Does your nursery make sure your child is clean when you pick him/her up?

[BigHotMama]

Thinking of changing nurseries as ds is constantly having poo accidents at nursery and I have asked them so many times to put a nappy on him if he looks like he needs a poo or tells them he needs one. (He wont poo on pot only wee's at moment.)

Went to pick up ds (2.2) from nursery today to find he had had a poo accident earlier on. The person changing him just gathered the dirty clothes and one dirty trainer, and put them in a bag without even swilling the poo off? It literally took me 1 minute to clean his one shoe but I feel that they just aren't doing their job and surely they should be cleaning it off while its fresh and before it goes hard? (sorry if tmi)

And to top it off they put him in someone else's top which looked like it had been puked on and was smelly. I later found his clean cardigan screwed up in a corner which they could have put on him instead of this smelly top.

Also his face was caked in hard snot as he has a bit a cold so they cant even wipe his nose if its dripping? Another child came talking to me and his nose was dripping into his mouth and nobody even looked bothered??

I feel quite sad and angry that I didn't say something at the time but I feel like I'm always having to speak to the manager and now she is leaving, maybe I need to change nurserys.

Is this type of stuff normal or am I over reacting??

My DS is usually fairly dirty - snot, food, glitter etc and that is usually the sign of a fab day

he has had various incidents with poo/wee and i have to say the nursery nurses always clean him/clothes as best they can

nursery usually have a stash of clean, spare clothes as well

don't think you are over reacting

what other issues have you had? sounds like this may be the final straw?

My boys are never in that much of a state. DS2 has had the odd poo explosion out of his nappy and the clothes were bagged but pretty vile. However, I don't have a problem with that - more important that the children are clean and not covered in poo/snot/pukey clothes.

I'd be

Dont mind food glitter paint etc but its a constant poo battle - they dont seem to listen to me.

He has also been bitten twice on his arm over past few months.

The main girls who work there just seem disinterested and a bit lifeless tbh.

He only goes for 2 mornings a week but lately when getting collected he has done a poo and sometimes looks like tis been there a while as its dried onto his skin?

Today my dh came with me and he was disgusted and wants to change asap. I suppose I just sometimes put up with it, but he wont, so looks like may have to find new place.
Feels like ds is being a bit neglected or not being noticed when he needs toilet.

Sounds disgusting esp the bit about putting him in a sicky top! The snot should be wiped but I can understand why with so many children with runny noses the one who came to you hadn't been wiped straight away but should be done asap. They should put him a in nappy or pull up for poohs imo. Not sure about the pooh covered clothes tbh I haven't had to deal with that yet (as a childminder) I have put clothes covered in sick straight in a bag though because I was concentrating on cleaning the child while mum was on her way and also the less time spent dealing with sick the less chance of me and my family being ill too.

if the staff seem uninterested then it is time to move on

if you aren't happy with the care, and things haven't improved when you have mentioned it then you need to move

BUT would put something in writing to the manager so they can get it sorted for the other children

Will definately be speaking to the manager and let them know I'm considering moving. They need a bomb up their arse!

Gutted new nursery near us is full so may have to hang on in there for a while.

Yuck. This sounds dangerously unhygienic, and deeply uncaring towards your poor DS. I would not be able to leave my child in care of such poor standards.

My daughter and her peers had wee/poo accidents in their first year at pre-school (2 and 3 year olds) and they always were washed and changed into clean clothing (that the school provided), and their soiled clothing put in a plastic bag. Parents were expected to wash the school clothing and return it in a bag the next day.

This topic brings back memories of my own experiences with a particular pre-school childcare facility regarding a soiling incident.

In my dd's case, I already had concerns a couple of months prior to this similar incident of yours, so I had already booked a place at the alternative nursery in which she remained until starting school.

I collected dd, then 3 years and 4 months, (and had been toilet trained for over 8 months with no toileting accidents) she was in her spare set of clothes. Fair enough. However, when we returned home, I opened her rucksack to find that her 'soiled' clothes had been rolled into a ball and simply stuffed into her rucksack - not even in a polythene bag - and had smeared the side of the rucksack and other items. The smell made me wretch; it had clearly been in the rucksack for a few hours.

When I asked dd what happened, she told me that she had soiled herself as as a result of witnessing something that had occured at nursery (that made her really scared and upset). The "something" was a seperate incident that has been reported to OFTSED.

Anyway, whilst happily settled in her new nursery, the previous nursery had the cheek to ask me to state the reasons (in writing) for her withdrawal etc (they were being difficult - it's a long story). Amongst many complaints I wrote down, I mentioned that I was not impressed that her soiled clothes had been stuffed directly into her rucksack without being placed in a polythene bag first.

"It's our policy that we do not have polythene bags on the premises" was the answer. Funny that because in their own printed "Policies" manual given to parents at the start, it clearly says "soiled clothing will be wrapped in a polythene bag and returned to parents upon collection." I pointed this out to the manager and I never heard from that place again.

So in answer to your questions:
Is this type of stuff normal?
It should not be, but I know of a dozen similar cases

Am I over reacting?
No. You are not over reacting - but then again, I am rather biased due to my experience as described above.

'When I asked dd what happened, she told me that she had soiled herself as as a result of witnessing something that had occured at nursery (that made her really scared and upset). The "something" was a seperate incident that has been reported to OFTSED.'

Familybliss, your little girl witnessed something at nursery that was so frightnening that she pooed herself? My heart actually broke for her when I read that.

I've been a nursey nurse for 14 years and I am disgusted by both your experience and that of the op. I am acutely aware of the pressures and time constraints nursery workers face every day but it is not an excuse for sloppy attitudes and general disinterest in the chidren you are supposed to be caring for.

OP, your ds's key worker should be alert to his needs, particularly as he is still potty training. If you have asked tham to put your ds in a nappy to poo, that is what they should do. If he does poo in his pants he should be changed asap and put in clean clothes, not dirty ones. It's not a nice job to deal with pooey clothes but they should clean them off as best as they can, certainly removing anything 'solid' and bagging them up for you to wash. Shoes should have been cleaned if at all possible.

Nose wiping is a constant problem at nursey, you really are wiping all the time, or at least you should be.

I would have concerns over the level of care you ds is receiving, bighotmamma, it does not sound anywhere near good enough.

Thanks for all your replies, it sickens me to think that my ds is being neglected and other lo's on here.

We are actually paying for this?

I am on the case of writing a complaint now and will be finding another place for him, feel so let down and that I chose this particular place over 3 others that I now know have a better reputation.

A good friend of mine who is also a nursery nurse, and fantastic at her job, has also reassured me this should not be happening and to take action asap.

Can I just reinforce that this is NOT normal nursery behaviour - it breaks my heart to hear about these places getting away with such bad care.

Our nursery keep DS very clean where it matters, i.e. nose, bottom, hands - his clothes get covered in glitter and paint and mud, but that's the sign of a good day!

Any soiled clothes have always been rinsed and placed in a carrier bag before being put in his bag.

His nappy is always changed just before I pick him up, and checked before I take him home.

All children will get a bit of snot on their face at some point, it would take Superman to keep up with their noses, but the OPs nursery sounds downright neglectful.

"feel so let down and that I chose this particular place over 3 others that I now know have a better reputation."

Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it?!

The problem, IMO, with nurseries, is that they are only as good as their current staff. When I initially placed my dd at the nursery, it was perfect. Such an incident would never have happened. But then the staff changed, the nursery shut down for a month, and when it reopened with a new manager, it was not the same. It was then, that I began to notice a few things that made me uneasy, but I loathed the idea of changing nursery, especially with the recommendation about consistency etc. But when push came to shove, I did indeed move dd to another nursery, and the whole family, and dd in particular, was happier for it. We never had a repeat incident.

The point am I trying to make: don't beat yourself up on the choice of nursery you made. None of us are clarevoyants; we cannot see into the future. How were you to know this would happen? You placed your trust with these people and THEY let YOU down.

I'm sending you lots of hugs. I hope you get things sorted - I'm getting all emotional now!

Keep us posted! Good night.

Tell me about it FB, glad your dd had a better time of it at her new place, sounds like you did the right thing.

We never had any problems until ds moved into the next room 2-3's and the staff are different and dont seem to be as happy to see him walk through the door as the others were. Took him a good few months to settle into this room and now I think I know why.

Hoping to ring 3 other nurseries tomorrow fingers crossed they will have availability and we can get him in there asap. Will hate having to take ds to nursery now knopwing they may have read my letter I'm sending tomorrow.