Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

Flip

Original poster

Tips for new parents putting their child into nursery

21 replies

Libralovesbiscuits1975 · 30/12/2008 09:39

Morning, I am sure this has been done before so if you know where the thread is please link to it.

I am putting my DS (6 months) into nursery beginnning of Feb and I was just looking for tips from experienced childcarers on how to make this transition as easy as possible on him. We have 3 weeks in advance to me starting work to settle him in slowly but any advice/tips etc would be gratefully received.
thanks.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

pickcherries · 30/12/2008 10:41

i would advise you to start putting him in a couple of hours and than increse it. If he is going to be there early ie 7.30 start being he at that time and slowly increse the time! then by the time you start work he will be completely settled! good luck

LittleMonkeysMummysAXmasFairy · 30/12/2008 11:18

My daughter is 10 m and oficially stating her nursery next monday. I went in and asked about settling in days - was expecting a couple of mornings etc. They gave me every monday and tuesday in december - free of charge . She started of 2 hours and we built it up over he weeks so that she was finally in for her full days (7.30-6). Also really helped me as I can go back to work knowing she is in an environment that she loves!

UniS · 30/12/2008 21:02

for an older child- DS found it very comforting to have a photo of himself with mummy and daddy ( and our bikes) to a - hold onto, b- show staff and other chldren, c - remind himslf that daddy would be coming ....
All the kids in his room have that sort of photo on the wall, boy wanted t carry his around with him for the first few days, it now lives on the board.
Also for an older child... beware of treats straight after a settle in session. boy was VERY cross when daddy didn;t show up at lunch time and take him to lunch at work canteen on the first day he did full day, refused to eat lunch for a week.

Original poster

Libralovesbiscuits1975 · 01/01/2009 08:46

Thanks for the tips, I will link this to the going back to work thread I am on. Anymore advice welcome

OP posts:

giddykipper · 01/01/2009 08:58

My biggest tip is to not waver or show doubt when you drop them off. They will cry, you will feel guilty, but it will be a lot worse (I promise) if you give in! You just have to take them in, hand them over, quick kiss, "bye bye, see you, later love you" and walk out the door. If they scream blue murder don't turn around, don't go and pick them up again. I promise they will stop crying and I promise they will really enjoy it when they are settled in after a few weeks. It feels like you are being really mean but if you don't do it the settling in period will be much longer.

Definitely build it up slowly too. Our settling in went:

An hour with me
An hour alone (didn't even realise I wasn't there!)
An hour alone either side of dinner and nap
A few mornings alone (the crying started now)
Full days alone.

Hope that helps and sorry for the scaremongering! DS absolutely loves his nursery now.

bloss · 01/01/2009 09:13

Message withdrawn

Bicnod · 01/01/2009 11:16

I'll third that - I used to work in a day nursery (many moons ago) and I felt so so sorry for the parents who went off in tears/wracked with guilt thinking their screaming LO would be hysterical for the entire day. Invariably 30 seconds after mum/dad walked out of the front door their DC was distracted by something fun and had a great day... mum/dad on the other hand spent the entire day feeling guilty... quick goodbyes are DEFINITELY the way forward.

Eddas · 01/01/2009 11:27

try this thread

Def quick drop off. Ring later if you want to make sure dc stopped crying. My dd and ds went to a nursery for about 6 months(was only ever temporary as dd starting school this month and ds moving to another setting nearer work) and dd(4) cried everytime I dropped her off. Was fine moments later apparently ds(1) cried very little. I think the older the child is the more they play on the crying thing

Original poster

Libralovesbiscuits1975 · 02/01/2009 22:11

thanks for your help and bump for any more hints

OP posts:

pudding25 · 05/01/2009 13:01

I am in London and have dd down at 2 nurseries for April when I go back to work (in the hope I will get a space at one). She will be 10.5mths. Both nurseries only offer 2 settling in slots before she starts. Not too happy about that but not sure what I can do?

MrsBadger · 05/01/2009 13:06

agree that once you leave them you must leave, never go back for 'one more kiss' etc

But once they are older do be flexible before that - dd (now 17m) goes through the odd clingy phase where she hangs onto my knees. Rather than peeling her off and legging it (with inevitable howls) I chat casually to the carers and other children till dd spots something more exciting than my jeans and toddles off. Only takes a couple of min but saves grief all round.

When she was small I did used to have to hand her over wailing - they never minded me ringing to check she'd stopped though

Giddykipper's settling in plan is a good one

completelyabsolutely · 05/01/2009 16:12

Dd is 11 months and has been going to nursery for 2 months now and have found that if I hand her across to one of the staff there she cries like her heart is breaking. I know she stops really soon but it's still so guilt inducing especially if she's crying when I arrive aswell, but if I put her down on the mat and start her off playing with something (literally just give her a toy, not lingering to play) then let one of the staff take over, say goodbye and go she is not at all bothered when I go and will wave to me.

Everyone is right though - he will cry, you will feel awful, the staff will tell you he is fine when you leave, you wont believe them but know that it is true really.

FeelingLucky · 05/01/2009 21:19

I'm going to go slightly against the grain here. During settling in period, yes by all means be firm and leave when you say you'll leave. But, once out the door, count to 10 and return - point being that you;re teaching them that though you are going, you WILL COME BACK.

Took me ages to settle my DD into nursery because I wanted to do it the 'no cry settling in method' as it broke my heart to hear her cry even for 10 seconds. It did work, but took a fair few weeks of doing this before she was properly settled.

kickassangel · 05/01/2009 21:42

btw, dd settled in at 4 months fine - we were offered settling in but wre cofident she didn't need it. never once showed any signs of upset & to this day loves her first key worker (now 5)

sometimes it's the adults, not kids. who need it!

Original poster

Libralovesbiscuits1975 · 05/01/2009 21:49

pudding25 - we have our LO down to start 3 weeks before I actually go back to work so we can introduce him gradually as giddykipper has suggested, yes it's going to cost us money and we won't be using the whole session but hopefully it will be less stressful for LO and me!

OP posts:

pudding25 · 06/01/2009 13:18

Libra -I never thought about doing that! I will ask if it is possible to change the start date (providing I actually manage to get a place).

MerryMadMarg · 06/01/2009 17:01

Just beware that the first few months (around 6 months) your child is going to be susceptible to all the bugs going around that up until now have passed you by. It shouldn't be as bad because you are going there at the end of winter, but it can make it difficult for you and your DH as you will have to take time off work or make alternative arrangements.

I'm fortunate that as a SAHM who has DS in nursery 2 days a week, it wasn't a problem if he took time off. But for the first 2 months he missed more days than he went in.

designerbaby · 08/01/2009 12:37

HI all, can I join please? DD (14 months) is having her nursery induction this week (every day, progressively longer each day...). She'll be in 3 days a week, 8.30 - 5.30 from Monday.

Finding it incredibly hard...

First day I was with her and all was fine. Second day I left her for an hour and she was crying when I went to pick her up... as she's not a very cry-y baby generally it was hearbreaking to see her little red eyes. She was being cuddled by one of the key workers and having her back rubbed, so I know they hadn't just left her to get on with being upset, but it was still so hard to see.

Yesterday she only cried at lunchtime, but didn't eat a thing. We've had feeding issues in the past so this preys on all my deepest fears for her.

As she's also a light sleeper I can't see much napping going on whie she's there, and she'll never eat when she's tired.

I'm just getting myself in knots imagining my little girl exhuasted and hungry all day .

God, this is awful...

Anyone got any reassurance? please??

db
xx

Bettymum · 08/01/2009 16:31

My DD sleeps with a teddy at home (usually squashed as tightly to her face as she can get it). Before she started nursery at 8 months, I bought her a giraffe so that she could have something to cuddle in her cot there. The staff there said that was a great idea and advised me to sleep with it for the week before she started. So, I slept with a cuddly giraffe stuffed down my pyjama top for a week (much to DH's amusement) and it's been nice for DD to have something to cuddle that smells of mummy/home.

Original poster

Libralovesbiscuits1975 · 08/01/2009 16:37

bettymum that's fabulous idea. DS doesn't have a teddy but I wonder if a muslin would do the trick.

OP posts:

stealthsquiggle · 08/01/2009 16:41

I stuck my nose in to see if I could be of any help, but compared to what others have said my DC have had sudden (not much settling in) but easy (no major problems) introductions to nursery at 4 and 6 months respectively.

I would definitely endorse the comfort object/animal though - both DS and DD had various comfort objects and felt much more secure when they went in clutching animal/snuggle cloth.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread