Awful lot of boys "rescuing" girls going on

[RoxaneBergerac]

When I my little one started nursery I was surprised how prominent the theme of 'boys saving girls' seems to be. I certainly remember a lot of princes saving princesses type games when I was a little girl but I assumed it was now culturally dodo-dead. Not even Disney movies have that sort of plot anymore, right?

I'm not so PC that I'm against kids enjoying gender-stereotypical things. Even before nursery my son's interests were rather stereotypically boyish (dinosaurs, countries/geography, Sonic Hedgehog). I'm not even bothered in abstract by a boys playing at rescuing girls from bad guys but again the prominence to which it is enforced(?) by nursery and parents is a bit overwhelming and bizarre:

• Circle time games about the boys beating a 'monster' to save the girls.
• Preschool play where the boys are princes who save the girls as princesses from a witch etc.
• Even had a mum tell me that my son is a strong little prince who could save her daughter if she got kidnapped by a Disney villain (isn't that a rather grim scenario to imagine? Why would you?)

I recognize the fairytales and such are of course typical childhood fare but I thought at least this kind of thing would be balanced by girls getting to save boys etc in this day and age? Both the boys and girls seem to enjoy the "rescuing" but just seems in a word, anachronistic

This sounds so odd. I’ve never heard of my kids playing games where different roles were assigned to “the boys” and “the girls” at all. Not by teachers.

Is that correct? I have stepped on many times to help others while all the men looked the other way

My children's nursery wasn't anything like that op. I can't even comprehend how it would be.

I went to a gender neutral nursery as a kid. It was great- everyone was encouraged to play with everything. For me and my brother it was perfect; he enjoyed playing with the toy kitchen and dolls while I enjoyed construction and wild physical games.
But tbf most girls and boys tended to go to stereotypical gender role games but did try all things out.
@RoxaneBergerac I'm appalled that the nursery is encouraging this. If I would have a daughter I would have been outraged because it's learning kids that girls are passive and fragile while boys are active and heroic. Very outdated.

Does them all a disservice: the girls don’t get to play at being the strong characters…and just as importantly the boys don’t play at receiving help.

What? I don't remember or have experience of this ever being a thing. I am genuinely shocked. As for pp saying that most rescuers are men - that's fine but they are not always rescuing women I presume. And wouldn't it be nice for little girls not to be learning that they are always the victim and never the rescuer.

I also agree it’s not good practice. I was just surprised to read that national requirements (as opposed to guidance etc) make nurseries count the number of lead parts and dominant roles and equalise them by sex. That’s what I would describe as overreach.

Also it’s not true anyway. I noticed reading news reports that on the very rare occasion a stranger steps up to save someone it’s occasionally a man but more often it’s a woman usually a mum. But that doesn’t fit the narrative does it?!

Interesting, I've noticed the exact opposite. Its almost as though anacdata isn't reliable, isn't it?

I think what you describe as 'gender neutral' is just normal in the UK. I've never heard it described as that.

I don't think any setting is required to actually count the male/female roles (unless things have changed drastically in the 11 years I've been retired) it's more of a general ethos.

Edit: it might be an idea to do that if the teacher was doing an 'audit' maybe something the OP's child's nursery should do.

I don't think it's gone out of modern kids stories as much as you think. My kids occasionally watch paw patrol (I am not a fan but consider it mainly harmless) and you can't escape the fact the boys are leading the rescue attempts and are nearly the whole party, with the token (pink!) girl one who doesn't even feel in the main three.

Mario has been big again lately with his whole rescuing Princess Peach theme.

Modern adult movies are rubbish for this now too. They'll have a strong sassy scientist female character (great) leading the way and then at some point she;ll break down and need the male lead to help her on/ escape. It's like they can't help themselves.

Strange! Change nurseries!

Very thought provoking, thank you @HelmholtzWatson

Asking the question that you have asked in your second paragraph, has initially made me react by thinking about my now adult children, and how I raised them when they were young.

Mine are all the same sex.

When I was newly pregnant for the first time, I consciously knew that as they grew older I wanted them to have an upbringing that centered around them having both a safe and secure, and fun, childhood.

My conceptual thoughts about any of my future children - if I was going to be blessed enough to have any - were about them growing up to be truthful, kind, and caring, human beings. That notion has probably always been part of my unconscious mind set, or at least since I was about 8 years old! As for myself, I have endeavoured to have the same qualities ever since I became fully self-aware, when I was a child. Unfortunately, I still have quite a long journey to make before I will be satisfied with my own abilities to make the correct, and morally right decisions.

However, I have always been a "pushover", and I have had practically zero sucess when it comes to me being able to say a confident, but polite, "no" to anyone, even though me saying "yes" may have been slightly detrimental to my own dearest children. So, I am certain these days that not only are my own wishes and needs going to be part of my decision making, but that from now on, my children's well-being and happiness, will always be tantamount in any, and all, ways.

Whenever in the future, I have got to make any sort of decisions that may affect both my own wonderful adult children, and my adorable grandchildren, I will try to always be fully aware of any conflicts that may affect my children, and my grandchildren, whether in a positive or negative way. Obviously - I hope - I will always choose the positive way.

So, to get to my point at last, I have consciously, and probably unconsciously as well, tried to bring up my children to be non-judgemental, and to follow any safe and legal activities that they may be drawn to. But, like a PP said about hers, my children have been, seeminly automatically, drawn to the most obvious choices for their gender! 🤷‍♀️🤭

I'm born in 1979.

At the moment in the UK and maybe elsewhere we have a massive issue with bystanders of the male variety standing back and watching awful crimes take place, I guess I don’t think it’s a bad thing for boys to be taught to help be aware and rescue, as they can help other men as well.

I’ve seen so many videos of women’s handbags being snatched and other women having to rush in etc while men just kind of hang back.

With men on the whole being physically stronger and real world attacks being made by men it kind of makes sense that they are the rescuers?

I do think the nursery should allow the girls to play equally but I wouldn’t have an issue leaning into the boys being good and helping others.

So? I was an Early Years Teacher throughout the era you would have been there. I was trained to challenge gender stereotypes and always did but never heard the phrase 'gender neutral' used.

Yeah I think men of previous generations might have stood up. They don’t so much now!

Story after story it’s women that do it. Yes anecdata but it’s a trend I’ve seen in real
life. Everytime I’ve witnessed an incident an older woman has stepped up.

My 3 year old DGS was astonished the other day to discover that his broken toy had been mended by me and not Grandad. I was keen to let him know that “Grandmas can mend stuff too!” 😁

I mean if we’re going to be realistic because we live in the real world, men DO the saving. They go to war, they are more often front line defence in fire and police etc.

yes it may condition women and girls to not want to be risking their lives but that’s the world we live in

I don't think any of this discussion is particularly relevant to gender roles in a nursery class.

Have you seen the new Mario's? Peach is a badass! Mario does not rescue her at all.

Women do all those things too...

But how would a nursery evidence any practice without some data to support any claim?

I don't understand why it would be overreach. If you want standards, they have to be more than just words.

I'd imagine they'd document it through the vast amounts of paperwork they have to do about the activities they do, the resources they use, what the individual children are doing....