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Nurseries

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Original poster

When did name calling become OK???

19 replies

m0nkeynuts · 18/03/2009 10:04

DS has been anxious about going to nursery for the last week or so (he started in January and had been loving it up until recently).

So, today DH took him in and he was really nervous - didn't want to go in. Then one of the staff (who we've had issues with in the past, funnily enough!) shouted over to him "Stop being such a wimp"! When did name calling become acceptable???? I can't believe it.

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Twims · 18/03/2009 10:10

That is unnacceptalble and to be honest I would be calling the manager and making a complaint about the nursery nurses attitude towards a child - and explain that if she thinks this is acceptable in front of a parent, what does she think is acceptable when there is no parent there.

I was a nursery nurse/room leader and would be absolutely appalled if any member of staff spoke like this to a child and would be mentioning it to that member of staff and then the manager.

What other issues have you had with her.

nickytwotimes · 18/03/2009 10:12

Wimp is not acceptable in this context.
I would also be making a complaint.

Original poster

m0nkeynuts · 18/03/2009 10:21

I've just come off the phone with the Principal. I told her what the other woman had said and she'd laughed and said "Oh dear, I'm sorry", so I said "I really don't think it's acceptable" and she suddenly sounded serious and said "Oh - she wouldn't have meant it like that". I pointed out that DS wouldn't have recognised if she was joking or not and, even so, it's STILL not acceptable to call him a name! I said that we've actually had issues with her before (she ranted and raved one day VERY loudly & in front of DS at DS and my mum about the face he was still in pull-ups and she's generally been very critical and negative about him), so she's said she's going to look into it and call me be back.

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lljkk · 18/03/2009 10:24

Storm in a teacup, imho.

JeanPoole · 18/03/2009 10:28

that is horrible of the nursery nurse

good for ou for sticking up for him.

i think i remember that thread about her saying he's STILL in pull ups.

what is she doing working with kids ffs

nickytwotimes · 18/03/2009 10:29

lljkk, the kid is pre-school and is being called un unpleasant name by a figure of authority. Not nice and not professional. She could have said "Come on, don't be worried." or something.

compo · 18/03/2009 10:30

is she his key worker? If yes I'd definitely ask them to change his keyworker

MumOfAPickle · 18/03/2009 10:30

How old is your DS? I'm completely I'd be really upset, esp as your LO is clearly nervous about something.... When I was looking for a nursery, the most important thing was a warm, friendly, caring atmosphere. Would she be the same if he fell and hurt himself I wonder? Is he old enough for you to ask him what's up?

Twims · 18/03/2009 10:34

Is this an independent nursery or part of a chain as I am not impressed with the principles attitude either - laughing at the fact that 1 of her staff was rude to a child - unfortunatley often nurseries can be seen more as a money making bussiness (as seen from the inside) and they have to be reminded that if they can't work efficiently their custom will suffer.

If this is part of a chain I would write to the manager and ask for her to respond within 7 days in writing as to what she will be doing and cc this to head office.

Original poster

m0nkeynuts · 18/03/2009 10:38

He's 3 - turned 3 in December. He's been saying for the last week or so that he doesn't want to go to nursery - although he's also said to me that he just wants to go to a DIFFERENT nursery!

We don't have keyworkers here (in Scotland - at least, nobody's told me if we have keyworkers!), but I'm going to ask for her not to be directly involved with his care from now on.

I actually spent Monday morning's session with him at the nursery because he was so nervous. He settled down after a while with me being in the room and was wandering about by himself. Next thing, the staff member in question goes over to him and says very loudly "WHY didn't you come over to the gym with us?" and he instantly bolted over to me and hid his head! He's clearly not comfortable around her!

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Original poster

m0nkeynuts · 18/03/2009 10:39

Twims - it's a state nursery, part of a primary school

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Jux · 18/03/2009 10:54

I'd find another nursery. He's clearly scared of this woman and I wouldn't want her looking after my child.

wasabipeanut · 18/03/2009 10:58

I don't think its on at all - I'd be having words if I heard similar being said to my ds, or any of the kids in nursery for that matter.

Twims · 18/03/2009 11:15

Then you write with the CC to the local LEA think about moving him to a dif nursery/school as what happens when DS is older and being bullied they laugh it off just as quickly if they think it's funny that a nursery nurse is rude like that what else do they think is funny/ok?

MrsMattie · 18/03/2009 11:16

I wouldn't be happy about that. It's setting a really crappy example, isn't it?

TotalChaos · 18/03/2009 11:20

Agree with Jux. I'ld be looking at new nurseries, particularly as the nursery head didn't seem bothered about the name calling.

Original poster

m0nkeynuts · 18/03/2009 11:30

MrsMattie - It is a really crappy example, isn't it?! That's what made it almost unbelievable - that they'd actually do something that normally they'd be discouraging CHILDREN from doing!

The Principle is supposed to be getting back to me at some point, so I'll see what she comes back with before I decide what will happen next.

I'm so angry and disappointed

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PinkTulips · 18/03/2009 11:35

what a horrible woman

if dd is having a funny morning and being clingy her teachers come over and ask her for a cuddle and make a fuss of her to entice in. they might gently tease her about 'being a mummy's girl this morning are you [dd]' but it's said with a smile and if one of them called her a name i'd be horrified.

i'd definitely look into changing nurseries, the principals lack of concern id even more worrying than the daft woman calling him a name in the first place tbh

canttouchthis · 28/04/2009 19:46

M0nkeynuts, that's such a sad reflection of the nursery and their approach at helping kids settle in. Your poor son must be put off after this has happened, no wonder

Did you manage to get the issue resolved and get an official apology from the Principal? Have you managed to find your DS a new nursery? Let us know how you get on.

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