Is this unreasonable?

[fifitot]

When went to pick dd up from nursery tonight I saw another one of the children being driven away by their parent, in the front seat on another adults knee - NOT in a car seat. I told the nursery nurse who agreed with me that it wasn't great but since it happened off the premises it wasn't something they'd get involved with.

I hadn't actually been suggesting that they address it, just sharing a concern but when she said that I was taken aback. Surely just cos something happens off the premises they can't really ignore it/ Makes me wonder how far this would go - i.e would they ignore a child getting hit etc as long as off site.

Anyway when she said this I said 'well it's sort of a child protection issue isn't it?' Nursery nurse seemed shocked and said she knew 'the child was loved' - which wasn't really my point but there you go.

I feel a bit embarassed at raising it tbh but I work in a statutory agency with key responsibilities for safeguarding so am quite clued up about procedures etc so may have been over zealous I suppose. I am one of those people who can't ignore stuff like this.

I just left it in the end but remain a bit concerned about a) the child being in the car like that - not expecting nursery to raise though I suppose and b) their laissez faire approach to child safety I guess.

What should I do if anything>

But what can they physically do?

Don't know really - raise it with the family next time they come, in a helpful way?

It's point b I am more concerned about - child safeguarding, is just that, safeguarding and given that they work directly with children, they should be clear what the approach is. Not say basically 'out of sight out of mind' I guess.

I don't know. DH thinks I'm a busy body who eexcels in pissing off the nursery!

i am sure the parents would know it is not safe, but are choosing, for wahtever reason to not use it

the nursery can't approach the parents

the best they could do is an item in the newsletter about car seat safety

i would not say anything unless it was in a chatty, indirect way and you know the parents

I think you may be being a bit unreasonable in assuming that, because they don't want to lecture parents on how to raise their children in their own time that this is a symbol of their own laissez-faire approach to child safety.

Don't get me wrong, I would be shocked by the parent's actions but it is not up to nursery to address it. If I was in your shoes I would phone the police, but then I am a busybody as well ;)

I don't think it is the nursery job to address it but raised it with them as it happened on my way in and was a bit shocked. I didn't really expect them to do anything I guess.

I suppose my real issue is the point the nursery nurse made about if it happens outside of the nursery then they ignore it. Just concerned at that as surely a concern for a child's welfare doesn't stop at the gate.

I do think the parents are idiots though and if I saw again I would ring police or approach them directly and probably not in a friendly chatty way either!!!

For the first time ever, I have some sympathy with the nursery nurse's pov. It's not great, and it's not legal, and I wouldn't do it myself - but it's really not child abuse...

I never said it was child abuse! I said it was a child safeguarding issue.

Safeguarding means general child welfare.

But it wouldn't be something that they would have to report from a legal child protection point of view. I'm sure there are many things they would report.

Fifi - no, I know you didn't, and I apologise for suggesting that you did .

I just feel that everyone is so busy busybodying nowadays (not you: I mean professionals) that it's quite nice to hear about a professional who is happy just to let something which isn't great but isn't a massively big deal go!

No offence was taken Dottoressa - no need to apologise, though nice to get the smiley!

All of you are kind of in agreement with my DH. I suppose I am a busybody.

A well-meaning one, but maybe your crossness is mis-directed here

Fifitot - I'm with you on this one - I think you did right in mentioning it to the nursery worker and if it happens again I would mention it to the nursery manager. They've effectively done their job well all day, looked after the child with all the right policies and procedures in place, health and safety, child protection etc. and then a parent goes and does something like this!

I'm a childminder and if I witnessed one of my parents do this I would definitely bring it up straightaway as this would be a child protection issue.

I used to see one of the mums at my children's school regularly drive them to school drunk. One day she got back in the car, drove away outside school swerving all over the place, up the road narrowly missing other cars.

I reported her to the headmistress.

Fifi - I excel as pissing nursery off as well

or rather at pissing nursery off!

Have been in this position but was sort of different as parent was already being monitored by SS. I would in any case mention it to a parent i think, just as i have had to when a parent turns up worse for wear at xmas and atempts to drive. Not a nice part of the job but necessary.

Very suprised the NN didn't tell you she would let nursery manager know and see what she thought at least.

Thanks ellabella and mummywannabe! I thought I was the only person in the world who was uncomfortable with this!

You say you didn't really expect them to do anything about it - how were they supposed to know that? For all that they knew, you expected to act promptly and do something about it - not just 'chat' and agree sympathetically that 'oh, isn't it awful!'.

This isn't just a school yard chat with another parent, these are the professionals and what they say can be held against them by vindictive parents, so it's not surprising that they take the safe and careful approach with what they say.

When walking back to my car, from the nursery i worked in, i saw a parent put his four year old daughter on his lap and drive off she waved as she drove past, we have also seen him leave her on the front seat, she winds the window down leans right out and says goodbye! As he works late we always hope he is actually just driving her to another part of the campus. The child has now left. Although her baby brother still attends we assume he is always safely in ihs car seat, he is only a year!

We have however never said anything to him, we know how ridiculously unsafe this but it is hard to say something without over stepping the line!

It is incredibly hard working in a nursery and knowing when and when not to say something, when a child misbehaves in front of us and a parent to we tell them off, i would if the parent didn't but othe nursery nurses wouldn't.

Once the child is back in the 'safe hands' of the parents is that where a responsiblity ends, its hard to say, however if i saw any child whether it was at my nursery or not i would def attempt it from getting hit or hurt if i could see danager approaching!