should i take my 4 year old dd out of nursery?

[snuffyp]

my dd has been going to nursery for year only for 2 2.5 hr sessions just so she can mix with other children as i don,t know anyone with kids her age and felt it was important she mixed.took her awhile but she kinda got used to it the young girl there was fab kind and alls doing lots of fun stuff with them.so even tho dd would get upset about going once there she was ok.sept most of the kids she knew left for school and the staff changed.since then my daughter does,nt enjoy it at all.she asks each day if shes going and gets upset if i say yes and keeps saying i don,t go there anymore.the staff are,nt very friendly and i wonder what the kids do as theres never much around when i go in don,t know the last time she brought a painting home.seems like there really lazy always kids with runny noses,mums complaining of sore bums as they have been left to wipe and could,nt do it properly.i took in thank you cards and was putting them in the draws but was told they would do it one had a party acceptance when i went in aftre xmas they were all dumped in my dd,s draw so it was too late to say to the mum we were coming.when i was trying to teach dd to write her name she was,nt keen i asked them if they could encourage her but they said no they don,t do that!!i know its more about play but is,nt there some learning involved??.i hate when i go in seeing the younger ones crying for there mums and not getting a cuddle they know there crying but ignore them.plus the kids are always being unkind to each other saying they hate easch other hitting etc tho i except thats what kids do why do the staff tell them its not very kind and so say sorry????.i just think what does my daughter get by being there?.our village hall is starting up some groups a music class and a food fun one i wonder if i should just take her there?shes not confident at all around kids shes so unsure of her self.where i thought nursery would prepare her abit for school would it be better for me to take her to local groups and would it build her confidence having me there and make her more likely to mix?plus she,d get to meet some local children who will probably go to her school.don,t know what to do whats best for her?

send her to a nicer nursery

is there one associated with the primary school she'll go to eventually?

Doesnt sound like a very good nursery. Is it a private nursery or state? A state nursery would usually be more sructured than a private one.

no sadly there is,nt thing is i don,t drive and it would be hard me getting to another plus i know she would find it really hard going and getting started at another.i thought i need to try prepare her for school by being away but can you ever truly prepare them for school?as i said as well shes so shy around kids and when we go out i want her to be more confident i just thought if i went to something with her and would she be more at ease and would it build her confidence and make her mix better?was hoping msybe they,d be some local children there who she might make friends with which would be lovely for her as she would already have friends when she starts school in sept

It think it depends on the nursery. A bad one wont make her more confident, it will just make her less willling to be separated from you.
Are there any childminders near you who might have other children the same age as your DD?

27 its busy bees as i said when she first started it was lovely but now i just think why bother

It sounds like a pretty grim nursery, TBH. In the situation you describe I'd take her out and go to local groups instead.

port and lemon its what i think just worry about her not getting used to not being with me.but then is going to nursery 5 hrs a week preparing her for starting school fulltime anyway???

Also arguably all you are doing at the moment is getting her used to the idea that not being with you is fairly miserable.

i just wonder if the best thing i can do for her before school is build up her confidence going to the local groups we can enjoy it together and hopefully she be happy to go off and do things with the rest of the group.theres also a little dance group and my friend has said theres a lady there with a 4 year old and wants to find a local friend for her who,ll be going to school at the same time.surely if my dd has more confidence and makes some friends won,t that be a bigger help when she starts school?

Exactly.

port and lemon thank you!glad someone agrees with me my dh is abit unsure apart from anything else my dd does,nt have to go to nursery not like we need her there for childcare when i see some of those sad little kids there i wonder what effect it has on them.i know parents have to work but i also know not all the kids there have to be there so much makes me sad for them

I think you are right snuffyp.

kids have to spend long enough at school so why make it longer?i spending those early years at home with your child(i know not all can do that)and bring up a happy confident child is the best thing you can do to prepare them for what lies ahead.i feel i may as well enjoy her while i can!

Doesn't the local school have a nursery attached?

Do you know that it's really hard to get through posts that don't use paragraphs and capital letters ?

i know i,m just lazy!!plus trying to type with my dd laying all over me. no littlefish there is,nt a nursery attached to school.

Are there absolutely no other nurseries which would be possible?

I'm a former Reception teacher and I do think that if children attend a high quality, play based nursery, then it can be really beneficial for them. However, if there's not a good one around, then it will be up to you instead to try and ensure that she has lots of opportunities to socialise and explore either with or without you present, by going to toddler groups, music groups etc.

I have to say, I do agree with Nursery not teaching children to write their own names - it's simply not important. What's important is that they can recognise their own names. Sorry - I know that was only one of your concerns, but I thought you might like to know.

There are nurseries which are further away which would mean 4 bus trips for me.Also i just wonder if i want to have to upset her all over again.Littlefih i know writing there name is,nt important but i just wonder whta do they bother doing?.For the children who are there full time it must be really dull i know it just depends on the staff.My main point is really would it matter if se goes to nursery or other groups?does anything ever really prepare them for school littlefish?

Yes, there are certain things that can help support their transition to independence.

I would say that at about 4, it is helpful for children to begin to spend short periods of time away from parents so that they can learn to negotiate with other children, start to develop supportive relationship with other children, spend extended periods of time concentrating on self chosen activity etc. without having a parent over their shoulder .

Nurseries also provide the opportunity for children to spend time in small groups with an adult (ratios are 1:8 in a private nursery or 1:13 in an LEA nursery (I think)) before they go into school where the ratio can be as much as 1:30 (unless there is a TA).

I would also say that 2 sessions a week isn't really enough for her to get really settled in. It's a long time between sessions if you see what I mean.

Writing names isn't important at this age. They should be doing lots of open-ended play and exploration e.g. den building, digging, painting, clay/sculpture, investigating cause and effect, singing songs, playing with sounds and rhymes, listening to stories, role play, counting, measuring, water & sand etc. etc. Far too much to list.

However, if a nursery is not good, then I do think she's better off out of there. I spent some time working in a nursery which sounds like the one you're describing. The children were cared for, but not stimulated or supported to develop, which led to children being bored and negative behaviour being seen.

i see alot of negative behaviour which my daughter is picking up!

I haven't managed to read all of your posts (agree with the other poster about capital letters!) but if the main purpose of sending your dd to nursery is socialisation, perhaps you could could just go to some mother and toddler groups with her, or to story time at the library, softplay etc. Her current nursery doesn't sound very nice at all.