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Was I right to complain after nursery let him play outside cold?

51 replies

ForBrightOP · 30/03/2026 20:59

i picked my son up from nursery at 5 and it was cold and windy.
He was playing in the garden with a thin tshirt I provided as spare and he was wearing thin joggers provided by nursery as his clothes was wet due to playing with water. He had a jumper in his bag and I always provide a coat with him. I questioned to myself why he wasn’t wearing his jumper or coat when it’s cold and windy outside. The nursery has always been good with him so I thought there was an explanation and thought to trust this.
He was freezing when I picked him up, he said he was cold in the car and took him ages to warm up. He had wind burn on his cheeks and it didn’t calm down till he went to bed. I phoned up my concerns to nursery once I got home and sent an email to complain of this with images of his cheeks and the jumper and coat I provide to nursery asking why he wasn’t wearing this. Am I being over the top? Should I not of complained of this?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Purplerainblue · 30/03/2026 21:35

ForBrightOP · 30/03/2026 20:59

i picked my son up from nursery at 5 and it was cold and windy.
He was playing in the garden with a thin tshirt I provided as spare and he was wearing thin joggers provided by nursery as his clothes was wet due to playing with water. He had a jumper in his bag and I always provide a coat with him. I questioned to myself why he wasn’t wearing his jumper or coat when it’s cold and windy outside. The nursery has always been good with him so I thought there was an explanation and thought to trust this.
He was freezing when I picked him up, he said he was cold in the car and took him ages to warm up. He had wind burn on his cheeks and it didn’t calm down till he went to bed. I phoned up my concerns to nursery once I got home and sent an email to complain of this with images of his cheeks and the jumper and coat I provide to nursery asking why he wasn’t wearing this. Am I being over the top? Should I not of complained of this?

You’re not being over the top very well warranted. My Nursery do it just to get the kids out I’ve seen it in vests and alsorts I hate Nurserys

Bitzee · 30/03/2026 21:40

If he’s only 2 then yes they should have put a coat on him and I think it’s fine to have raised a concern and to ask them to make sure he wears it in future.

The photos of the ‘windburn’ on his cheeks was a bit much and not sure what relevance that has to the lack of coat?! My kids used to get it sometimes in the winter when we lived in Chicago, wasn’t the daycare/nursery’s fault or anything and they were always dresses properly, it was just the result of wind/below freezing temps but if it was bad we’d just ask them to apply aquaphor as a barrier before going outside. No biggie.

IdentityCris · 30/03/2026 21:41

FeelingSadToday1 · 30/03/2026 21:25

OP, you are making such a big deal out of this. If you weren’t already, you are now ‘that parent’.

Oh, FFS, the terror on MN of being "that parent" is utterly ridiculous. If being "that parent" means you reasonably raise concerns with a nursery that lets a 2 year old play outside in current temperatures in thin clothing with no coat or jumper, I say be that parent and be proud of it.

ILoveDaffodills · 30/03/2026 21:47

Timeforaglassofwine · 30/03/2026 21:10

It wasn't really that cold today. How long had he been out?

Well that depends where you live! It was bloody freezing here today!!

BlackCat14 · 30/03/2026 21:49

ForBrightOP · 30/03/2026 21:27

’that parent’ in raising a concern?

Yes definitely “that parent” behaviour.

Raising a concern here could’ve been you just saying to the staff in the moment “oo how long has he been outside without a coat? He feels chilly! Is it okay to make sure he wears a coat next time? Have a great evening, bye!”
Getting home and sending an email including photos is very OTT. You’ve made it into such a bigger deal than it needed to be.

FeelingSadToday1 · 30/03/2026 21:52

You can definitely see the posters on here who are raising the next generation of anxious, thin skinned children who won’t cope in the real world.

Happyjoe · 30/03/2026 21:52

BlackCat14 · 30/03/2026 21:49

Yes definitely “that parent” behaviour.

Raising a concern here could’ve been you just saying to the staff in the moment “oo how long has he been outside without a coat? He feels chilly! Is it okay to make sure he wears a coat next time? Have a great evening, bye!”
Getting home and sending an email including photos is very OTT. You’ve made it into such a bigger deal than it needed to be.

I don't think so.
Breezy comments often get ignored. An email is in writing, it's clear and it's a complaint. More than likely this will not happen again...

marcyhermit · 30/03/2026 21:53

Unacceptable for a 2 year old to be outside at 5pm in March in just a t shirt. You were right to raise it.

Happyjoe · 30/03/2026 21:54

FeelingSadToday1 · 30/03/2026 21:52

You can definitely see the posters on here who are raising the next generation of anxious, thin skinned children who won’t cope in the real world.

Antagonistic comment. The child is 2 years old. You don't need to make a 2 year old cold in order to 'thicken their skin'.

marcyhermit · 30/03/2026 21:54

FeelingSadToday1 · 30/03/2026 21:52

You can definitely see the posters on here who are raising the next generation of anxious, thin skinned children who won’t cope in the real world.

Ensuring a toddler is appropriately dressed is very basic care.

BringBackCatsEyes · 30/03/2026 21:58

So you're asking if you were being OTT and I think the consensus is yes.
I do think you were right to raise the issue, but not in the way you did.
It's the sort of thing that needs addressing right away, or the next time you see the staff.
What would you like re the wind burn? Not let him go out in the wind?

If this was Thursday, have you had a reply yet?

Nuffpills · 30/03/2026 21:59

I would just remind the staff that a coat would be a good shout! Definitely not worth getting too annoyed TBH 🤷‍♀️

Timeforaglassofwine · 30/03/2026 22:07

ForBrightOP · 30/03/2026 21:23

This was Thursday but im just thinking whether to apologise for the email with the images when I go in and speak to them calmly about it

Your first instinct is usually the right one, but is also the one you quickly regret. A sustained amount of time for a two year old in single figure temperatures, inadequatly dressed is neglectful in a nursery setting, whereas a quick run around in a t shirt for a couple of minutes on a sunnyish March day is fine. You know your child best, so don't apologise for following your instincts.

RedMonkeys99 · 30/03/2026 22:12

FeelingSadToday1 · 30/03/2026 21:52

You can definitely see the posters on here who are raising the next generation of anxious, thin skinned children who won’t cope in the real world.

Everyone knows you need a nice bit of windburn to thicken up the skin ready for adulthood.

Not to mention those seasonal affective disorder (SAD) folks. Nice bit of frostbite to keep their stiff upper lip in place. Sorted.

RosesAndHellebores · 30/03/2026 22:24

What was the temp
How long was he out for
Could he have run in, if cold
why wasn't he wearing a vest

TBH mine at 2 wouldn't have wanted a coat but ran hot.

I'm afraid my view was it will toughen them up for school sport/mini rugby.

Difficult to say if you were ott without answers to the above.

Happyjoe · 30/03/2026 22:29

Quite a lot of parents believe in 'toughening up' a 2 year old by making them really cold. 🙄🙄

LittleBearPad · 30/03/2026 22:36

I think the photos were definitely OTT. And windburn too.

Just ask them to put a coat on at pick up time

Timeforaglassofwine · 31/03/2026 07:13

Your first instinct is usually the right one, but is also the one you quickly regret. A sustained amount of time for a two year old in single figure temperatures, inadequatly dressed is worrrying in a nursery setting, whereas a quick run around in a t shirt for a couple of minutes on a sunnyish March day is fine. You know your child best, so don't apologise for following your instincts.

FeelingSadToday1 · 31/03/2026 09:00

I wasn’t implying you must let children purposely get cold just that being outside without a coat for a short time won’t kill them. My comment about thick skin wasn’t literal, I meant you won’t end up with a delicate flower of a child. We have horses so my child is used to being outside in all weathers and is not fair weather at all.

It’s Easter holidays now and the weather looks wet and windy for most of it. That won’t stop out trip to the seaside this week, yesterday’s walk in the country and next weeks camping in the Scottish highlands. Wind burn (whatever that is) or rosy cheeks from being outside is what we all had from walking yesterday. The face will still be pink even with a coat.

My point was about not being so dramatic about the email and photos (I’m assuming of your 2 year olds rosy cheeks?) and just speaking to the nursery at next drop off that you’d like him to wear his coat.

No wonder anxiety is so rife these days if this is what gets people riled up 😏

RedMonkeys99 · 31/03/2026 13:57

FeelingSadToday1 · 31/03/2026 09:00

I wasn’t implying you must let children purposely get cold just that being outside without a coat for a short time won’t kill them. My comment about thick skin wasn’t literal, I meant you won’t end up with a delicate flower of a child. We have horses so my child is used to being outside in all weathers and is not fair weather at all.

It’s Easter holidays now and the weather looks wet and windy for most of it. That won’t stop out trip to the seaside this week, yesterday’s walk in the country and next weeks camping in the Scottish highlands. Wind burn (whatever that is) or rosy cheeks from being outside is what we all had from walking yesterday. The face will still be pink even with a coat.

My point was about not being so dramatic about the email and photos (I’m assuming of your 2 year olds rosy cheeks?) and just speaking to the nursery at next drop off that you’d like him to wear his coat.

No wonder anxiety is so rife these days if this is what gets people riled up 😏

Everyone understood your comment, they were poking fun at it. In my case because I am a little sick of hearing this thing about everyone being a delicate little flower these days. There's quite the superior tone to that sort of comment which gets my goat.

No-one says children should be inside on wet cold windy days, they say they should be appropriately dressed for the weather, thus extending the time they can remain outside and increasing the enjoyment.

I grew up in the lake district. We got dragged up and down rainy windy mountains on our tiny legs in winter because that's just what we did as kids. My family owned a riding stables, we were very outdoor kids. I've done the same with my kids - but I stick a waterproof coat and trousers on them when I do (as did my parents) because I want them to enjoy the experience and want to do it again, just like I did. I don't need to use it as a test of their endurance, I want them to like doing it because it's a pleasant thing to do and I want them choose to do it again as adults.

I dont assume I'm somehow a superior parent because I take my kids up mountains in all-weather, and the implication behind your message are that you think everyone should be doing what you're doing in the Easter holidays. That's quite an assumption.

It's also pretty rude to go around calling everyone else thin skinned, and arrogant to assume you've discovered the reason behind increased anxiety in modern society.... everyone's just a wuss now? Really ?

Perhaps I'm just old and grouchy, but what I really don't understand is why people are so hesitant to tell other adults when something happens which they are not happy about. I don't understand why we must try so hard to be casual about something which bothers us. If I was bothered about collecting my child and realising he wasn't wearing a coat when I felt he should have been and I felt annoyed about it - I'd tell the nursery I felt annoyed about it. Are we so worried about offending the nursey provider we'd rather just continue to be annoyed ourselves and not resolve it in a way which feels adequate to us?

In which case, who is the thin skinned one there? The child? The nursery manager who can't cope with a parent pointing out something they're not happy about without that being a problem ? Or the parent who can't bring themselves to clearly state what they find a probem?

The OP didn't ask whether her son should have been wearing a coat or not, she felt he should have been, was annoyed he wasn't wearing one and felt the nursery was being negligent by not getting him to put one on. If you feel like that - I think you should say you feel like that. Why pretend it's no biggie if you feel it is a big deal to you ?

Kids not wearing coats doesn't rile me up. Irritatingly superior people do.

Arran2024 · 31/03/2026 14:15

A few years ago I drove past a local boys prep school, and staff were leading small boys up the hill to church in the absolutely pouring rain, and they were all in school uniform (shorts and jumpers) and no coats.

So I emailed the school to say how surprised I was tocsee this - they must have been soaked by the time they reached the church, only to have to sit through a service.

School were very apologetic. Said it wouldnt happen again etc. But what on earth were they thinking?

I wouldn't underestimate how easy it is for staff to take the easier option due to time constraints etc. Always worth mentioning.

bubsuniverse · 02/04/2026 11:46

No, you’re not overreacting at all. It’s completely reasonable to expect the nursery to dress your child appropriately for the weather, especially when you’ve provided a jumper and coat. If he was cold and ended up with windburn, it makes sense to raise it. You handled it calmly by asking for an explanation—nothing wrong with that.

GrannyBee810 · 03/04/2026 00:41

I’m a childminder . The answer on here are mad . We had sleet and snow here last week. And at 5 pm I expect it was too cold for just a t shirt . Two year olds need to learn about clothing for different weather and need to be helped to dress accordingly. I help our toddlers to put their coats and hats on . I would have complained too.

Banannanana · 07/04/2026 00:24

Querying it, asking them to make sure he wears his coat next time as he gets cold, fine.

A big email with pictures attached? Yep, you’re OTT and will now have a reputation as “that parent”.

marcyhermit · 07/04/2026 09:34

Banannanana · 07/04/2026 00:24

Querying it, asking them to make sure he wears his coat next time as he gets cold, fine.

A big email with pictures attached? Yep, you’re OTT and will now have a reputation as “that parent”.

Who cares if they have a reputation as 'that parent'?? All that means is the nursery will be extra careful that their child is cared for properly now 😂