Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

the carers branding my ds?Sorry it's too long story

2 replies

formychildren · 02/12/2009 16:07

My child has been attending a nursery since early this year. The carers have been complaining abt him saying "he is not doing what he's told!" "doesn't seem to process what the carers are telling him to do". they even said he is aggressive/dangerous towards other children, though they haven't elaborated on what exactly he's been doing. We know he wants to crash things like it happens in "Thomas tank engine" or "The cars" racing film. We think he's just imitating what he's seen in the tv and DVDs and he did used to get very excited when he sees such crashes on Thomas tank engine. Once it seems he has pushed a girl in the nursery but wouldn't say sorry to her even after asked by the carers. I know! it happened even with his little sister. He says he want to "say sorry the mummy". But he doesn't understand he has to say to his sister. But, now-a-days poor boy is saying sorry even to the walls and sofa when he bumps into them.yes this is another thing he does bumps into things, sth he may have learned through playing with the daddy. He wants run fast and give a hug/cuddle.the woman says he might be autistic b'se he walks on his tip toes(?).(He might have been doing this b'se he needs to wee or his shoes were a bit small after he has grown.(he has got new shoes now though). I got him into a routine to make him go to the toilet before I leave him in the nursery, b'se he wet himself thrice during his 1st week and moreover the toilet doors weren't open, which could only be open by an adult by bending over the short door, the bolt is inside. I've noticed children struggling to open the door when they were in need.So they said he doesn't like his routines to be changed. Once he was bringing back other child's "post man pat bag", while I was telling him that isn't his the carer told "this is not yours" in a way as if they don't want him there. I just didn't like the way she told him off. They say he is not like other children, he is not understanding according to his age or is not in line with other children's development.well i never gave him lots of 2time out periods or naughty steps". but after all these I started giving him "naughty corner and naughty step periods". The result, now-a-days instead of doing what he is told (sometimes) he just says he would sit on the naughty step. He is a boisterous player. They even have a complaint that he has only one friend at the nursery which they have put it as "unhealthy obsession with 1 child". could someone here tell me whether he is being a normal active/overactive boy or is a ADHD boy? is this normal for a boy to behave this way? I just don't like even to send him to that nursery

OP posts:
nurseryvoice · 02/12/2009 17:38

aw bless you, you must be feeling upset.

We can take this two ways, either your child is just a bit boistrous and the nursery practitioners arent the most diplomatic carers, or in fact they have a valid concern. Sometimes parents can be blinkered, we have had autistic children (not that im saying your child is) and the parents have been in complete denial until years later when they finally get statemented.

If a child is on their own at home they behave very differently to when they are in a different setting.

Why dont you ask to observe a session (to help them manage his behaviour)and suss it all out. although be aware he will behave differently again if you are there.

atworknotworking · 02/12/2009 19:05

How old is your DS? If you look online you should be able to find info of what a child should be achieving around this age, but as all children develop differently don't be overwhelmed by the information use it as a guide only.

nurseryvoices suggestion is good, I would ask the nursery if you could sit in on some of the sessions, possibly out of sight if at all possible (does the nursery have cameras, maybe you could watch the screen from another room). It may be that your DS does have additional needs, but the staff should be working with rather than showing negatives IYSWIM. I care for a mindee that loves transformers and is quite large for his age, is always diving around and bumping into everyone, we just go with the flow and when he gets into full swing we all dive for cover because decepticon is coming, that doesn't mean that we don't try to teach mindee that rough stuff isn't fun for everyone or to be careful with the littleones, it just teaches him that his play is fun for him and we can reason during play.

It sounds to me that your DS is getting confused especially when being told to say sorry, does he know why he needs to say sorry, are the staff explaining that x got knocked over and it hurt and thats why he needs to apologise, or are they just drumming it into him that he has to say sorry all the time. See if you can observe, you may be surprised at what you find unacceptable behaviour is, the difference between what he does at home etc.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread