Starting to settle DS in nursery before going back to work. Feel really sad.

[Wigglesworth]

I go back to work next week after 10 months maternity leave and I am settling DS in nursery at moment. I am leaving him for an hour today and I just feel so desperately sad about it all. I feel guilty and sick at the thought of leaving him. The nursery is lovely and I am happy with it but I just feel dreadful, almost like I am abandoning him.
I may be being a bit PFBish and soft and I know it's probs normal to feel like this at first but I just don't want to spend my first few weeks back at work in tears thinking about him. Did anyone else feel like this, does it get better, please help me feel better about it all.

londonboots - I was exactly the same after my second session too! Was trying to work out how I could possibly not go back to work.
But after 4 sessions now I can see she is getting better each time and think she is going to get to the point of really enjoying it soon. I didn't get upset at all last time and when I peeped through the window could see she was happily playing. She cried when she saw me but I guess that's their way of expressing strong emotion at that age.. she soon stopped and got excited again once I picked her up!
She has her first full day next week, I am at work today but DH has got the day off to look after her so it's not all happening on the same day.

I like how we're all starting back at work just in time to catch the bank holiday

I was exactly the same when DS1 started at nursery when he was 6.5 months old - that was over 2 years ago and he settled without any problems and he has blossomed so much in that time - I can't really take much credit for all his knowledge/social skills. Even though I am currently on mat leave, DS1 still goes to nursery 4 days a week as usual - which is something I would not have even considered when I was dropping him off for the first time.

I remember my first day back at work, I held it together until I got back in the car and then cried all the way to work

But it does get much easier, I promise

Just wanted to pick up on what Clothaddict said - I truly believe that it is easier to settle a much younger baby than it is when they are between 8-12 months - but, because of the maternity leave now that is the most common time for babies to start nursery. For this reason, I am starting DS2 in nursery 1 day a week when he will be 7 months old (even though I am not going back to work for a couple of months after that) just so the settling-in process is easier. Plus I am hoping the fact his big brother is in the next room and can always go and give him his usual smother a cuddle will help this time round.

I think the age does play a part but also its just down to temperament.

My ds went to nursery at 7-8 months and took ages to settle but he was always quite hard to soothe and quite unsettled generally.

My dd, on the other hand, is very sociable and amiable and seems to have taken to it very easily [touches fake wood office desk]but then she has always been happy to be held by a multitude of strangers.

Sorry it took me so long to come back. I am back at work now, leaving DS the first day I went to work was awful, I cried as soon as I got in the car, held it together at work and cried on the way home again . It is getting easier though and DS seems to be settling in at nursery. He is pulling himself up on stuff now (not sure if thats a good thing, the house will be wrecked I'm sure).
Work is so strange and lonely, all my friends have left (including DH) or are on maternity leave and we have been told we could be made redundant too, welcome back Wigglesworth.

How is it going?

I feel the settling at nursery has slowly got easier. My DS now settles within 5 mins (so they tell me, he cries when I am there at the start). But today he walked in to the room himself and not as much of a fuss at me going away, and yesterday when picked up I watched him before he realised I was there and he was playing away really happily humming away to himself. So I feel a lot happier. Hope you all do too.

Hi Cloth, he has settled in really well actually. He never cries when I drop him off and always seems pleased to see the girls in his room (although not as pleased as when he sees me or DH when we come to collect him ).
He has come on leaps and bounds too, he is cruising round the furniture now and loves finger foods (not keen on being fed with a spoon now though) and he has started to clap his hands and gives us a kiss when we ask him for one. Ahhh gush gush.