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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Nursery or Nanny?

14 replies

commanderchaos · 10/02/2009 21:27

I'm sure this has come up before but...

currently on ml with DD (8 months), and have her down for the same nursery as DS (3 yrs). but am wondering about having a nanny instead? am very happy with nursery (as a nursery, iyswim), but am beginning to feel strongly that they would both be better off in our home. financially, there's not much in it, but i wondered what other factors influenced your choice of child-care, and advantages/disadvantages of nannies.

tia.

OP posts:

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thisisyesterday · 10/02/2009 21:37

i think, for a smaller child I would be far happier with a nanny than a nursery. simply because the baby will get more 1 to 1 attention from a nanny than she would from a nursery.

that isn't to say I think nurseries are bad. but if I had the choice I think i'd prefer a nanny.
like you say, it's nice for them to be in their own home, and what I want from childcare for my children is for it to be as close to what I would do with them as possible,. and so a nanny would win hands down

bobbysmum07 · 10/02/2009 22:19

I'd choose a nanny precisely because the child wouldn't get the one to one attention. Far healthier to be in a group situation with other kids. Makes for a much happier and nicer child in the long run.

bobbysmum07 · 10/02/2009 22:19

I'd choose the nursery, sorry, not nanny ...

saladsucks · 10/02/2009 22:22

I'm with the nursery option. I just believe that they learn how to mix with their peers and sharing etc. And that nursery does more exciting and messy things that I wouldn't want in my house (but I am very fussy about things like that).

thisisyesterday · 11/02/2009 09:56

so, bobbysmum and saladsucks... do you think that children raised at home by a parent miss out in some way then?
or that a nanny wouldn't take a child out to activities and toddler groups so that they experienced group play??

just interested..

saladsucks · 12/02/2009 22:50

thisisyesterday - a tough question. I've not really considered the staying at home option too much as its not really an option for me. However, in my (very limited) experience of peers who don't work and have their children at home with them, my DD is better at sharing, and interacting with other 2 year olds than those who have not been to nursery. That is not "all 2 year olds ever" just simply the 4, 5, 6 toddlers that I know whose mothers do not work outside the home. The OP was asking nanny v nusery (so stay at home not an option presented).

As for nanny taking them out, I'm sure that a nanny would ensure that there was experience of group play but in my personal experience, I prefer my DD to spend all day with her peers and I think that she has really benefitted from it.

I also think that it all comes out in the wash by about 5 years old when they've all been at school for a year or so.

newgirl · 12/02/2009 23:02

depends how good they are - the best nurseries with fab staff are wonderful, happy places with good staff/child ratios, and a great nanny is fab

there are depressing nurseries out there and fed up nannies who dont like their jobs anymore

its not as simple as a blanket one better than the other - you can simply judge by visiting your local places and interviewing - something will feel right

TheSonnetts · 12/02/2009 23:30

I chose a nanny for when they were young then dd went to a nursery about 3 as nanny was off having her own baby.

As a carer for a baby I definately think a nanny is better.I don't like a nursery environment for a very young child personally. For your 3 year old it is different but I presume he would still go to nursery school/playgroup in the mornings and then it would give him time at home also with his sister.

Advantages of a nanny:

Your children get to bond with one key person and you can individually pick this person instead of the nursery.

You leave them in their own house - only the person looking after them changes.I personally think this is the most important thing as a baby.

You decide their routine and the nanny sticks with it.

You decide what they eat.Nanny will cook it.
Nanny will also wash their clothes.

They get to sleep in their own cot for naps and aren't disturbed by other children.

You don't have to get them ready and out of the door in the mornings.

If they are ill the nanny can still look after them and you can work.

More flexibility on hours.

They can still socialise as much as you want most nannys take them to music,toddler groups - whatever you want.
Most play is pretty solo/parallel play until 2 1/2.

Dd went through this care and so is my ds now.Dd is at school now and very bright with lots of friends so I don't think was disadvantaged in not going to nursery as a baby.

Original poster

commanderchaos · 16/02/2009 19:57

Thanks, guys.

Sonnetts sums it up for me. I think we will go with the nanny, especially for the baby, but make sure DS will go to some sessions of pre-school (or something).

Just need to make sure we find the right nanny, now...

Thanks again.

OP posts:

changer22 · 16/02/2009 20:02

What about a childminder?

BirdyArms · 16/02/2009 20:11

One major disadvantage of a nanny for me was that it turns out that I am a complete control freak and couldn't bear to have someone in my house doing what I saw as my job. I hadn't expected this at all having been quite happy leaving ds1 in a nursery and not being particularly precious about my children or fussy about what they eat etc. Think it was partly that I didn't particularly like our nanny on a personal level from the start although she was really great with the kids. I think it's very important to get a nanny that you have a good feeling about and to trust your instincts about them.

nowwearefour · 16/02/2009 20:15

nanny. one on one care cant be beaten in my opinion especially for one so young. and it is so much easier not having to get baby out of the house in the morning. but whatever decision you make i am ure your child will be fine.

willowthewispa · 16/02/2009 23:04

Definitely a nanny for the first two or three years - a baby really doesn't gain anything from group care, they just need one good carer. And a nanny will take children to toddler groups and play dates anyway.

Nurseries are good from 2-3 years when they really get something out of having other children to play with.

ThingOne · 16/02/2009 23:17

I would definitely choose a nanny over nursery. Sonnetts has pointed out most of the advantages. Far better for babies and small children to have the one-to-one (ish) attention at this age if you can afford it, and I agree that a nanny comes at much the same price as two in nursery.

A nanny can also take your three year old to whatever pre-school sessions you choose.

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