Miffed with dd's nursery :-(

[CountessDracula]

Maybe I am being oversensitive, but today our p/t nanny who picks dd up from nursery told me that they had told her (ie the nanny) that they had decided to start potty training dd next week and that she should come in with lots of changes of clothes etc.

Now firstly I think it is surely OUR decision when dd's potty training starts, not theirs. Secondly they should talk to dh or I, not dd's nanny about it if they have taken this unilateral decision to potty train her.

As it happens she has suffered from constipation for quite a while, she is 2 and 8 months and I have been trying on and off to get her to wee or poo in a potty or on the loo and she refuses. I have an appt to see a paediatrician about her constipation at the end of the month and I was going to discuss all this with him/her and see what I can do further to address the constipation prior to starting the potty training. I don't want them jumping in and forcing her when she isn't ready and making matters worse.

All of which the nursery would have known had they bothered to ask dh or me.

Ooh, I think they are way out of order!

would be fuming! no way should they take something like that upon themselves. i would speak to them asap and inform them she is your dd and it is therefore your decision. what a cheek!!

I agree with everyone!! They should defo have talked to you about this first!!! Sorry, I am new to mumsnet so I don't know your situation....do they have an opportunity to talk to you during the week or does your nanny do all pick ups etc?

CD how appaling!! Surely this would break their confidentiality policy! Having worked as an assistant manager in a nursery i would find this completely unacceptable. Does your DD move up to a different room when she turns 3? At my nursery they said that they wouldn't accept "non potty trained" children up from the 2-3's until they were trained! However when i took over the running of the 3-5's i scrapped that rule, each child is individual and it is up to the nursery to cooperate with the parents with their wishes. Whatever happened to "partnership with parents policy"!!!! Sorry for ranting but this really annoys me, you have every right to complain!

they should have talked to you, but if they think she is ready it might be worth going with the flow for a bit... my dd was super-keen to go to the loo at nursery as she had seen the bigger girls in her class going.Your dd may be refusing at home because she sees no reason to try! For the first few days dd was going every time someone else went, but it meant she had virtually no accidents and was very pleased with herself.

As for the constipation, well that shouldn't hold her back; if she can manage to wee on a potty/ toilet at nursery, she may just decide that pooing is simple as well.

I do agree that sometimes children do do things different at nursery from home but i think its awful they spoke to the nanny not the parents.

i agree

I agree too.

I have to say I slavishly followed my childminder's orders about potty-training DD1 ('right, that's it, we're doing it') but we have a very different relationship than one with a nursery.

CD It seems strange that the nursery would do this. I would be miffed at this.

HOwever, I would go with the flow now. Maybe they have observed that she wants to go to the toilet at nursery after copying the other children. I just started DS (same age as your DD) 2 weeks ago. He is doing great at nursery but has more accidents at home.

I do think it is strange that they didn't talk to you about it first though. hmm

Oh good I thought maybe I was being unreasonable. I will have a word with them in the morning. It's not that I don't trust our nanny to look after dd in every way, I just feel that it is us that the nursery should be consulting (not telling!) about important things like this.