Oh crap! I need to find a nursery by 31 July! Help!

[RGPargy]

DD is 7 months and on 31 July i am meant to be returning to work. MIL offered to look after DD but over the last few months the build up to my return to work has proved too much for her and she's now dosed up on valium by the doctor for stress!

Obviously we now need to find a day care nursery but i'm so out of touch with it all (DS is 18!) that i dont know how to go about it and what to look for etc.

Obviously i will phone them and ask to look around (if they have places, that is). I think what i am asking is if anyone can shed some light on things they do and dont do (health and safety and all that) these days.

I am BLW so i will need to know if this is going to be a problem (but maybe only they can answer that!).

Oh hell, i'm rambling, very sorry. Just found out about MIL so my head's in a bit of panic about finding care for DD. I really didn't want to go down the nursery route but now we dont have a choice. I think i'd prefer a nursery to childminder tho.

also, how do childcare vouchers work? Are they only for people on low incomes?

TIA!

:/

Poor you, what a nightmare.

All nurseries will follow the same rules (at moment national standards) and from Sept The Early Years Foundation Stage. You can download their OFSTED report from www.ofsted.gov.uk. If you put in your postcode it will bring up your most local (although in my experience they are not always a true reflection on what happens). Best to visit and see what feel you get.

Re: childcare vouchers. Anyone can use them providing them would not take your hourly rate below minimum wage. You and you DH could use them if offered by your employer. Can use up to £243 each, they are deducted from you salary and paid to nursery via voucher or BACS, hence saving you tax and NI on that amount.

Hope that helps

Thanx for that. I've been looking at the Ofsted site but will deffo phone up a few and go and check them out.

I never knew that's how childcare vouchers worked. I thought they were literally vouchers that paid for childcare and worked in the same way that, say, a gift voucher would work lol.

are you going back to work in medway or maidstone, just I can recommend 2 nurseries in Maidstone (mine go to my Mums/MIL one day a week but friends use nurseries)

You also need to check what 'voucher scheme' your employer uses and make sure that its compatable with the nursery you choose

Unfortunately i'm going back to work in poxy London, but thankfully it's only 2 days a week for the first month and then 3 days a week from September.

Whereabouts in London are you looking?

Things to look out for (imo) are:

how much space and what kind of stimulation the children have/are getting
check the balance of staff between older and younger people (better to have a mix) and ask about turnover of staff
look at whether there is any outside space
whether food is cooked on site and what kind of things the children eat
what kind of reporting of progress/day you'll receive
whether the have any other communications with parents and whether they hold parent's evenings
what is provided in fees (nappies, milk) or if you have to provide anything yourself,
what childcare vouchers they are set up to take (you then need to check with work what scheme they run as there are a few)
what settling in period they suggest and how they run these.

I BLW DS (he also went at 7 months) but I let them feed him however they found easiest (sorry terrible grammar) and they soon picked up that he wanted to feed himself and he was good with cutlery so they very quickly let him do that.

Thanx for that Sunshine. Lots of info there for me to think about. Think i'll write it all down and take the list with me.

I'm looking at nurseries locally to me in Kent, but am going back to work in London.

I want to keep nursery local as no doubt London nurseries will cost alot more than local ones and i dont fancy trecking up to London with a baby and then having to drop her off at nursery. I'd never get to work on time! Plus if i keep it local, DP can collect her as he gets home much earlier than me.

I'm really worried about putting DD in a nursery or any other childcare. What if her emotional needs are not met?? What if they just dump her on the floor and leave her to get on with it and she feels lonely?? What if she sits in a pooey nappy for hours?!! What if they give her something to eat and she chokes but they dont see it?? What if she falls from her highchair? UGH!! I'm a nightmare!! I really cant bear the thought of my baby being cared for by a stranger.

My baby is also 7 months and has been full time at nursery since he was 14 weeks. I agree that you should visit a few so that you have a fair comparison and choose the one you are most comfortable with. The atmosphere can vary enormously between nurseries.

In my limited experience I found that DS was extremely relaxed and comfortable during our visit to the nursery I liked best, making my decision easier!

It has worked really well for us so try not to worry too much. Our nursery and our future one (we are moving soon) are keen to follow our routine and accommodate our wishes as much as possible. I'm sure this will be the case re BLW wherever you choose.

RGPargy I never had any qualms about putting DS in nursery and I think it's been good for him - he's a very socialable, independent and a great communicator (he's 2.4 now) but it is easy to worry. You need to make sure you're comfortable with where you leave him. Make sure you'll get to spend some time talking about your DD with her key worker. One great things at DS's current nursery is that they will regularly tell me anecdotes of things he's done or said and this really helps me feel comfortable and part of his day.

One other thing to consider is how they are with regards to you turning up - both the nurseries DS has been to (we moved house when he was 14m) had an open door policy and I've turned up at all times to pick him up and drop him off. I've never seen anything to worry me and that also gives me some comfort.

In terms of emotional needs, we've been lucky that DS has really clicked with all his key workers and has been really loved and looked after. In fact, his current key worked loves him to bits, sometimes I think she favours him a little too much, which might be storing up problems for later.

Good luck. If you were in South West London I would recommend DS's nursery wholeheartedly. It's tough but there are some great places out there.

Thanx Sweetpea, thanx Sunshine.

In my heart i know that she will be fine as DS went to nursery (although from about 18 months) which he enjoyed!

I've made appointments to go and see a couple of nurseries already. One's tomorrow morning and the other one is on Monday.

Hey RGP - I remember you from the antenatal boards! Hope things are good! I am in the exact same boat as you. DS starts nursery in a few weeks - will be 12 months when he starts going 3 days a week and am having the exact same feeings you are! But I have been reassured by many friends that after the settling in period, they will be absolutely fine! I think the nursery thing is harder on us than on our DC's!

Hi dal!!

Thankfully MIL is now making a very speedy recovering so it looks like she will be having DD after all. Massive sighs of relief all round i think!

As it turns out it MIL's illness was nothing to do with me going back to work and her having to look after DD and i have every confidence that she is the perfect person to look after DD.

I did go and look at one nursery on Friday but i wasn't impressed with it at all! I'm going to see a childminder this afternoon, but mainly to see if she's ok to use as back up, should MIL fall ill or want a break etc.

I do agree that it's harder on us than the DCs tho!!

Hi

That is great news about your MIL. What a relief! Can you believe so much time has passed. I have very fond memories of sharing yours and others pregnancy cravings! Seems so long ago!

Sorry for thread hijack!

Haha!! Yeah it's been aaaaages hasn't it!! Do you have any post-pg cravings now? I'm trying to be good on Weight Witches (i've lost 17.5lbs) but tonight is my treat night and i'm having a Cadbury's Creme Egg Twisted thing. Yummy!!

Nooooo..no cravings for me....am back to pre preggers weight through strict dieting.

Hope you enjoyed your creme twist bar..

Oooh well done!! I'm also back to pre-pg weight, actually a little below, which is great!

As for the Creme Egg Twist bar.... meh.... it was just like eating a bar of sugar and if i'm perfectly honest I didn't enjoy it that much!!

Well done you too!!

You didn't enjoy it....you've changed.....

I know, I'm ashamed.

MIL brought one round for me this morning too. Although it was great i know i will end up eating it lol.