Moving nurseries - WWYD?

[HereIAmAlive]

Genuinely torn on a nursery choice and wondering what others would do in this situation...

My daughter (who will be 2 in September) is currently in nursery 5 days a week. The nursery wasn't our first choice but the baby room in the nearest nursery to home had really limited capacity and didn't have a space available for her, so we ended up on the waiting list there and registered her with a different nursery, further away from home but it had a nice feel and the staff seemed great. She's been there for almost a year and loves it.

The other nursery offered us a space in their baby room when one became available but we turned it down as DD had just got nicely settled in her current nursery and we didn't want to disrupt her by moving her - so instead we asked if we could have a space in the toddler room when she turns 2, on the basis that she would be moving rooms at nursery then anyway, so if there's a time to disrupt things with a nursery move that would be it.

We're now getting close to the time when I need to give notice to her current nursery that she'll be leaving, and I'm really wavering over whether or not it's the right thing to do. The reasons we wanted to move her originally were:

1. Nursery is closer to home - 10 minutes walk rather than 20 so much less time out of the working day to do drop-off and pick-up
2. It's also only a couple of minutes away from our nearest train station, so much easier for days when we both have to go into the office (which are likely to be more frequent in the future) - her current nursery is another 20 minutes walk to the nearest station, on top of the 20 minutes it takes to get there from home
3. Being closer to home, we also thought it might be nicer for DD as she starts making friends to be at a nursery where the other kids live nearer to us, and we thought there might be a greater likelihood of nursery friends moving onto the same primary school.

I'm wavering because she loves the nursery she's in so much, and I feel really confident in the care that she's receiving there - the staff are lovely, the management team have been in place for 20+ years and I never worry about her while I'm working. We're also now considering a different school for her than the one we were thinking about when we signed up to nursery, which is actually closer to her current nursery and so I'm wondering whether she'd be better off staying where she is. I also don't want to move her for the selfish reason of making our commutes/working days easier and then feel guilty if she doesn't settle well in the new place (though I should add, she is generally very adaptable and hasn't given me any reason to think she wouldn't eventually settle down and be happy somewhere new).

DH and I are both uncertain about whether moving her is the right thing - he is leaning more towards sticking with the plan, I'm leaning more towards staying at the original nursery, but I think either of us could be persuaded otherwise and we aren't sure how we're going to decide either way.

Sorry for the long post! WWYD if you were in this situation?

Moving her because it’s easier for the commute is a valid reason. How far you have to travel is always a consideration when you’re choosing childcare and schools.

As for Schools, I’d study each of the School’s admission policies before making any decisions. We regularly get 3 applications per place for our local Primary, obviously that leaves a lot of disappointed families.

Nursery also shouldn’t make a difference to which School you apply to. My DC2 didn’t go to the Nursery that most of the pupils in her class went to. I guarantee that within 2 weeks of starting School you won’t know which DC knew one another before and which ones didn’t.

I’d personally go with the one that has the least turnover of staff.

I'd leave her where she is.

It is unusual to have some long serving and experienced staff.
If you really like the Nursery she is in, I would keep her there.

Yes, I would consider a shorter walk a real bonus, but, as you've managed so far, I wouldn't under estimate the value of what sounds like an excellent Nursery.

I certainly wouldn't consider 'making friends' as this isn't really how 2 yr olds operate. At this stage they play with whoever is near them. Many, many dc start school without previously knowing anyone else. That wouldn't factor in to my thinking at all.

I think I would leave her there tbh.

From some experience with children in the same area and schooling;
DS went to school with 3 others from the same nursery, all were there from being just turned 2.
They don’t play with each other now as they’ve all made new friends.
his class had children from alot of different nurseries, some came not knowing anyone, you wouldn’t be able to guess who.
children in the area, we see them at the park occasionally otherwise not kept in touch.

shorter walk and to train station sounds appealing but I would take an excellent nursery over abit further of a walk any day.

long standing staff is so rare and I think that alone speaks volumes.

Thanks everyone for the thoughts, I really appreciate it.

I should add, there's nothing about the new nursery that makes me think it won't be a safe and caring setting for her, I guess it's just a relative unknown quantity compared to where she is now.

The reason I mentioned making friends is that I'm not really sure at what point any sort of "social life" away from nursery might start - she's my first so I haven't had to navigate that before! I'm sure once she's in school there will be lots of birthday parties etc. that start cropping up on weekends but I don't really know if people generally organise that type of thing before their children have started school (I wasn't intending to do it for her and to stick with family birthday celebrations until she's at school, but no idea if others think like that or not!) - so wasn't sure if being in nursery with kids who live within a few minutes' walk of home might be a benefit or not.

I thought at the time we signed up that switching nurseries would be a no-brainer but it's really not!

Does the primary school she will likely go to have a preschool? Lots of children move from nursery to preschool age 3, so you could possibly leave her where she is for now and move her at 3? Just something to consider.

(Just as an aside, some kids really do make friends at nursery. 6yo DD is still very attached to some of the children she was with from 1-4, despite being in different settings for 2 years now.)

Also our nursery had loads of parties starting at age 2 but really ramping up at 3. I think it can be area/cohort dependent though.

Parties started for us from 3.
reception is mental for parties

If we send her to the primary school nearest to home, that doesn't have a pre-school so that's a definite start at 4 (though as she's a September baby she'll be almost 5 when she starts school). The school we are now considering is an independent school which also has a nursery - it's only open during term times though, so we probably wouldn't move her into that as it would leave us with a childcare headache during school holidays that we could avoid by just keeping her in a normal nursery.

Can't wait for that then!😬

So she potentially has 3 more years at nursery? I would look around the local one again just to confirm you like the 2yo and preschool rooms, and then move her. Get it over with.

Children definitely do make friends from as young as baby room, they prefer to play with some children over others the same as when they are older.

They are also very accepting of new children at that age and they make new friends quickly too.

The move will be easier the younger they are as especially by three their friendships do start to firm up.

Think we had 30 full class parties in Reception for our DD.

@Sliperzzzzz Thanks for the thoughts. 😊 So you would prioritise having nursery closer to home? That's the direction my DH is leaning but I'm really struggling as I do like where she is now. Like PPs have suggested, I'm starting to think "well we've made it work up until now so surely we can stick with it"...but also know work circumstances are changing in the next few months which might make it more difficult to carry on as we are. Feels like there is no obvious right answer!

@HereIAmAlive from the perspective of a parent whose child made local friends at nursery and then moved up with them to the local school, yes, it does seem sensible to prioritise that. Other people will have different experiences though, of course. And I can see why you would keep her where she is if you are considering a school close to her current nursery.

One thing I would say, is that cutting down your commute and making your life easier isn't "selfish". The less time you spend commuting the more time you have to focus on fun family stuff, and being less stressed generally makes you a better parent!

Just wanted to post again to say thanks to everyone who took the time to comment and give their perspectives, and to report back on what we decided to do! We have decided to leave her in her current nursery - it will be a bit more tricky to manage on days when both of us have to go into the office but we think we can manage as long as we plan our work diaries a bit more around drop-offs/pick-ups, and it may just mean she goes into nursery for breakfast a bit more often than she does at the moment. We think the possible extra hassle is worth it for keeping her in a care setting that we know and trust - thoughts on this thread were really helpful for me in realising just how important that is to me, so I'm grateful for the input.😊

Thanks for updating.
I hope it all works out for you.