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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

I've got the worse nursery guilt!

13 replies

WheresTheAuPair · 27/06/2008 15:55

My DS is due to start nursery for 2 mornings next week and at first I was all for it and now i'm dreading it. He's 20 months and generally a real pleasure to look after. (i could eat him today in fact ).
I am self employed and until recently only worked in the evenings but at 22 weeks pregnant am finding this a struggle as am so tired by the end of the day now.
I found out last week that I can get 80% help for childcare for 2 mornings a week at nursery. Decided to give it a go so I can work in the daytime instead but feel so guilty now! Baby is due in October so thought it would be better if he started now instead of nearer the time in case he felt like he was being 'pushed out'.

just wish I hadn't signed him up now

He just seems so young....

OP posts:

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StealthPolarBear · 27/06/2008 16:20

He'll love it!

missorinoco · 27/06/2008 16:25

he will (love it). lots of other little ones to watch, new people to coo over him and so many toys. plus a mum with more energy when he gets home.

and i think your idea of starting hiom earlier so he doesn't feel pushed out is a good one too.

Original poster

WheresTheAuPair · 27/06/2008 16:40

I'm hoping he'll love it. Messy play and loads of excited running around with other kids. Its just because i'm his main carer i'm not sure how he'll react to being left on his own.
I hope he'll love it.

OP posts:

missorinoco · 28/06/2008 15:23

how did he go?

giddykipper · 28/06/2008 15:27

Be prepared for the fact that he will probably cry when you drop him off for the first few times. He will very quickly settle, I promise! DS made me feel so guilty to start with when I had to leave him crying (purposeful kiss, bye bye, have a lovely day, out the door, burst into tears in the car!) but 2/3 months on he genuinely loves it and has his arms out for the women to take him when we arrive. He does so many more things that I would do with him - he made rice crispie cakes on Friday, he's only 14 months ffs! I usually get at least one painting a week too.

Original poster

WheresTheAuPair · 28/06/2008 16:51

he starts on monday for the 1st of 3 1hr taster sessions then properly begins on Thursday. He's doing thur and fri mornings from then on....still feel guilty!

giddykipper did you start with mornings then build up?

OP posts:

giddykipper · 28/06/2008 19:11

We started really slowly. He had 3 1hr sessions to start with, I was with him for the first one. He was fine with those. Then I left him for a full morning, then for a full afternoon (it started to go wrong at this point) then he started on his full days. He only does three days per week. I think it's a novelty to start with, then they realise they're being left, then they realise it's actually not that bad after all! It may seem really hard but I honestly think the best approach is a swift handover and no faffing around. There was another toddler settling in at the same time as my DS and her mother was hanging around trying to shush her to settle. It was just making it worse. I think if you're anything but matter-of-fact about it they pick up on your weakness and get far more wound up about it. It's really hard to be tough though when you know all they want is a cuddle!

I've just reread that and I've made it sound a lot worse than it really is!

StressTeddy · 28/06/2008 19:15

Remember - quick like a plaster
That's how I always left my ds when he first started nursery

You can cry outside and feel dreadful but don;t waiver or it'll do them no good

I promise you it gets better

Original poster

WheresTheAuPair · 01/07/2008 15:12

Well its day 2 of the taster sessions here- he was clingy for the first 30 mins then fine while he was left for 30 mins. As soon as he heard his keyworker say 'time to go and get mum' he burst into tears tho

Tomorrow is the acid test- 1 hr on his own.

Its hard because ideally i'd start him when he's 2 but that's when the new baby is due so I think it would be too much for him to deal with all at once.

OP posts:

babbi · 01/07/2008 21:35

Give yourself a break and stop beating yourself up !! Its only two mornings a week to go and have fun with some friends . Hes a lucky little boy as he sounds like he has a mother who will spoil him the minute he comes home .
And also make sure to take care of yourself and his little bro or sis xxxxx

anniemac · 02/07/2008 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SlartyBartFast · 02/07/2008 14:51

i am sure you have made the right decision

Original poster

WheresTheAuPair · 02/07/2008 15:18

Thanks for your messages- and babbi for giving me a reality check! Well day 3 of induction was hard- had to go in after 15 mins then he was ok while i was there. Then we sent in his friend who is in the room above so he was fine until he had to go after 20 mins or so.
Decided that when he starts for real tomorrow i'll drop him off late and pick up early so he is only there for about 1 1/2 - 2 hrs to start with. Once he had been there (with me) he was fine and having a great time running around so i'm sure once he gets used to the keyworkers and other kids he'll be fine. Its just so heartbreaking!! I'm going to be terrible when he starts school . Done well tho- did my 'cheery mummy' voice and showed no hint of inner turmoil to him (I hope anyway!)

OP posts:

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