Am I being unreasonable to expect a bit more quality in my local nurseries?

[BelleEpoque]

I am so worried about finding decent childcare for when I go back to work, that I can't sleep. There are 4 local nurseries that have been ruled out for one reason or another.

First one: went to see it a year ago when i was pregnant and seemed ok, had a good ofsted. So we registered to go on the waiting list. It was the first one we saw and now my baby's here I am a lot more in tune with her needs, and couldn't remember if the baby room was as bright, spacious and baby friendly as I would be happy with. So I called today and spoke to the manager, and asked her if I could see the baby room again it was a year ago since a last saw it. She was so unhelpful, and said "well nothings changed", her whole attitude was just wrong from the outset. She said she couldn't show me around until 9 Jan. I asked if it was possible to see it sooner as I wanted to pay my month's fee in advance to secure the place but just needed to be 100% sure first. And as I was going back to work in Feb, I needed to have arranged childcare by Jan. She just refused to let me see it before then saying she was too busy. Then I asked if I could see the menus. Not until the 9 Jan she told me. I said to her that if I was going to pay a month's fee now to secure the place, asking what they were going to feed my daughter was a completely legitimate question to have answered now. But she wouldn't send me the menus or let me come in to see them. It was a completely exasperating conversation.

2nd place: menu had sausages, chocolate cake and fish and chips on it. The manager told me the chocolate cake didn't have sugar in it, then said, well maybe a bit. Her words: "it's good for their development to know the difference between different tastes, like chocolate and lemon", "you're worrying too much, she'll eat what she wants when she's older anyway"

3rd place: have ruled out due to what other people have told me. Their food is rubbish, and one friend went to see it, was told by a member of staff about one of the kids "oh that little boy is the naughty one and we call him toad". Shocking!

4th place: have heard good things about it, but it has an 18 month waiting list, not surprising when you consider what the other local nurseries are like.

There are no other nurseries that are local to us and now I am looking for a childminder. Am I unreasonable to expect a bit more quality in this area?

The best advice I got from a relative who has worked in childcare is that if there is any reluctance to let you go in and see the nursery during its working day, they are trying to hide something.

I know it's an extra stress, but if the second nursery is otherwise good, have you thought about asking if you can send in your own food? Alternatively, could you ask them to e.g. only give your child fruit or yoghurt for dessert? If you had any dietary requirements e.g. food allergies, they would have to help you out.

The childminder route or a nanny share sounds like your best bet for now, unless you could look for a nursery nearer to your work. Get your name down on the waiting list too - you may find that you get a place more quickly if other children leave or if others on the waiting list have found an acceptable alternative.

Good luck!

The not letting you in is very worrying - cancel your place there asap!
Sausages etc - unless they are having them every day I think you need to step back a bit on that one! Children need fatty and food and food high in energy. What was the rest of the menu like? But more importantly what was the nursery like - is it a possibility? You have to bear something in mind though - nobody is going to look after your child exactly as you do. Using childcare involves compromises and cost. You have to work out your bottom line and stick to that - so for me I was looking for something safe, spacious and with carers who were switched on. This is what I get at our nursery and lots more beside thankfully. YANBU in expecting more - certainly from the first nursery.

If you aren't happy with the quality of very major aspects of a nursery (ie food) you won't be happy with the nursery.

I am not a fan of nurseries - I have never seen or heard of one that would meet my expectations. I would look for a CM.

Yes we are going to look for a childminder. The 2nd nursery's menu wasn't all bad and there were very good things about it. But it was also the manager's attitude when I questioned the not so good things. I felt like she was trying to fob me off. And when she said, "well she'll eat what she wants anyway when she;s older", I thought she had completely missed the point and didn't understand the importance of setting good eating habits and attitudes early, which is a bit worrying for a childcare professional to think like that. It made me question her whole ability/experience in childcare.

I know I am not going to find a replica of myself to care for my daughter (that would be great eh, a clone of myself to look after her!). We did actually find a lovely childminder and were going to go with her, but then she called and said she had to have an operation and she wouldn't be available until May. SO I know you can find good people, just have to keep looking!!

I just wanted a rant really, as I think it's such a shame that some nurseries don't come up to scratch, they are such an important service for working families.