best approach to settling in.....??

[rita2007]

my boy went to nursery today for 2nd time and i was to leave him for 2 hrs but went to check on him afer 45 min and heard him cry like never b4. felt so bad....he's such a social baby but was so upset like how could they abandon me here.....

what is the best approach? do i just let him cry there and hope he will stop sooner rather than later?

How old is he Rita? He might need another settling in session with you there as well before he's left again.

he is 10 mths today. i checked on him at 10 and he was still crying on and off but 100 times better and i have just called nursery now and they said he stopped crying and is playing now. do you think they are just telling a white ly to make mommy feel better and let them get on with it?

My DS is 13mo and has been at nursery for about 3 months now. He started off like that, crying on and off, and still sometimes has days like that (espec if teething). I am sure they would be telling you the truth though - he is probably playing now and happy as larry. When I left him today he wailed (just back after 2 week holiday) but when I peeked through the door he had stopped almost immediately. I would say try to do as many settling in visits as you can before you build up to a day or whatever, but don't hang around you will unsettle him more. Just say Bye, big kiss then go somewhere for coffee!!! Oh and don't worry if he cries when he sees you to pick him up, its very normal!!

Sorry, its been 2 months not 3 he has been back. I think. My brain not working!!!

Poor poor you. I remember this. My DD was 11 months when I started her at nursery and it was hell for 2 weeks.

Best approach is to grin and bear it. He will be ok and so will you but it just takes time to get used to it.

I also found that once I went back to work and left her there all day it was easier quicker rather than a few hours here and there.

She's now been there for 10 months and loves it. Her social skills and development are amazing and she thrives there. It will get better!

it is a long time to leave him on only the second visit IMO

with DS his first two settling sessions were 20 mins long only, and then building up

on the third i left him longer, but stayed in the staff room so they could come and get me if they needed to

it is hard but he will be ok

Poor you. I remember going through this pain when I settled in my DD (11 months at the time).
Our settling in period was two weeks. I pulled her out after the first week because I just was not happy for her to cry and I felt I was training a dog. (Sorry to be brutal).
After a week, we started the settling in again, but under my and DD's terms which meant that she wasn't left to cry for long periods. My plan was if she cried after I said goodbye, I would still leave but come back after closing the door and counting to 10. In the end, I only had to do this once. She would whinge if I got up to go, but stop and start playing once I left the room (I spied on her).
I disagree that hanging around unsettles them more. IMO, hanging around unsettles the staff more, but makes your baby feel that nursery is a good place to be in. So, I hung around for an hour or so in the settling in period, playing with her - one time I even hung around for lunch and showed the staff how I settled her for a nap, ad helped them clear up lunch things while she was asleep! (Helped me to understand their routine, and them to understand what DD was used to).
I still hang around with her for a bit when I pick her up and she goes round showing-off all the toys to me.

Different approaches work for different people and different babies; this approached worked for me.

thanks for all the great advice.

the 1st session - me and dr stayed at nursery fr 1 hr.

2nd session - i stayed for 20 min and left him for 1 hour

3rd session - i left him but came back after 1 hr to see him through the window and checked on him every hr by phone. Finally picked him up at 2:30 but not b4 spying on him at about 1pm

today - i am suppose to leave him all day but he was not cyring his eyes out when i left. hopefully it will be a better day. Only thing that worries me is a little girl there who keeps crying and may make him upset....she just got back from holiday so is unsettled.

i just called there now and he is ok and just waiting for the music and sign lady that comes there today. i just hope that other little girl won;t make him and others upset w/ her crying. touch wood all goes well for the day.

mumsnet is so awesome! i would not mind meeting some of you some day....do any of you live in woodford area?