Had very upsetting experience at nursery today - support/reassurance needed

[onepieceoflollipop]

I have used the same nursery for almost 4 years, and have been extremely happy and confident with the care provided. dd1 is about to start school and dd2 has been there for 3 months now. Generally the staff are very affectionate and the management approachable. I have never made a complaint about anything; in fact have been very happy with the nursery.

This morning I had a very distressing experience. I took dd2 in (13 months) as usual. There is a new member of staff (T) who last week looked quite irritable and unhappy but last week I kind of thought that she was new and just settling in.

This morning we arrived and a baby - approx 1 year was crying at the gate. T was feeding a baby in very disinterested manner, scowling and generally looking p*d off. She muttered quite aggressively (imo) at the baby to move - the baby afaik is too young to walk or indeed to understand her instruction.

What really distressed me was another new baby, just toddling. He was very distressed, crying, she was supposed to be looking after him but twice lifted him very roughly and angrily by the arm. Trying to "make" him stay on the mats and play. He was so upset and I was shaking with anger and distress. I was also very that she was doing this so openly in front of me.

I immediately alerted the Senior in the room - she is lovely btw - and told her I didn't want to leave dd2 as I felt so distressed. She told me she would inform the manager immediately. (which she did). I also spoke to the manager (and later the owner).

They have moved this person from the baby unit. I asked for reassurance that she will not be left unsupervised with children and that they monitor her further - they have assured me that this will happen. They spent a lot of time with me this morning and again at pick up time to reassure me it was being dealt with. I got the impression that they are treating it very seriously. All of the other staff (most of whom I know well) have been lovely to me - I suspect that some know "officially" and others through the grapevine what has happened.

I haven't posted in AIBU because I feel too fragile but I guess that is what I am asking?

Well done for complaining and it is very good to hear that the nursery acted straight away.

I'd be so thankful to you if the baby or toddler had been mine - well done for having the guts and conviction to act on what you saw.
I hope I'd do the same thing in your shoes.

Well done. I am sorting out nursery at the moment for my baby and I would be so gratfeul to you for doing something like that. It makes me so sad that people treat children in that manner. Why choose to work in childcare if you have that attitude (saying that, I am a teacher and have come across some teachers who treat kids like crap...)

Was she on her own with the babies? Was she qualified? How many babies were in the room?

You acted appropriately, well done. Others would have just left it.
YANBU

I am glad you said something. I would hope that if another parent saw my child being handled roughly by a staffmember that they would say something. Well done you.

" When I asked the Senior in the room to speak with her, one of the other staff seemed to be giving me "encouraging looks" as if to reinforce that I was not imagining it and I was doing the right thing.
ALSO
The owner however voiced her opinion that they were wondering if T was suited to childcare...I expressed that ime (I am a nurse) that unfortunately some healthcare and childcare settings do occasionally attract the odd unsuitable person.

The owner expressed her concern that it was only last week that T started the job and it was worrying that she seemed to find it so difficult. " ......

Sorry to go against the tide of thinking here but I am absolutely appalled that it took a parent to act before anything was done here .

Many people choose a nursery over a CM or Nanny setting believing in the "safety in numbers" aspect.
Clearly the other PROFESSIONAL staff could see there was an issue and yet she was still allowed to work so closely with these vulnerable children ..

To say that these staff were giving you "encouraging looks" to me is ridiculous.. I personally would be demanding why they did not intervene directly themselves to ensure the welfare and safety of the children - that is what they are there for.

It seems to me they were totally failing in their duty. Were they just going to let it continue in the hope that someone else would chance upon it and act ???

I would be worried leaving my child there .. what if her replacement is as bad and the staff again stand about waiting for someone, anyone, somewhere ?? to come along and sort it out ..

I agree to some extent babbi

good point babbi, another concern i have is where has she gone to now....another nursery?

This is just horrific! Is this person still there?! And that the staff knew about her and did nothing?! What else have they not acted on, that you do not know about it.

You did the right thing but I would strongly suggest to put it in writting and ensure that offsted knows about it. Plus if I was that boys mum I would want to know about it as I suspect so would you....

you did the right thing. what the assistant did to that child is physical and emotional abuse, poor baby must have been terrified.

you may have helped to prevent a serious incident happening twords the baby by the assistant.

Bumping this up as was wondering what happened? Hope it got sorted.