Nursery near work or nursery near home?

[pamelat]

I go back to work in one weeks time (after 14 months off )

DD has been booked in to start at a nursery near home since I was pregnant. She has had one 2 hour trial session and was happy there.

Personally, I think she would be happy anywhere.

Dilemma.

The nursery near home (£40 a day) opens 8am - 6pm. I need to be at work for 8am (originally my DH was going to do the morning drop offs and now he can not). I have spoken to work and they have relucantly allowed me to do 830-430pm so that I can drop DD and make the 30/40 minute journey to work.

However, I don't think that they were too happy about this so I started looking at nurseries around work.

I found a lovely one (£37 a day but with the option of half days at half the cost) They open at 7am - 6pm.

I like the idea of her being near me at work, but not the idea of a 30 minute car journey each way with her .

I like that if she is ill I can get to her quickly.

I like that DH can occcassionally drop her at 7am (not at 8am).

I like that half days are actually half price (I am scheduled to work 3 days but would prefer 2.5 days).

I even prefer the nursery nearer to my work.

The "buts" are ...

What if I am ill (off work) and need to still get her to nursery (if DH can not do it)

What if she misses out socially around home on meeting other children of the same age who live here?

What if/when I get pregnant again and go on maternity leave. I would have to move her nursery back to home, would this mess her about? She is 12 months old and quite adaptable/sociable.

What do you think?

I think you have pretty much summed up the advantages yourself and you need to trust your instinct as to which is best.

I personally opted for a nursery near home for all of the reasons you have listed - I can still take DS1 there if I am ill, now I am on maternity leave, I am able to walk DS1 there and back each day plus he has made a whole group of friends who hopefully he will go through school etc with as they all live local aswell. The other factor for me is that I travel a little with work so am not always going to or coming home from my main place of work so it would have been awkward having to drive there to drop off/pick up. Also, if I had a 30-minute car journey with him on the way home, he would fall asleep (guaranteed!) and then not go to bed at night (probably more relevant when they are 18 months plus).

As I said, only you can decide but it is a tough one

Its really hard. My instincts say the nursery near work but I dont want to move her in 12/18 months time to one back at home.

How would a 2 or 2.5 year old deal with a nursery move?

The (lovely) lady at the nursery near work told me that until they are 3 they cope quite well but that at 3 they have formed attachments with other children and might be upset?

I understand.
I would go for the one near work. Thats what I did, but I had my reasons.
Ds was at the best best nursery down the road from our house. But then it closed.
My journey to work only took 20 minutes. But on the way home, sometimes it would take 20 mintes, and other times 40. I finished work at 4.30pm. I could be there for 4.50 I was due to pick him up at 5pm. If it took 40 mins I wouldn't be there till 5.10 pm - 10 mins late and I would be all stresses, on my hands free, phoning the nursery , saying, sorry, sorry, I'll be there in a few mins.
So, the nursery was due to close. But my husband said, move him now. I had a nursery on my site at work.
We could leave home at 7.30 am. I dropped him at nursery and was in work myself a few mins later.
No more stressful journeys. When I finished work, I walked a few steps and got him. The nursery was fab ans he was so happy.
To be fair, the children came from all over. Some local. Others were from all over the place - they were there becasue their parents, like me worked in that area.So parties were a problem, I drove all over surrey for parties.
And we did not see people outside of nursery really. Mind you , I think that is the nature round here, we never did with the one down the road, other than for parties.
And I was worried about the transition to school - him not knowing anyone. But it hasn't been a problem. Many children knew eachother. Many knew no one.

Do you work at the same place every day. If so, I would do it.
You say being ill, but how often are you actaully ill - very rarely surely, would tht be an issue.
The maternity things, needs thought - only you can answer that.
You could get here into ballet lessons, or any other socail group, of help with transition. That was the one thing that I really really worried about - him starting school, knowing no one - with hindsight, it hasn't been an issue for him AT ALL.
One of my frineds had this problem, but found out that many of the children who would be attending the school she wanted, went to swimming lessons. So she booked her ds into those. when he started school he already knew 6 other children.

What is your GUT instinct.

I had some temporary contracts before my daughter started school. She always went to nurseries near work, for the sorts of reasons you've identified. I had to work until 6pm and, with an hour's journey to work, no nursery near home was open late enough in the evening. And when we had one family emergency, it was a godsend that I didn't have an hour's journey to fetch DD from the nursery.

During my last contract before she went to school, she changed nurseries (age about 3 1/2) because the other children of her age at the first nursery left to start school nursery and she was lonely. She coped well with the move and was far happier at the second nursery. Actually, I think this is the biggest problem with nurseries - they have far fewer children aged 3+ as so many find nursery places in schools, but that's a long way down the line for you.

I agree that you can solve the local friends problem by joining classes etc. Will you be working full-time? If you won't, try to find a toddler group or similar on your free day.

I ohad this dilemma, work was 45 mins drive from hme. I opted for the one nearer work. It was a pain when I was ill as it meant I had to pay and keep dd at home with me, and I never needed to get to her quickly. As you are working pt she will have plenty of time to get to know other children locally.

TBH once I went on Mat leave second time around we found it cheaper to get a nanny to come to our house to care for the children (one with her own child) and by that time dd was due to start pre school nursery so it made sense to move things closer to home.

I had this dilemma and opted for one near home rather than work (45 minutes away)

My reasons were that after a long day at nursery DD would want to be home quickly rather than stuck in traffic. I also like that I can take a days holiday if I want to do some decorating, Christmas shopping etc and don't want DD around but don't have to drive 45 minutes to her nursery. It's also better if there is ever a time when DH needs to pick her up.

It sounds like you are leaning more towards the one near your work though

We are at a near home nursery that I really like, but now I want to work more hours and dh has changed jobs and isnt able to drop off dd anymore I think I am going to have to move her to a near work nursery and I'm gutted because she loves the current one. I didn't think through what would happen if I needed to work more hours when I picked the nursery.

I didn't have a choice, as there was only one, but I wish it had been nearer work, as I hated it if they called me when the dcs were ill or had an accident and I couldn't get there within minutes. Also, she may need a little reassurance at the start, which you much more easily do if you are on the doorstep. As for moving chidren of this age after a year - a lot of the children will have moved on anyway, so it is not as big a deal as if she were older. If she is socialising all day with children of her own age, she is not missing out at home at all - that can be your time with her - and it is not as if she is old enough to ask to play with someone next door.

also, I have had to move all of my 3 children in and out of many nurseries as dh is in the army. they all adapted to it much more quickly than I did. i.e. within 2 days....

Other problem I had was that dd wold fall asleep on the way home because of the longish journey an d then would be grumpy when we got home, or wouldn't go to bed properly.

I chose near work as it is literally behind my office building and it feels good to be that close incase of illness, accidents etc.The only downside in my opinion is if i am ill as dh starts work before the nursery opens so can never drop ds off so i can stay in bed feeling sorry for myself! Also if you go for one near work then you don't have to worry about late fees after being stuck in traffic which are ( for me at least )£10 for every 15 mins!!!!!

The nursery near work is a mile from work, so its definately a drive. I would have to avoid the temptation to pop in at lunch

The nursery near home is half a mile away and in a lovely area. I always imagined having a baby and collecting him/her from there sad person that I am!

It helps to hear that children adjust quickly.

I will be part time and out and about with local babies on my Thursdays and Fridays (I have a lovely antenatal group ).

Also there is a possibility (DH job dependent) that we will be moving out towards my work as its nearer to the M1.

Illness wise, rarely ill but it would be nice if I was poorly to have a duvet day home alone. With this work nursery opening at 7am, DH could drop DD on these days (I think).

Also, a plus for the near work one is that if you give them a months notice of your holiday (up to 3 weeks in duration) then they dont charge you for those weeks! Thats got to be unusual???? and lovely.

I am keen to get pregnant soon hopefully. Once we have 2 then it would not be worth my while going to work and I would take a career break of a couple of years. Its at this time that we would move DD to a nursery near to wherever we are living.

I think I like the work one. I have a small irrational (PFB!) fear of potentially putting DD at risk by driving an hour a day with her along a busy stretch of road in rush hour, but I have never crashed and at least she will be with me. Its very slight but it is on my mind a little.

Thanks for all your advice. I am taking DH to see the "near work" nursery in the week and see what he thinks. Thank you

i think near home is best. what if you got another job?

Maybe. We are still thinking as now Dh no longer has a job. In some ways, selfishly, its quite nice that we have a few more months to decide as he will look after her at home Monday - Wednesday.

I wont be leaving my job, its part time and I actually really really enjoy it. Its public sector so hopefully (but who knows?) quite secure.

pamelat - its not pfb (whatever that means!) to worry about car safety - I am the same!

I would be inclined to go with the nursery nearest work as you can get to them quicker in an emergency - something I worry about tbh. Also you have more chance of "keeping an eye on things" if the nursery is down the road - pop in occasionally at lunchtime to check on them - why not? Your DC is the most important thing in all this!