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are DHs doing nursery drops and pick ups more antisocial than mums?

7 replies

mrsbaldwin · 05/11/2009 17:31

A (slightly) humourous nursery thread...

So, there I am, dropping off DS at the baby room in the mornings. I know the names of all the other babies in the room and if a parent comes in (and it's not too rushed) I say hello and say I am DSs mum.

The response to this from the other mums is always very nice (so far) - hello, how nice to meet you etc. We even went to the park with another baby and his mum last week.

But DHs seem to be a different prospect. Let's say a baby has arrived with a DH, whilst I am dropping off and I know the baby's name.
"Hello, X," I may say to the baby. The DH then looks at me blankly, dumps child on carpet or in a little seat, possibly grunts and then leaves.

If I attempt the 'hello I'm X's mum' routine with DHs I find I also get the blank look and some kind of mumble.

My own DH is just as bad as the others I think (although obviously I'm never there to witness his pick up times). He doesn't know the names of any of the other babies and only two of the NNs and I honestly don't think it has so far occurred to him to ask anyone's name he doesn't already know.

So what are people's theories about this? Do men feel out of their depth or unmanly when they're in the baby room, are they in a rush to get to work, are they crap in the mornings, are they congenitally poor communicators (or the other explanation of course which is that it's very frightening to have me saying hello to them ) ...

OP posts:
MumGoneCrazy · 05/11/2009 17:37

My DP is the same, he drops the kids off or picks them up and the people he talks to the whole time are the 2 kids or the teacher if needs be, he's just not a very big talker and hates striking up a conversation with people he dont know.

Although if someone else started the conversation he would reply but probably only to be polite not because he actually wants a conversation

MumGoneCrazy · 05/11/2009 17:38

Meant to read "and the only people he talks to"

CMOTdibbler · 07/11/2009 20:29

To be honest, when DS was in the baby room I only knew the names of a couple of the babies, and its only really since he's been in preschool that I can name most of the regulars.

But DH certainly says hello to people - some just to make a point with the v anti social parents (I get the impression from some that they see nursery as somewhere their child goes, and don't want that to extend to any further social interaction by their child or them).

cat64 · 07/11/2009 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

dontrunwithscissors · 07/11/2009 20:45

My experience is that the DH's are far more likely to say hello than Mums. I cetainly know my DH would chat to another Mum/Dad who struck up a conversation. To be honest, though, neither of us has ever spoken to another parent beyond hello - it just doesn't seem to be something people do there.

lovelymama · 08/11/2009 19:08

Good topic! My DH is a very friendly, outgoing person and would always be responsive if someone talked to him at nursery but would never initiate a conversation with a mum - I think mainly because he'd be worried that she would think he was coming on to her. Of course, any mother picking up their child wouldn't think this but I guess it's just how some men think...

I am on a hello/how are things going/fancy walking home together basis with many on the mums in DS's nursery, but DH wouldn't dream of it....

mrsbaldwin · 10/11/2009 17:40

How interesting to read these replies!

Lovelymama - the awful thought has now crossed my mind that maybe these DHs I have been saying hello to think I am coming on to them

This hadn't occurred to me before as for morning drop off I sometimes show up in a sick-stained tracksuit not of a sexual nature - tee hee.

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