8 month old having terrible pre start at nursery

[Parapluie]

My 8 month old had her first pre start session at nursery this week. It was dreadful. After playing happily for 10 minutes she started to cry and cry and wail until she was violently sick all over her hair and clothes. She was then brought to me (I was going through paperwork in the staffroom) and was all teary and gulping.

She then began to cheer up and was giggly and chirpy with her keyworker. But every time she went into the nursery itself without me she got really upset again.

The ladies who work there seem lovely and they have booked her in for a lot more pre start sessions and hopefully things should get better. But I just want either reassurance that they will - or opinions as to whether nursery does really suit every child. For a while I was looking for a nanny for her but gave up as I didn't find any suitable candidates and we are only talking 2 days a week.

What worried me most was the strength of her reaction. I was expecting tears but making herself vomit? The keyworker said she had not seen a child do that either.

I have been so depressed and down ever since. After we arrived home I just sat and ate chocolate rolls and tea. My baby seemed more subdued than her normal self, but that could equally be because she is teething. I feel like the worst mother in the world, if only I didn't have to leave her.

Any words of wisdom appreciated.

I have seen this in children before (although not children this young), where they make them self sick through being upset.

The children get themselves in such a state, that they feel sick (in the same way that when we as adults worry alot and get ourselves upset, we feel sick) They then end up vomiting and when this gets the attention it does they end up doing it over an over again.

It will settle down once she is settled and use to it. However i do feel that a nanny would be better as it is a one to one and the nanny will be more able to deal with situations like this being able to dedicate all her time to you child and not have to worry about others. Although this situation may not happen with a nanny as it is not nearly as daunting and it is not such a big change like nursery.

Where do you live, there may be a nanny on here that could help you.

Best Wishes

DD's first settling-in session without me was pretty bad too (9mo at the time). She was only there for an hour, but when I came back she had obvoiusly been crying really hard as she was doing those sharp intakes of breath and her eyes were really red. They said she'd been crying on and off and I know that this will have been because of the noise at the nursery. She is quite sensitive to loud noises and when we arrived for her session there were about 4 babies crying (which in itself made me concerned).

I was all for finding another nursery or finding an alternative option, but I am pleased to report that her next few settling in sessions were better and she is now in the full swing of things only 3 weeks in. She went through a week of being quite subdued but is now louder than ever and is very happy. I can even wave goodbye to her when I leave her at nursery and she will wave back but get distracted by something far more interesting than her mum.

I am sure your DD will get into the swing of things very quickly. But if you want an excuse to eat chocolate rolls, I'm with you . You are not a bad mum, your DD will probably benefit loads by being with other babies and other adults and it will make you enjoy your time with her even more.

Hi parapluie i am a registered childminder in the bury area , i have foun in the past speaking to alot of parents that if babies are finding it difficult to settle in a nursery, a childminder does work best most of the time , because the advantages that your baby would get at a young age is with a childminder they have just got the one carer and a few children to get used to whilst at nursery its completly opposite , ;ots of children and staff. Plus its more a homely enviroment with a childminder.
But of course thats just my opion from my experience, plus a baby im minding at the moment her mum had the same problem she thought a nursey would be to much for her so she brought her to me at 8 months and she settled fine.If you need a chat or have any questions about childminder's i will be happy to help [email protected].

Hi

Im in the process of leaving my 12 mth at nursey. How has your child got on? Did things improve?

Hi, As a childminder, I would offer for the parent to stay and play with their child for quite a few short sessions (not more than an hour) if there's enough time before starting properly. In the past, parents have also come with us on the walk to school and the park for the child to get used to things. I would have thought it quite normal for an 8 month old to be left with people strange to them in a strange place.
Won't the nursery let you stay in the room for a short session?

Sorry, I meant: quite normal for an 8 month old to be upset on being left.

Hi there. My daughter, then aged 7m, was a total nightmare to settle at nursery. She was absolutely hysterical for the first day and went on a total hunger-strike, not eating or taking bottles from staff for the first 4 days. She was v clingy with me at the time, and reacted very badly to any stranger. But after 4 days, the situation suddenly totally changed. By the following week, she was dancing up the path and not even looking back as me or dp left for the day. She's now 23m, adores the nursery and the staff, and all the way home babbles away about some of her little nursery friends. The staff were great, and encouraged me to stick it out, and I'm so glad I did. Give it a few more days...