Would you be upset about this?

[bigeyes]

On Friday DS said he had been naughty and wasnt allowed pudding and was given fruit instead

I expressed my concern about this to nursery manager this morning who said she could see my point that healthy fruit shouldnt be used as a punishment. I very much like the staff who care for DS and just asked that they use another strategy.

I picked him up today and spoke to the member of staff concerned who was very helpful, polite and took the time to talk to me about this.

BUT she went on to mention that my DS always asks the staff if he has been good or naughty and she said they dont use that word (I kno)w this. I said yes we use it at home.

1. Did she say this to get back - she doesnt seem this sort - I like her

2. Should I be worried that DS worries about getting wrong if he has been 'naughty' whilst at nursery, I do talk to him when needed in order to support the staff.

3. Are we as parents being too hard on DS if this seems to concen him but... he never feels the need to ask this at home?

He is confident, chatty, full of energy and not a timid type - overall a happy child. Whilst I do raise my voice and speak to him sternly (as does DH) and use timeout (rarely recently) I do not use any other overbearing sanctions

I am upset and confused by what she has said. Any thoughts - I am a worrier and need tto get this straight in my head.

Maybe she just wanted you to know that he couldn't have picked up that habit there.

I wouldn't worry about it at all.

Tamarto - yes that seems perfectly pauslible and hope this is just it as I do like the staff.

thanks

bump

I have no idea why you would be worrying about this ????

as a nursery nurse I an shocked that someone would use food as a punishment. Pudding is part of the meal that you have paid for. Denying children food is bloody Dickensian.

i don't like food being used as a treat/punishment and i don't think it is appropriate

how old is your DS?

it doesn't sound like it was done maliciously but it is daft and sets up unhealthy food associations IMO

Thanks pure and ruby - My intial concern was just that, the association with fruit as a punishment. DS is 3 and eats a wide range of fruit and veg most of the time!

But after being told me DS seeks a lot of reassurance during the day about his behaviour has left me a bit worried. Like I said, is it because:

1. hes worried about getting into trouble with me when I pick him up

2)that we are too strict

3. that the dont praise hime enough

I talked to DS last night and played with hime for quite a bit and he does seem to be happy enough!

DH said we ar ethe parents and they are entitled to comment, and I dont think we need to change.

My DS is a loving, sweet little boy with other people, and doesn't throw temper tantrums, or even raise his voice. But with ME, he can be a right little terror. My theory is that he knows he can push the boundaries with me because he knows that I will always be there for him, but with other people, he's not as sure of them and so won't push it.

Could it be that? He's just not as sure of the nursery staff as he is of you and so wants confirmation from them that they are happy with him?

Also, do you expect better than normal behaviour when you are out and about? In that case not being at home maybe he feels he has to act a bit better than he would at home. I'd take it as a positive sign!