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Feeling really upset about dd going to nursery

3 replies

goingnowherefast · 12/08/2009 12:27

I know this has probably been done before on here but I am going back to work half time and dd is going to nursery, we looked around lots before we found one we were happy with but I am just dreading it. She's such a happy thing but quite clingy to me and I can't bear the thought of leaving her. It's only just hit me. She's 16 months. How do I know they will be loving to her and comfort her enough? What if she hates it, how can I leave her there? I have no choice not to work though. I feel so guilty and worried.

OP posts:
greeneyedg1rl · 12/08/2009 14:33

I had a hard time letting my DD go to nursery, too. She was 12 months old when I went back to work and the guilt I felt was enormous.

From my experience, you should be able to tell if your child is happy to be at the nursery. If she is anything like mine, she will cling to you like a limpet when you drop her off and howl crying when you pick her up. This doesn't mean that she hasn't been perfectly happy in between times!! You might also find that she marches into the nursery from Day 1 leaving her stunned mother, open-mouthed, at the door

My dd was at a very good nursery that had happy staff - there was an atmosphere of happiness. Then it changed hands and the atmosphere changed. You could tell that the staff were unhappy and that left me feeling uneasy.

If you are uncertain in any way, I would say to drop in at the nursery at times when they are not expecting you. A good nursery will also not get uptight if you ring up to check that your dd is ok.

Mummywannabe · 12/08/2009 21:35

Oh goingnowherefast, it will be ok. My Ds started nursery in March (1 day) and took quiet some time to settle but seems to have finally got it.

Give it a few weeks and you will sort of enjoy your own time, even though i don't think you ever truly get over feeling a bit guilty (think that comes with being a mummy).

Hugs to you.

kateGB · 12/08/2009 21:46

It is the hardest thing in the world to do! I have 2 DD,s, One started school just as the second started nursery - double trauma!

Both have had ups and downs. Somedays they went in singing and dancing, other days they have to be peeled off me.

Choose a nursery that in your heart of hearts you feel will be OK (in your real heart of hearts we all know none of them are!)

I chose mine because when I went to visit, there were toys all over the place and the kids seemed genuinely happy. The staff had been there a long time - it had a good "feel" to it.

If something really is wrong with the place you will know from the staff turnover and from other parents you will meet at drop off time.

There were times when I dropped one or the other off and have sat in the car and cried, But the reality is we have no choice financially but for me to work.

I also know that both of them really enjoy and enjoyed it and it has done them good.

DD1 has gone back for holiday club this holiday and still loves it and the staff!

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