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Nurseries

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Original poster

Aggressive language picked up at nursery: should I be concerned or just accept it?

17 replies

mrsbabookaloo · 05/02/2009 20:54

DD is 2.6 and goes to nursery 2 days a week. We have just reduced her days from 3 to 2 for various practical reasons but also in part because I've been a bit shocked at some of the things she's coming out with.

Two types of language are coming out: things like "kill you, kill you" or "I'm going to cut you", which I think she may have picked up from other children, and secondly things like:
"I'm going to send you to the hospital and they'll cut you up" or "I'm going to take you into town and put you in the bin" or "take you to the police and put you in jail", which I'm slightly worried might be coming from one of the staff members.

Now, just tell me if I'm being too precious about this: I know you can't keep them wrapped up in cotton wool forever and they will learn things from other children, especially those who have older siblings. I'm more worried if the threatening language is coming from a nursery worker. It may be quite light-hearted though, and I may be over-reacting.

Maybe they all start coming out with this stuff at this age?

Any advice/opinions?

OP posts:

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morocco · 05/02/2009 20:58

sorry but this made me laugh.

let's hope all the other mums aren't talking about that new 'horror' who's just started nursery and is leading their little ones astray with her foul language

have a word with the nursery leaders and see what they say. fairly unlikely they have not noticed employing a homicidal nursery worker but they might be able to have a chat with some of the more 'vocal' toddlers about appropriate language if they hear it happening

chewitt · 05/02/2009 20:58

Children with older siblings will have learnt it and use that type of language in their play, so IME its fairly normal. My ds is often trying to chop my head/legs off. Nice.

morocco · 05/02/2009 20:59

sorry, still pmsl about the 'put you in the bin' one, mine love that line

Original poster

mrsbabookaloo · 05/02/2009 21:00

I know, I should mention it to them at nursery, but I'm a wuss and don't want to seem critical.

OP posts:

morocco · 05/02/2009 21:02

nah, you'll be fine, just make out you find it hilarious

but

........

could they still try and do something about it please

cmotdibbler · 05/02/2009 21:02

That sounds like totally normal things for them to come out with. The hospital thing prob translates from 'so and so going to hospital for an operation', police from 'the policeman takes burglar bill to jail' etc.

MrsMattie · 05/02/2009 21:04

I was a bit when my DS came home from nursery and told me he was going to 'kill my head off' (wtf?!). He was never in to this 'fighting with light sabers' - type malarkey until he met other 4 yr old boys at nursery, either. He still prefers doll's tea parties and Fifi & the Flowertots at home, though . Don't worry too much.

GivePeasAChance · 05/02/2009 21:05

All these phrases are generally followed by "and you are not coming to my party"

I was the same when I first heard it all - DS1 said some 'horrific' things.......4 years later and another DS who is/was the same, I have chilled out.

Although unfortunately even now, a high percentage of conversations revolve around bodily functions and techniques of death, I think (read:hope) it's pretty normal.

wheresthehamster · 05/02/2009 21:06

Just sounds like The Three Little Pigs to me

Original poster

mrsbabookaloo · 05/02/2009 21:21

OK, so general consensus is don't worry too much, though interestingly, it seems to be more the tendency of 4 year old boys than 2 year old girls!!

Thanks for your replies.

OP posts:

Spaceman · 05/02/2009 21:25

My DD's friend told her she was going to punch her in the head, then punch her mum in the head (me obviously) and then punch her LITTLE BROTHER in the head (seven months old) because she wanted the dressing up dress my DD was wearing. I asked her 'where do you get this from?' and she just shrugged her shoulders and said sweetly, 'I just make it up!'

tigermoth · 05/02/2009 21:26

In answer to your OP, just accept it and don't be too concerned. It is pretty normal IME, but do let the nursery workers know in a matter of fact sort of way.

Scarfmaker · 06/02/2009 13:27

mrsbabookaloo - I'm with you on this one - I think you should be worried if your 2 and a half year old comes out with these sort of comments - I don't think it's the average kinda stuff that kids say. Then again if there's a kid that hears this kind of stuff at home and then comes to nursery saying it all the other kids are bound to pick it up.

Then again it could be coming from a nursery worker - you just never know - I've heard nursery workers talk to kids like this in our local park.

If it carries on I would mention it to the nursery and take it from there.

purepurple · 06/02/2009 16:04

when my DD was a toddler she told us that when she won the lottery she was going to cut off her dad's head with a big saw :O that was over 10 years ago and we still tease her with it. It's all fairly normal stuff

SJisontheway · 06/02/2009 16:23

My friend moved to the US and started his DS is a new nursery. After a couple of weeks he was in the local playground making small talk with some of the neighbours when his little fella started stamping on some ants roaring - die, mother f*ers, die!!! He was embarrassed, but it was kinda funny

Original poster

mrsbabookaloo · 06/02/2009 20:43

Thanks for these replies. Think I will try to casually bring it up at nursery...!

OP posts:

Lemontart · 06/02/2009 21:00

Probably harmless repetition from kids repeating other kids etc. (the bin one is standard kid stuff). Still worth quietly checking with the nursery to be on the safe side. Unlikely it is a sign of anything sinister but unlikely things to still happen now and again.
Pleased you are going to mention it without any big confrontational tactic

I remember when DD1 looked me in the face, made an L shape with her finger and thumb on her forhead and said "you are a loser mummy". I was dumbstruck. Could not believe it. Almost cried from the shock! Ridiculously over reacted as I was very upset at the though my innocent toddler was being dragged into a nasty horrid world etc etc. Now I can chuckle about it. Took me a while to see the funny side in it - her expectant face, thinking I would be proud of her newly learnt trick!!

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