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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

This has bothered me.

17 replies

LynetteScavo · 16/03/2009 13:33

But maybe it shouldn't

When I collected DD from nursery at lunch time tehre was a little boy of 2 or 3 who was crying. Not bawling, but doing big breaths like somone who'd been crying for a while. He was saying he wanted his mummy and looking hopefully at the door every time the door bell rang.

I had a little chat with him and said mummy would come later(English isn't his first language so I'm not sure if he understood),and asked DD to give him a hug, which she did.

When I signed DD out, I noticed this boy was in niursery today from 8am-6pm. I'm feeling really for him. I'm inclined to phone the nursery to see if he's OK, or mention it to the manager in the morning.

What do you think?

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Sexonlegs · 16/03/2009 13:36

It is difficult, as I see this sometimes at dd2's nursery, but then, we only see a snippet of what goes on the whole day. Some dc get sad when other parents come and take their own dc home, and may be perfectly happy the rest of the time.

It is up to you tbh, but I am sure the staff will be aware, but can of course only offer a cuddle so mnay times due to the other children requiring attention.

beanieb · 16/03/2009 13:38

pretty sure the staff will be aware. He is perhaps missing his mum and will get used to being there I am sure.

tiggerlovestobounce · 16/03/2009 13:39

Im not sure that the nursery should pass out information about other children, and probably they know how long he is in the nursery for.
I think that there is some sort of OFSTED/care commission? recommendation that children should not be in childcare for more than 9 hours a day.
That being said you have only seen a few minutes of that boys day, hopefully the rest of it was better.

Original poster

LynetteScavo · 16/03/2009 13:41

You are right - I saw him for less than 60 second, and he is such a cutie - I just wanted to take him home with me.

OP posts:

HuwEdwards · 16/03/2009 13:52

Lynette, are you hormonal?

MarlaSinger · 16/03/2009 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarlaSinger · 16/03/2009 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ummadam · 16/03/2009 15:29

That could be my little boy (except english will hopefully be his first language when he bothers to speak )

He is at nursery from 7.30 to 18.15 on one day and slightly shorted days on 2 days a week. I don't like it but it is best for our family (only other option is me being SAHM which we couldn't afford). He wails when I leave and he wails when I go to collect him. He gets very upset at home time when other people go home and he is still there. The rest of the day he is in his element, dashing around, cuddling all the carers (who make a huge fuss of him)eats everything in sight and has a fab time. I have the nursery pictures and reports from people who pick their children up earlier and he is always laughing and babbling when I phone or turn up unexpectedly).

You sound lovely and very well intentioned but you only have a glimpse of the full picture. Hug your DD and count your blessings that you get to pick her up and cuddle her earlier than his mummy does. I bet she really misses him too.

fruitstick · 16/03/2009 15:35

DS's friend at nursery is like this but only at home time when all the parents start drifting in from around 5. Everytime the door opens she wants it to be her mummy - but is perfectly happy the rest of the day.

TracyK · 16/03/2009 15:38

I think that was one of the reasons why my old nursery had the rule of mums and dads waiting in the hallway and a member of staff brought their child out to them. They said the other kids got upset when they saw it wasn't their mum or dad.

Hopefully he'll be better tomorrow - peek in the door before you go in and see if he's ok.

PinkTulips · 16/03/2009 15:54

in the creche my dd used to go to there was a little girl who started and cied all day for day until she settled. she was also a non-english speaker and there from 8-5.

but a member of staff held her all day and cuddled her and helped her play with the other kids and she was never in all that time just left on her own crying so yes, what you saw would have really bothered me tbh.

purepurple · 16/03/2009 18:01

sorry to break it to you but children do cry at nurseries
some do it more than others
and I am sure the staff there are aware he was crying

Original poster

LynetteScavo · 16/03/2009 22:04

Just to clarify - I'm not that he is in nursery from 8-6pm (actually it might be only 9-4, but the nursery would record it as a full day untill parents sign otherwise)

I've never known my own children to cry because they a genuinely sad - just when they are hurt or angry. I know the staff were busy, but this little guy needed a hug

In the morning I'm going to say to the manager "X seems happier today" to point out that I noticed he wasn't yesterday.(She was on her lunch break at the time.) I know the staff were busy, but this little guy needed a hug.

OP posts:

purepurple · 17/03/2009 07:23

LS, you only saw him for a moment, you have interpreted his crying at being sad that his mummy wasn't coming to collect him.
What if he had just been told off for something like hitting another child or some other bad behaviour?
He would cry then and be upset and just maybe that was why he wasn't getting a cuddle?

You don't really know all the facts and have just made assumptions.
If you where to spend all day in a nursery you would find that children crying is a normal occurence.

Original poster

LynetteScavo · 17/03/2009 17:02

Awww... purepuple you have made me

Do litle children really get so told off for hitting at nursery that they sob and sob? If so no wonder he wanted his mum.

He wasnt't there today, so I couldn't say anything. Maybe he was feeling under the weather yesterday.

Honestly, he is the cutest little boy ever.... big brown eyes and chubby cheeks, he really melted my heart.

OP posts:

willowthewispa · 17/03/2009 21:19

Yes, children do cry at nursery - some get told off and sob and sob, some miss their mums, some just struggle with the whole nursery experience and cry for a good part of the day, every day.

cookielove · 03/05/2009 19:02

yes children cry at nursery for being told off, a child the other day cried cause i said no, nothing else. Just his name and no i didn't even move him away from the the activity, he looked at me and burst into tears, children cry all the time at nursery. Now i bet your wondering if i gave him a hug

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