16m/o still crying on drop off at nursery after 8 weeks, advice please!

[bondgirl77]

Have posted on here before about my 16-month-old DS not eating at nursery - this problem has now resolved itself as he has moved up to a toddler room with older children and now seems happy to eat.

However, even though he sleeps, plays happily and eats now there, he is still crying when I drop him off. This weekend we went to view a house we are buying, and it's the home of one of the children in his group at nursery, as soon as he saw the child he started a panicked, hysterical type of crying (complete with retching!). He was overdue a nap at the time and did this again yesterday when overtired on seeing his grandad come in - who he is very familiar and comfortable with. He did it this morning when I dropped him off at nursery and the nursery staff were really surprised. Up until now the tears on drop-off have been reducing, but I was really concerned at his reaction this morning and it worries me that he still cries when I drop him off. Nursery staff said they had never seen a child do this before!

Anyone else had a LO that took ages to settle at nursery? Do some children always cry when they are dropped off? Could it be a development stage or something?

I went with a trial session with ds today to his nursery where dd is already at. One of the children was crying and I was told that she does this every time for about half an hour till she realises that all the other children are getting on and playing and having fun. She was crying for quite a while (but going through problems at home to), however the 2 other boys i've seen crying when i drop dd off stop as soon as parents are out of sight.

I've always seen over the last 2 years some children cry when parents drop them off and use it as a weapon to keep the parents there and get attention.

I've know other kids who do create a problem with being sick etc and all the parents have done to stop it eventually is tidy it up without making a fuss or discussing it with the child and then it's slowly stopped. Perhaps don't over give on the attention when he does it and see how he reacts. Is he really upset or does it stop if he gets your attention.

I think your DS will stop eventually but you're not on your own and as long as he isn't hurting there isn't much else to do.

Perhaps this is jut his clingy stage, they all have it at some point.

My ds took ages to settle in nursery. The settling in sessions went on for ever, and even when he was settled in he cried on drop off for months. He settled quickly according to the staff and friends dropping off their lo's after us.
General advice on here at the time seemed to be some children do this for longer than others.

He also went through a more clingy stage at the beginning, whereby every toddler group i took him to, or friends house i visited, he burst into tears, presumably thinking it was nursery. It settled with reassurance and time.

I found it really stressful and upsetting at the time, so you have my sympathies, but it did get better. (Promise!)

Hth.

ok - how long does he cry for when you have gone?

do you say goodbye and see you later or just leave?

Am slightly surprised at the nursery staff being surprised ... tears are fairly usual

DS went through a phase of crying when he was around 18/20 months after months of being dry eyed

Thank you all for your advice and help! missorinoco that sounds like exactly what he did when we arrived at the house on Saturday - maybe he saw the little girl from nursery and thought I was leaving him there! I always drop him off and leave quickly, smiling and saying 'bye bye, have a lovely day, mummy will see you later' but I must say that perhaps I did transmit my anxiety/surprise at the first episode of this hysterical-type crying which I suppose he must have picked up on, plus I probably made a show of it this morning by asking the staff about it. I will try not to react if he does it tomorrow. Usually he settles pretty quickly after I've gone but apparently he wasn't quite his usual sunny self this morning after I left but was asleep by 8.30, so must have been super-tired. Phoned at lunchtime and he'd been fine so I do feel a bit reassured.