Meltdowns after nursery

[cockles]

Is this really common, or a sign my child's not happy? Ds is 3.7, has been at same nursery since 1,does two days a week of 7-8 hours, and when he gets back home is just so bad tempered and cross - often endless rows til bedtime. I know it's a hard transition, but I can't think how to make it easier for him. He's about to start a third day (not consecutively) and I'm wondering whether this will help with adjustments (the other days he is at home with one of us) - or not. Any thoughts? Thanks!

My 2.5 DD is always terrible after nursery. She bounds out quite happily telling me about her day, but it all disintegrates by the time we get to the car, and she can be a complete sobbing wreck whilst I try and cook dinner. Having a 10 minute cuddle in front of some wind-down TV does help and then I just try and keep her distracted in the kitchen until DP gets home - he then takes her in the garden which always keeps her quiet.

I think they expend a great deal of energy at nursery, and are often on best-behaviour (how do the carers do it?). Seems only natural that on getting home they have to let something slide. Also you are a 'safe' person for them to vent at, it's only in the secure knowledge of your love and support that they can relax and let their tension and frustration out. It is really difficult though.

he is probably tired/over stimulated

maybe gave some quiet time or a calming bath when he gets in?

Sounds very familiar - my DS has gone through phases like this. I don't think you can just cure it, he's expressing his tiredness and frustration in a fairly normal way for that - you have to sit it out! But a few tips that have helped me -

• a substantial snack at pick-up time - like a flapjack - DS is often really hungry and can't wait for tea, and that can be a temper trigger. If it's healthy just think of it as part of his tea.

• a treat or distraction eg promising we'll go to the swings on the way home, or taking his scooter/bike so he can ride home (obviously only if suitable for your nursery trip...)

• at home, let him really chill - nothing wrong with half an hour of calming telly IMO, or read books. My DS likes to grab his comfort blanket when we get in and collapse on the sofa. After nursery I often give him a snack tea like crackers, cheese and fruit instead of a proper meal, it's fun and less formal when he's tired.

oops I meant "for that age"

Thanks - yes, calming time would be good - of course I am always trying to make dinner at the same time. Maybe tv is the way forward.