Am I being annoying and problematic?

[annon2367]

Is it normal for nurseries to update the app later in the day rather than as things happen or closer after the time
My DD is 14 months old, and ever since there was an incident where she wasn’t fed lunch after waking from a nap (the nursery acknowledged it was unacceptable), I’ve felt quite anxious about not knowing if she’s eaten.
They often update naps and snacks, but lunch isn’t logged until much later, sometimes after 2pm. By then my lunch break is over, and if I’m working from home I’ve missed the chance to collect her and feed her myself if she’s slept through lunch.
I’ve only called twice in the months she’s been there, but I worry they’re getting annoyed with me asking. They say they update the app while the children are sleeping, but I find it strange that naps and snacks are updated before lunch which is an important meal
Am I being unreasonable and annoying for expecting lunch to be updated earlier if lunch is at 11 and children are asleep by 12
Note- I really do like the staff especially her KW and management. She is thriving but I’m a first time mom and just very anxious

Honestly, I never expected daily updates. Our app didn’t include meals or changes, but activities and developmental milestones. It would usually be updated days or weeks after. I don’t want staff staring at a screen all day. I want them providing good care. I very much doubt she was hungry and went all day without food. More than likely, someone was feeding her instead of messing about on the app.

Are you sure they don't offer snacks? That sounds very unusual.

I've never known a nursery to offer no food outside of one lunch meal. That's extremely unusual.

How did you find out she wasnt fed for 8 hours, is that really true? At our nursery they seem to eat every 90 minutes. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. I rarely look at the app. If you don't trust the nursery then move her. But worrying over this and ringing them up is insane.
It's unusual not to space naps and lunch though, I find that odd.

You either trust them or you don’t. If you don’t then move her, if you do let them keep going trying their best.

Op would you be happier if you cared for her yourself? Did she start nursery because your partner wanted it for example?

she won’t be hungry - the staff wouldnt want her hungry either as kids would be crabby. You are over worrying

And?

They told me themselves. She did not eat anything until tea. Which for some reason that day was absolutely rubbish, just breadsticks and picky bits. They give pudding with lunch and tea. So there’s not snack in between. Plus she went in just after the morning snack which was fruits anyway.

Yeah your annoying, it's hardly world ending is she misses lunch ! I'm sure she won't be left starving and in distress. You're in for a long 18 years op

Surely they give her food when she wakes up ? I imagine they are busy over lunch with feeding and nappy/toilet cleaning up. to update before 2pm and the staff might also have their own breaks. I don't understand why you feel you have to rush to get your dc.

It's completely unacceptable that they forgot to feed her lunch. Not updating the app straight away is normal though. I'd much rather they waited until a convenient time and concentrated on caring for the children, rather than rushing to complete admin.

Unfortunately I think you need to decide whether you trust them, and move her if you don't.

You are at work!
You should be focusing on your job not hanging off your apps to track whether your kid has swallowed some mashed potato

Unclench OP

do they have surplus staff to fill in the app, as new safer eating rules mean that all children have to have staff watching them eat?

I’ve worked in a school nursery where it was the policy to take a photo of every child in every session and then send them to the parents on class dojo. It was ridiculous because that’s a whole member of staff fannying about on an iPad for 45 minutes in the morning and 45 minutes in the afternoon instead of singing Incy Wincy or admiring a train track.

My kids are teens so they were in nursery before apps. They'd report everything at pick up time and I'd just have to trust they had things covered for the time they were with them. I've found the apps have really shifted expectations of primary parents too in terms of comms.

Even if she went without food for 8 hours, which is unlikely, even then, absolutely nothing would happen to her other than being hungry. I think your choices are to really try to forget about the food at nursery and assume she is being fed, or move her if you aren't happy.

@annon2367 if she went in after morning snack why didn’t you give her snack before you dropped her off?

How do you think they can reasonably care for 5 babies if they’re constantly updating the app in live time?
Your expectations are out of touch.
If she was hungry she would eat, there’s no need to collect her early because she didn’t eat lunch.

Why didn't you give her a morning snack?

This seems like you have unreasonable expectations.

🤣

What's funny?

So she missed morning snack because you took her in late? That's on you then. If you're going to drop her after snack time, you need to give her a snack before she goes in. Make sure you do this and you'll probably feel less anxious about the lunch situation.

But why didn’t you feed her before she went if she had her breakfast at 7am and she wasn’t going to be there for morning snack?

Regard, I do think that your expectations are unrealistic and I would rather the adults were looking after and playing with the children rather than updating apps. There is something a bit dystopian about the children being second place to the updates.

We don’t use the apps, baby room have diaries that are filled in a nap times when staff have a moment.

We would save lunch for a child who slept through the main lunch hour and give it to them after. I’d also be very surprised if they didn’t have a couple snacks in the day too. I doubt they’d have left her from breakfast to 3.30 with nothing to eat. Even if we didn’t save lunches we’d be well aware of a hungry baby and give them something. The staff see these babies every day, develop bonds with them and care a lot about their welfare.

I never had an app for my DS (he’s 5, so this was only 3 years ago!) and just had food + nappies written in a booklet I was given at the end of each day. Sometimes they forgot to fill it in 🤷🏼‍♀️.

I’ve been there with the food paranoia (not helped by guilt over feeding issues the first 3 months of his life) and at some point you need to take a step back and trust your child and trust their caretakers.

The best advice on food I’ve been given is to look at the bigger picture: don’t look at what they’ve eaten in a meal, over a day or even over a couple of days – look at their intake over the week.