DS has been bitten at least 3 times in the last few months at nursery - should we complain?

[ceebee74]

Although the nursery staff won't tell us which child it is that is biting him, DS does tell us and it is the same child each time - we have had 3 accident report forms so know it has definitely happened 3 times and DS has told us on another 1 other occasion that 'M' had bitten him although when DH asked the day after, the staff knew nothing about it.

Will complaining actually do anything about this as surely the staff must be trying to tackle the behaviour of the other child?

It is definately worth discussing this with the nursery ,but making a complaint IMO is going a bit far . Lots of children bite, as long as it is being dealt with properly, it will stop ( speaking as the mother of 2 non biters and one rottweiler biter

I'm on the other side of this dilemma as my DD has been biting at nursery (I did check your profile and we aren't in the same area!)

The nursery isn't allowed to tell the parents which child has bitten/ been bitten, and I've been very glad of that. It's bad enough that she's biting, without being "attacked" by the other parents in the car park.

In one way it might do some good to complain, depending on what is actually happening in your nursery and the circumstances leading to the bite. It may be that they can keep the other child away from yours? OR it may be that what is actually happening is that your child is intimidating this other child so that he/ she feels threatened and bites, which I believe may be happening to my DD. (as one particular child- older and bigger- shouts "no" at my DD every morning when we arrive and grabs all the toys...)

Please don't blame the other parents- who probably feel just as upset as you.

My dd2 17mo has only been bitten twice at nursery. At the same age my dd1 had been bitten several times and had done the biting more often still . In retrospect she has always been a little madam and I'm sure provoked the bites whereas dd2 is only now becoming a little madam..

Don't get me wrong - I don't blame the other parents at all and I know my DS is probably giving as good as he gets in other ways.

I didn't mean to come across as sanctimonious about this but just wondered how many times we just accept it as one of those things that happens when your child is in nursery.

Message withdrawn

No, you don't complain. It happens. If you don't like it take your child out and homeschool. Otherwise accept that other children will be nasty to your child and your child will be nasty to other children. It's an unfortunate fact of life. Of course, if it's a regular thing, like several times a week, then complain because the nursery should be dealing with it, but if it's a few times in a few months, then leave it. It will be hell for the parent of the biter, believe me. When my son was at nursery I was just relieved when he got bitten because he wasn't doing the biting (happened several times during his nursery years, though thankfully not too often).

What bugs me about nurseries is that kids can be kicking the hell out of other kids and nothing will be said to the parent unless it's a regular thing, but a child bites once and all hell is let loose. Beats me why, being nasty is being nasty as far as I am concerned!

I'd complain. He should be safe and I assume you're paying a lot of money for this care?

After DD had been bitten for the fifth time, I did have a quiet word with her room supervisor saying that we were getting upset about the amount of times. It was one child and I did also ask if DD had done anything to provoke it. They have been lovely and have made a bigger effort to keep them apart. I have since sussed out which child it is and they have been having problems with him anyway.

Biting is a natural part of child development for some children - i.e. if they are teething or at the mouthing stage - which can last past two years old - they see their goal and just latch on - I've seen it lots of times and until the phase has passed I'm afraid it can be difficult to control.

Intervention is also a key factor and a child that is known to bite does need to be watched more closely - the biter's parents must feel pretty awful as must the child's parents.

Also, when the child does bite, if old enough he/she must be told that what they are doing is wrong and to give the other child a hug.