8am - 6pm seems like a long day

[AnotherMuesliPleaseBarman]

Hi,

DS is starting nursery 2 days per week from January, when he will be 11 months. I'm currently trying to work out how I will fit my working hours / 3 hrs a day commute into the equation. I'm hoping to come to an arrangement where I can drop him off when nursery opens at 8am, and pick him up at 4pm. It's very difficult to do this with the hours I'm contracted to work, but I don't feel comfortable leaving him there until 6pm - it just seems like it would be such a long and exhausting day for him, even if it's only 2 days per week. Plus, it would be bedtime pretty much as soon as he got home.

Any thoughts? Is 8am-4pm significantly better than 8am - 6pm?

DS did 2 days a week from 7.45am til 6pm at around the same age.
He was ok with it, as much as you can tell at that age.
It was nearly bedtime when we got in, but I just accepted that for the 2 days that it needed to be done.

Not really sure that picking up at 4pm makes a huge difference. Seem to be wind down time and tea at most nurseries from 4pm onwards anyway.

I work two days a week and my DD is in nursery from 8am-6pm for both of those days. There's no way around it, it is a long day. If it's a good nursery though, your DS will be well looked after and entertained for that time.

I think you need to weigh up if you can get back for 4pm without being completely frazzled. And if you're commuting, you will not always be able to guarantee that you'll get there for 4pm anyway. I've lost count of the number of times that colleagues say 'this will only take a minute', when they know I need to get out of the door to the nursery for pick-up time. And there have been a coupe of times when I've been held up on the way home by traffic/accidents etc.

Another option, which would make his day shorter, is to find childcare close to work. This will mean that you have to take him on your commute though. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Hi. My DD started full time nursery at 4 months (single parent, never expected to have children, huge commitments from previous responsibility free life, etc) and I often don't drop her off until 9am (so she has breakfast at home) and usually pick her up at about 4:30/5:00pm but I work from home and when I'm not at home (ie out seeing customers) the times vary. Sometimes she's there from 8am until 6pm other times not such long days. What I'm trying to say is that perhaps you don't need to determine an exact time to pick but try to take it as it comes? Fully agree that a nursery near to work makes things easier - you get more time together albeit in the car and if there is ever a time when you need to get there quickly (if child is poorly, for example) you'll be able to get there without a long, stressful journey.

I was (and still am) filled with guilt about leaving my little beauty but she loves her nursery (she's 2.2) now and I honestly believe she's much more advanced than she would have been if she was at home with me all the time. I really, really envy and admore the SOHMs. Combining some work with staying at home seemes the ideal solution. I hope you find it all works out brilliantly for you both.

Sorry, meant admire SOHMs not admore!

Maybe you could try the 8-6 and see how lo gets on? Ds went 3 days a week from 7.30-3pm which suited us well, then when a bit older (3) he was going til 6pm.

My DD was in nursery full-time from 18m old 8am-6pm (or 5:30 if I was lucky). She did 3 days a week from 6m-18m, then I had to go full-time.

DS also went for full days, but only 3 days per week.

It's not ideal, but if you have a fantastic nursery it makes it easier, and they both found the transition to school very easy.

My ds started nursery at 11mo, 2 days a week, and I drop him around 8 and pick up at 5.55. He tends to fall asleep on the 10-min walk home so I leave him for 15 min or so before waking him for a bit of quiet play and getting ready for bed.

He's loving nursery (3 months on) and seems to really like the last 30 min when it's only a few children. He's having so many fun experiences that he'd never get at home (gardening, crawling in custard, organised music).

I've had one day when I've managed to get him to nursery before calling in sick, and one where I took a day off work for my birthday and left him at nursery. Both were great.

Hello,
we have had similar arrangement for our 2 year old dd who started nursery at 9 mths.

She is shattered when she gets home and usually has a longer nap the day after but it is a good 'had fun' worn out.

They have lots of meal/snack tmes and down times so that the kids are resting as well as playing. DD has never slept very well at ursery and after going in and being with her at nursery to see what its like etc this seems to be becasue she is too excited and engaged to sleep!

On days she's been at nusery I'm usually tired from work too so don't mind that we come home to a simple sandwich, eaten on a tray in front of Thomas the tanks engine, the have half an hour or so of play and cuddles before bedtime.

Are your 2 days one after the other or spread over the week?

Also: nursery rocks! hey do loads of stuff we couldn;t manage at home, meet other kids, become very sociable and...

...my favourite thing....

dd is in a christmas nativity this year...

my girls were in nursery 3 days a week from about 7 months, around 9ish to 5.30ish and when they went to school (08.50-3.25) they both SWORE it was a longer day

as long as it's the kind of environment where they are happy to take your own views and child's needs on board I really wouldn't fret about this - it's going to be harder for you than your ds, xxx

picking up at 4pm will probably be more disruptive (to both of you) than later. At 4pm nursery children are usually having tea and then they get into the post-tea routine of story time etc so you are almost better off waiting until that is out of the way - my ds went to nursery full time from 6 mths (he is now at school) and I found that the ideal time to pick up was around 5.15ish - any earlier and he complained that he wasn't ready, much later and he would be overtired. Anything that makes you less frazzled will help too as if you rush in at 4pm worn out and stressed and then try to get tea/bed etc it might be worse than picking up an already fed child a bit later.

personally i would do the 4pm pick up if poss. but that's just me

i don[t doubt that all the kids who are in 8-6 are fine, but i just couldn't leave mine in that long if i knew it was possible to collect them earlier

I work in a nursery and would go for the earlier pick up too.
In our baby unit all the babies have eaten by 4.
If you want to spend time with your baby when he is awake then pick him up at 4.
If you want to take him home and put him straight to bed, then pick him up at 6.
Also, if you increase your days at work, the pressure will be on you to do extra days at the same hours. Before you know it, he will be doing 5 days a week from 8 till 6.

Thanks everyone - very interesting!

For what it's worth, a nursery near work isn't an option - we live in nice quiet leafy suburbs, where his nursery is, and I work in central (very central!) London, commuting by train. I've arranged it so that he goes to a lovely nursery within walking distance of the local station.

Having worked out that I can just about pick him up at 4 at a tight push and a bit of 'flexible working', I will next have conversations with the nursery and my boss to see what they think. If it turns out that a 4pm pick up will be disruptive in terms of the nursery schedule (thanks - never considered that!) I'll think again.