My 3and a half years old daughter started a nursery three weeks ago. She went to a montessori school from 12-3 in the afternoon. Which said the kids were free to do what they liked.
She is very attached to me. During the first week i had to sit in the hallway(not in the classroom). From time to time she would come to tell me what she did and went back to the class. as time goes by, she would come back for longer period of time, i had to suggest her what to do. no one came to bring her back to the class. Her enthusiasm has dropped from very excited to zero over a period of a week.
she went into school at 12 and walked into other 15 full time kids who already sat down and started eating lunch. On day one she didn't know where to sit. when she asked, the teachers told her to sit anywhere she liked. the problem was there was no space left. she went to sit on her own. then one of the teacher told her with a loud voice that it was very sad to sit by oneself and told her to go sit with other kids. my daughter pointed out that there was no seat left, so the teacher asked one kid if she'd like to move so she could squeeze another chair in the table. the kid said no, so my daughter end up sitting by herself. it was repeting experience every lunch time. That one particular teacher always handled my daughter clingyness in a harsh way. She also liked to say "look at other kids,...", "everyone is doing it" "you make me very sad".
One thing i found out about the place was that since they rented a church hall, they had to clear up the space every day. so around 2.30 the staff would busily start putting things away, no more books, no more drawing,... then at 3pm, they would sing "back against the wall, back against the wall, back against the wall..." Then they line up the kids in the little hallway with their back against the wall. That would be the time the headteacher appeared to open the doors and called out names one by one. She would shake hands each kid and said someting like "we had a very good day today, didn't we".
On following monday, it was a real struggle to get her to get out of the house. On wednesday, she cried her head off when she met the teacher she didn't like at the entrance. The more the teacher tried to force her in, the more my daughter got panic. All these was witnessed by my partner in horror.(he happened to drop us off that day). Eventually i got her inside and that was the last day. She ended her day with a hysterical scream and cry(she never did such thing) as i was sent to the other side of the locked door. after a while the teacher that she didn't like, came to see what was going on and then kept saying to my daughter "one, two ,three, you must stop crying"... that didn't work. The situation got worse and worse to unhealthy state. I demanded them to open the door.
My daughter said it was more fun at home with me. However she still liked going to school, but not that school, but she didn't like that one teacher.
From the place where i sat, I personally don't like the feel of the place. the staff were in a rush all the time. sometimes they were not even nice to each other. the kids were quite peaceful though, no screaming.
Since then my daughter has acted strangely, more attached, sometimes emotionally unstable(never happened before). She will even cry sadly if i get out of the car and close the door.
Am i doing a wrong thing pulling her out of nursery? Is this normal in school in UK? My mom has a kindergarten, but it is completely different. Should i let her face it to toughen her up? I am very confused now.