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Childminder or nursery?

11 replies

Parapluie · 18/02/2009 21:30

My 8 month old DD has recently started pre start sessions at nursery and they have been dreadful. She has had a couple now and at each one she has cried so much that she has thrown up several times each time. Every time when she has come back to me she is quivering, gulping and tearful.

The nursery nurses are lovely and they do tell me that they think she is doing well but some babies take longer to settle than others - don't know if they are being kind to me as I cried in front of them - but also said they have never met a baby who has thrown up so many times through crying.

I don't think I can do this to her though - it just seems so cruel.

I have just got in touch with a childminder who one of my friends used and who is a lovely, lovely lady. She has a space for a baby under one and is currently only minding 2 other toddlers.

It would only be for 2 days a week.

Would it be better to switch to the childminder? I was hunting for a nanny but have not had any success yet and I do know that this lady is very good. I would just like opinions as to whether she would settle faster with a childminder, whether the physically smaller number of other children would be better (cos obviously the ratio is the same)etc????

Any opinions gratefully received.

Just so you know, I have no choice other than to find childcare so taking her along later is not an option - sadly as if it was she wouldn't be going to childcare at all.

OP posts:
purepurple · 19/02/2009 07:35

I would go for the childminder. I work in a day nursery and would never send a baby to one.

BlueCowWondersSomeMore · 19/02/2009 07:40

If you already know and like the childminder, defo go for this option.

More like a family atmosphere, and I think you would be happier if you could phone/ text and get directly in contact with your baby's carer.

Parapluie · 19/02/2009 22:04

Thanks for all of your comments everyone - I notice everyone has said choose the childminder which has helped me make a decision. We went to see her again today and she is even more lovely than we remembered (we knew her a while ago as she cared for a friend's child) and there is no doubt now that we will go for the CM.

Admittedly DD was still upset - she is extremely clingy - but I am certain that she will cope better than in a big group like at nursery. The CM told us she was shocked that the nursery let her cry until she was sick and we are planning a much, much gentler settling in period. It still won't be easy I know - but I do feel a weight has been lifted off my mind.

OP posts:
ninja · 19/02/2009 22:08

My friend has this problem with her son and changed to a childminder and has never looked back.

I sent my first child to a nursery but have chosen to send my second to a childminder.

Does the childminder attend any baby/toddler groups that you could go to so your DD could get used to her with you there?

Spaceman · 19/02/2009 22:10

A good childminder is like gold dust and is the best childcare option in my opinion - I've used childminder, granny and nursery and the childminder option is GREAT! It's like home from home. I have to say I use a nursery now six hours a week for my 10 m.o. son as I can't find a minder for him and everytime I walk into the room to pick him up or drop him off there are always loads of babies sobbing and sitting by the window in the door looking out. It's quite sad. The nursery is a very reputable one too so it's nothing the staff is doing wrong. I just don't think very young kids like it much.

hf128219 · 19/02/2009 22:17

Sorry - definitely a good nursery over a childminder any day IMO.

charmargot · 19/02/2009 22:17

Childminder all the way! Biased as I am one! I pick up a boy from nursery and have him one afternoon a week and it annoys me that the nursery staff can't explain things like why did he fall asleep in his coat when he's sweating? Why can't they change his pooey nappy before I collect him when they know I can't do it on the street with 2 other kids and he falls asleep on the way home. Nurseries are getting better with the EYFS meaning they have to have a key worker so your child has a specific person looking out for them, but I have noticed my 4.5 days at nursery boy has very poor listening skills.

cece · 19/02/2009 22:20

For my DCs I never considered a nursery. I wanted a home from home for them, like being at home iyswim.

If you have one that comes highly recommended then go for it. To me nurseries for babies always seem too institutional.

dustbuster · 19/02/2009 22:28

I have a CM and I love her. I would def. go for a CM for a baby this age too... DD loves being with the other children (also toddler age group) and it really is like a home from home. I saw a few not so great CMs when I was looking, so if you have found a good one, then I would go for it. Having a personal recommendation is fab too.

BUT just a few words of warning:

it did take DD a while to settle at the CM's, she loves it there now but it wasn't instant.

And bear in mind that CMs will go on holiday and may occasionally be ill and you will have to arrange cover. For example my CM has this week off for half term.

Good luck! I hope your DD settles soon whatever you go for, it's a horrible feeling, isn't it? But you will find something you're happy with, and I don't have the slightest qualms about dropping DD off now, because I know she has a great time.

elkiedee · 19/02/2009 22:42

I started looking at nurseries for ds1 but couldn't get a 10 month old a place in a local council nursery and couldn't afford private ones, so found a childminder through the Childcare Information Service list. I met two and chose the first person I met. ds1 started there nearly a year ago. I feel very lucky because she's great and my dp and parents both agree, and so it seems does ds1. He was offered a nursery place lately but I now don't want to move him.

So CM has worked well for us, however, nursery works very well as childcare for some kids/their parents too.

bondgirl77 · 20/02/2009 12:53

Parapluie, this is totally making me think again about nursery as my DS is refusing to eat even though he is in his 4th week at nursery. Was quite happy in the care of a CM before - and I was happy with it apart from nuisance of having to take holidays when she did etc etc. Also find it irritating the negative language that the nursery uses saying that he 'refused' his lunch and tea!! Having v guilty day as he has apparently been tearful this morning. THink I might start looking for a CM too!

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