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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Tears at settling in session and 1st full day tomorrow...

12 replies

Montifer · 16/09/2009 13:59

...they were DS's (15 months) tears, but think they could be mine tomorrow.

He was very happy at 1st settling in yesterday when I stayed with him and equally happy for the 1st hour today.

I then left him for an hour and he sobbed when I came to pick him up
He was playing quite happily when I arrived, but was puffy eyed and the carer said he had had a few 'outbursts', but was distractable.
He is usually a very happy child and rarely cries.
He will be doing 0800-1700 tomorrow and again on friday.

I know this is relatively normal and thought I would be pragmatic about it all; but now I am feeling quite sad and know that tomorrow I will be worried that he is in a relatively unfamiliar place and probably crying for me on and off throughout the day.

Am wondering if I can ask his Dad to work a half day tomorrow or should we just get the 1st full day out of the way?

Anyone there for some hand holding?

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titfertat · 16/09/2009 14:03

it's really hard - sorry

DD1 startes nursery at 12 months and the first month was tough. after that however, something clicked and she's loved it ever since

I don't think a half day will help really - you just have to take the plunge. good luck!

titfertat · 16/09/2009 14:04

started, not startes

Smalline · 16/09/2009 14:08

I remember going through the exact same thing 8 years ago with my son, is ds your first child? I only ask because second time around it was a lot easier for me. I think you just have to be strong the first couple of days and he will eventually get used to it, knowing that you are always coming back for him.

Original poster

Montifer · 16/09/2009 14:44

Thanks.

We will take the plunge and hope he settles in really quickly.
He's only going to be at nursery on thursdays and fridays so I anticipate it might take a while to settle in - I think a 5 day gap is a long time in the world of a 15 month old.

Yes, DS is PFB, can you tell?

OP posts:

Tombliboobs · 16/09/2009 15:04

TBH, I would go for his Dad picking him up if all he has done is visit with you once, and then stay for 2 hours today, only 1 hour being on his own. A half day if he is unsettled is enough.

Also i think you will feel better for knowing it is only half a day. I feel for you, must be very difficult.

Original poster

Montifer · 16/09/2009 15:37

Despite my resolve to 'take the plunge' my gut feeling is to go with the 1/2 day, although I don't want to prolong the misery for DS.

TBH my gut feeling is to give up work and be a SAHM, but that's not really an option and I do usually enjoy my job [grin through gritted teeth]

I think he should have lunch there, he loves food, so that will be a very positive part of his experience
He'll be pretty exhausted by sleep time after lunch so perhaps they should try and settle him and DP could ring at 1400 and see how it's going.

I get the impression nursery will say it's fine and to stick it out.
They did say that thursday is their busiest day so am thinking a 1/2 day would be better tomorrow and he could try a full day when there is more hopefully opportunity for a bigger share of the carer's attention.

Sorry for the waffling, but it's helping my PFB anxiety

OP posts:

Sunshinemummy · 16/09/2009 15:45

Montifer DS went to nursery from 7m and was fine at his first one. We moved him at 14m (as we moved house) and he was at the age where is was really awful. He cried and cried for 6 weeks. Then 'poof' just settled in. He's now 3.5 and he loves it and so do we. It's so tough at first, you just have to hang in there.

Tombliboobs · 16/09/2009 16:03

Sounds like a good plan to get DH to ring, but only if you think they will be honest. tell them that you expect them to be, they should be honest and not let your DS be unnecessarily upset when your DH is able to pick up. Just see tomorrow as an extra settling in session.

Original poster

Montifer · 16/09/2009 20:20

Thanks all.

Fingers crossed for a happy day tomorrow (and friday)

OP posts:

Tombliboobs · 17/09/2009 19:16

How did your DS get on Montifer?

Hope he (and you!) had a better day.

Original poster

Montifer · 17/09/2009 19:30

Thanks for asking Tombliboobs, think I probably had a more traumatic day than him

He ran in very excited this morning, straight to the toys, no fuss when I left.

I managed to hold off phoning until 1330 and apparently he'd had a mixed morning, playing happily in between tearful moments.
He had slept for 2 hours and scoffed his lunch.

DP collected him at 1500, as we decided an early finish on his 1st day was a good idea, apparently he was quite content when DP arrived.

He is quite manic this evening though, clambering around like a loon, don't know what they've been teaching him at nursery!!

So could have been worse and hopefully he'll go in happily again tomorrow.
Will probably have forgotten all about it by the time next thursday comes around!

OP posts:

Tombliboobs · 17/09/2009 19:45

That sounds like a good day!

It's a really good sign that he slept well, had his lunch and especially that he seemed content when your DP arrived.

Hopefully tomorrow will be even better for him and you will feel better for knowing he was better today.

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