find a good one?

I'm afraid the constant illness is part and parcel of them starting nursery. It does feel like they are constantly ill. The upside of it is that they build up a fantastic immune system. DD (4) is rarely ill these days.

The chocolate biscuit and dummy is something that needs addressing. I'm quite shocked that a nursery would even have chocolate biscuits. Have you spoken to them about this?

I'm afraid I have never used a childminder so can't advise on that.

Agree with Lulyboo - v tough at first. Horrid with new life pressures to have to take time off and work late remotely as DC poorly from nursery but I could tell you a thousand positives for nursery and it really is just the initiation. My DS was I'll for about 8 weeks with z variety of bugs when I returned to work and it was awful, but he was rarely ill with anything after that and is much much healthier than the non nursery kiddies.

Hang in there, it's a massive life shift but it DOES improve!

hi yes she will be building up quite an immune system! I'm worried that there are poor hygiene prsctices going on though. I'm thinking of insisting they have a dep clean - after all they do have a duty of care.
Regarding the chocolate biscuit incident, I didn't bring it up, as I don't feel that they act on a single thing we ask anyway, and resolved to myself that we will move her to a better nursey ASAP. However, I now seem to have hit a brick wall, as most nurseries don't seem to have hours to suit us or our commutes to work.

The illness thing is common but frustrating. I remembered when DS1 started nursery and every week, we had to go and pick him up for one thing or the other... Also, I think around the age of turning 1 is when they start really building up their immunity as well by catching lots of bugs... It was so frustrating as I had just started back at work as well and always having to leave early to pick him up. Like Lubyloo said, it does stop and my DS1 is now like an ox at 23 months old, rarely ill. But I do remember the illness thing going on for a good few months though...

I wouldn't worry about the dummy thing. Sometimes other kids' stuff make it into DS1's bag. Including a dummy and my DS1 has never had a dummy. The nursery insisted it is his though so I just took it home and threw it. Ha ha.

I agree that the chocolate biscuit thing shouldn't be done... DS1's nursery only has fruit and rice cakes as snacks. Occasionally they do have birthday cake etc but they will ask the parent (when they come to pick up) if it's okay for the kid to have them. Chocolate biscuits on a regular basis is wrong at their age. Are you sure it's not the carers eating them and accidentally dropping one on your DD1? Best to check...

Just to put an alternative perspective I would recommend a childminder.
DD has been going to CM since she was 9mo (now 2.7) and we had only three incidents of her being sent home in all that time (one vomiting, 2 cold/ear infection with high temp). I think its because there are fewer others to catch stuff from and also the CM seems willing to have her if she is a bit off colour eg just cold no temp.
People worry about the CM being sick herself but its never happened to us.
I like only having to deal with one person so I think messages about how you want your child cared for are more likely to get through.
If you want to look into it personal recommendation is best or there is a government website google childcare information service.

I am ever so happy with the nursery my DS is at (he sounds to be about the same age as your baby, almost 11 months). He has been there for 4-5 months, now. However, he has been ill what seems like all the time. Being a bit of a saddo I've actually kept a graph of his attendance - in December for example he only went on 50% of his paid-for days (he had to go to grandma or a friendly neighbour the rest of the time). He has had: swine flu (I think), conjunctivitis, bronchiolitis, several colds, tummy upset, loose nappies by the score. However, if he wasn't at nursery he would be with a CM (hence other kids also) or a nanny who would take him to playgroup (other kids there too). So I am gritting my teeth on his behalf (because he doesn't really seem to care a jot) and hoping that what others say on this Topic about them being less ill later on is true!

On stuff in DS bag: I could have made money on Ebay from the amount of socks and T-shirts, bottles and lunchboxes I've collected. Actually I exaggerate, but you know what I mean.

On choc biscuit - do you give your baby a packed lunch to take? I have to because mine doesn't serve food until the next room up. I ask, because it could be that one of the other kids had a biscuit and your DC swiped it, placed it carefully in her babygro and then forgot about it

When I really think about it, if I ever feel any sense of annoyance it's always to do with poor communication ie the NN doesn't seem to be paying attention. I think I would speak to the manager to pleasantly emphasise how I was expecting the baby to be cared for, and be clear that I expected all NNs who staff the baby room including lunchtime cover to know what to do or what not to do re your DD.

I'm about to use a cm soon. You will have to interview several, but if you find a good one, I think it can work better than nursery for the reasons you speak of. There are also cms who are not so great. You have to visit and interview, check qualifications and experience.

Those I saw ranged from no experience and a messy, tiny home that was horrid all the way to an experienced nanny deciding to childmind instead with loads of qualifications and glowing references!! (we chose the latter, obviously and I like her more than the nurseries I saw). I wouldn't rule a cm out. Visit a few and see what you think. Less chance for germs with fewer kids (my cm takes on a max of 3 kids and doesn't have her own)

this site is great and you can search for cms in your area

What hours would you need to cover ref the commutting etc? I only ask as we have similar challenges (my DH is away with military 60/70% of the time and I have a 3 hr commute 4 days a week. We now have a combination of a mothers help that comes to our house and does breakfast and the drop-off at nursery, which I (or DH is here) do the puck up.