Nursery concerns - am I over-reacting?

[lovelymama]

I am quite possibly over-reacting because I have been known to be a little overprotective of DS but I need someone to put this in perspective so I can either chill out or do something about it.

DS (10.5 months) has had a very good settling in session at a local nursery. I had mostly good feelings about the place and the staff seem lovely and DS has always been happy when I have dropped him off/picked him up. He has just spent his 2nd full day there and when he came home tonight, his nappy was quite heavily wet so I changed it. In the creases of his lovely chubby legs where they meet his bum, there was quite a lot of poo (sorry for TMI!). I was quite shocked as I'm always so careful when changing his nappy.

As an isolated incident I could just deal with it by mentioning it to the nursery staff, which I could easily do. It's just that there are a few other niggles....they won't serve beef because of BSE concerns ( i don't have a problem with them not serving it) but they gave DS hot dogs (as in the tinned ones from what i understand) for tea. bizarre?!
Also, the sleep area is really light as the curtains are pretty much see through - a bit of lining would make it a little darker and more conducive to sleep. It means that DS is only taking a short nap and he's knackered when he gets home.

I know that re the curtain thing I should have picked up on this when I visited the nursery, but DS had only just been born when I chose the nursery, which I had to do so early due for competition for places where we live, and I didn't really think of it.

I want to give the nursery a good go and I understand that no childcare will every match the care that a mother can give her child, but does your nursery provide a better service than this? Also, do you think I should just see how things pan out and then have a word with the manager?

Thanks for any help received!

I would certainly complain about the poo - sounds horrible
Not sure what you mean with the hot dog thing (no beef in them presumably) and as for the curtains, I guess you could offer to line them but perhaps he will get used to the lighter room? It's good that he has settled well though

I don't think you are over reacting. I would be the same.
The nappy thing would annoy me the most. Doing without beef isn't such a hardship, however eating crap sausages from a tin would annoy me too- practically dog food!

Perhaps keep an eye on the nappy problem. If it happens one more time, report it the next day- that's not good enough that they don't change the nappies regularly. Rashes can develop, not to mention discomfort to your DS. If it was a special needs nursery or nursing home, it would be an offense to not change the nappy.

Have a word with the manager if you are still niggled in a few weeks- but I would say something about the nappy if it happens again

I do think you should mention the nappy thing the next time he goes. That is unacceptable.

I have found that, unfotunately, neither of my DSes have slept well at nursery and are always shattered at the end of a day there. The light curtains probably don't help but he may not sleep any better even if they were darker. Maybe you could ask them to try to get him to have another nap later on in the day?

I know what you mean about the tinned hot dogs. Vile! Is it a one off or is the food generally of a low standard?

My DS's nursery generally has really good food - for example, for lunch, he would have rice salad, sweet and sour chicken, cake and custard or yoghurt etc. For tea, it's generally sandwiches or pasta (something fairly light and easy I suppose) with another dessert or yoghurt. Occasionally, he might have spaghetti hoops (which I assume is from a tin) and toast for his tea and initially I was a bit shocked at that but to be honest, I feed that to him very, very rarely so I think a once-in-a-while kind of occasion for a crap tea is forgiveable as overall, I think DS eats better than DH and I!

When I chose DS's nursery, I specifically chose one with a separate sleep room and dark as well as I knew DS would have little chance of sleeping otherwise... I would ask them if they would consider lining the curtains, it doesn't hurt to ask. I don't think it's an unreasonable request though it might not help things! DS will sleep for anything from half an hour to 1.5 hours in nursery (most days, it's half an hour!). It can't be help sometimes, there is too much going on for them!

The poo is an issue though, I would definitely raise that with the nursery, that's just basic hygiene!

The nappy thing is worth raising. That sort of thing shouldnt happen.
Are you sure that the hot dogs had meat in them? You can get vegetarian hot dogs that look very like the meat ones.

Thanks for quick replies everyone. I will raise the poo thing tomorrow as that is my main concern.

The food is generally good there - they post the menus on the wall in the cloakroom so we can see what they are having. All food is made on site and they have fruit and veg at every meal so you're right bristols, the occasional crap meal won't kill him but I wouldn't touch a hot dog with a shitty stick so i certainly don't want my son eating them.

as for the curtains, maybe i'll just have to get over that one - who knows, it could make DS more adaptable. I guess I just want to feel at ease when he starts going there 5 days a week when I go back to work. The guilt I'm feeling about leaving him is already massive and I think if the nursery was just a little better I'd feel happier.

Thanks again all

I had problems with poor nappy changing in childcare as well, and things have been a lot better since I mentioned it. Whether they hadn't noticed, or whether they are now just much more careful because they know that I'm looking out for this I don't know, but like you I found it unacceptable - and actually upsetting (touches a nerve with the whole 'should I be leaving my child' guilt trip!). If you don't say anything, they'll assume you are happy.

My LO eats like a queen most of the time, although sometimes some odd stuff does appear on the menu. But if I did all the food, I expect the carpet would appear more appetising than what is on the plate.

On the curtain thing - yes, it might be a problem, but could also be to do with the noise from other babies, or just not wanting to sleep in a strange place. I'd start with the poo issue. That seems a more urgent battle!

very true hedgehog - DS won't really eat at home but apparently eats well at nursery. I don't think my spinach pasta is quite to his taste!

i just need to chill out a bit i think. i always said i wouldn't be an obsessive/controlling parent but i'm turning in to that.....oh no!

update on poo thing - mentioned it to his teacher when i dropped DS off at nursery this morning. I said it in a nice way. She looked a little shocked but just said she'd keep an eye on it so I feel happy that i've raised the issue.

I think most nurseries give the odd 'trash' meal every now and again. As you said, they could never do as good a job as Mummy! Hope you got on OK with them today regarding the poo.

We have no curtains in our 'sleep room' the children sleep for up to two hours in their with no problem, and can also sleep through lots of different noises, I think not all nurseries can provide dark and or quiet rooms, if you know your taking your child to a nursery you should try and get them into the routine of sleeping in a lighter room and with the radio on slightly this can help them sleep through most things at nursery