Autistic child continually biting other children

[ToddlerMummyaaa]

advise please

3 year old came home yesterday and had been bitten quite badly by another child at nursery, the nursery told me they can’t name child but it’s a child who has 1-1 supervision but they had looked away for a second and my child was bitten completely unprovoked - it wasn’t until I got home and my daughter told me name of child, I spoke to fellow parents at nursery and have found out from them multiple children have been bitten by same child, some have been bitten 4 or 5 times, each time unprovoked, said child is severely autistic & non verbal, staff & students constantly being bitten by same child.

Now my argument is, if I hadn’t spoken to other parents I wouldn’t have realised how severe this situation is, as nursery have not made any parents aware, no incident report from nursery until I contacted them and requested one!!

• now I have kept my child home today and not keen on her going back, have visits over next few days at other nurseries.

Now my concerns are…

• I’m fully aware children bite, hit, push etc and it’s an issue anywhere you go, but this isn’t kids being kids, this is one child who is severely autistic constantly biting other students and staff, and nothing is being done other than 1-1 supervision which clearly ain’t working as children still being hurt, also an ex staff member has told me the 1-1 supervision is rubbish.

• nursery not informing me of the severity of the situation, very lapsed reaction just saying this child is under supervision but all other parents informed me how severe the situation is and no one doing anything about it.

I have no issues with the child, this is a severely autistic non verbal child who is in the wrong setting and needs to be somewhere with more support, my issues are with the nursery for not dealing with the situation, telling parents this child has 1/1 support but ex staff telling me that’s false, not doing an incident report.

I want to remove my child and send her elsewhere, I understand kids will be kids but this is more severe than that, and I’m not sending my child in to be at risk and potentially hurt badly, I will adjust my hours to evenings until I can find suitable settings.

What’s everyone thoughts?

At age 3 many children bite.

the nursery should have filled out an incident form and I’d be querying that,

you are of course allowed to remove your child from a private nursery for any or no reason.

the nursery aren’t going to send whole parent emails about the details of another child’s disability though whichever one you are at.

The nursery can't tell you anything about this child or any other children, so they won't be telling you about 'the situation' - they can only inform you about your own child.

You should have been given an accident/incident form to sign though.

1:1 in nursery is tricky. It's unlikely the nursery have funding for a dedicated 1:1 member of staff so they will have to pull someone from the general ratio. Which does mean however hard they try, they will also have their attention pulled in different directions.

If you're not happy, I would remove your child.

The nursery staff are telling every parent this child has 1-1 support, this is all they are doing, surely with multiple children being bitten almost daily something else needs to be done?

What else would you like to see done?

This child is severely autistic and non verbal and 1-1 support isn’t workign - this child is not in the right setting, they need to be in a setting with specialised support to match their needs

You said yourself that the issue is the child is in the wrong setting. That's not the nursery's fault, the parents and/or LA have made that decision and the nursery will be left to cope and potentially fund additional care this child needs.

I think the only information you can get from the nursery is about the specific incident involving your child. And they rightly won’t give you details of the child who bit your child.

but I wouldn’t be happy at all either, repeated biting by a child with significant needs which need to be managed with 1:1 supervision…. Clearly this is unacceptable. I’d remove my child and tell them why. Other children shouldn’t suffer because this child’s parents/ the LA placed them in an inappropriate setting or where there aren’t resources for proper supervision

Nursery can’t and shouldn’t tell you anything more than what has happened to your own child.

Nursery need to tell you what they are going to do to keep your child safe.

if you aren’t satisfied with their plan then you should change nursery.

You are probably right.

unfortunately such places don’t exist

I really feel for both you and the autistic child and his family. You are all being let down.

1-2-1 support does work if it is
sone correctly. The fact this child is able to bite so frequently means the 1-2-1 isn’t doing their job very well.

An autistic child has every right to attend nursery and there are next to none facilities for children until they reach school age. I would really avoid discussing this situation with lots of other parents. I image the parent of this child feels as crap as you do.

Maybe, but that is a very long road and is unlikely to happen before school age.
There aren't loads of specialist nursery spaces available on request.

It is extremely challenging to keep other children safe even with dedicated one to one. Children with these more extreme behaviours can be calmly playing and still bite if another child leans across them even if the adult is right there. Unfortunately, nurseries don’t get the financial support to give true one to one care, it will likely be enhanced ratio. Nurseries tend to be the front line in getting evidence and support for EHCPs that will then help the child get a specialist school placement if needed. We wouldn’t be sending out a general email, or whatever, to make parents aware of a child needing this kind of support. Each incident would be dealt with separately for the child involved.

The staff will be doing their best and may have more than one child needing support in the cohort which can stretch things further. You would be best to speak with your nursery and ask what they are doing to minimise the risk of injuries to the other children so you know what is happening. Asking ex workers isn’t the best strategy as they may have their own grudge against the place.

There's always a biter. We have 3 biters in my DC's class in year 1 even. My DC has just learnt to be quick and jump out the way!

Nursery should’ve given you an incident form.

I would avoid discussing this with so many people though - sounds like you’ve already been speaking to ex staff members and parents. You don’t want to get caught up in a big gossip chain about a 3 year old child - especially if you’re considering staying.

If you’re leaving anyway, you can just close the door. I would just leave and give the feedback about incident forms if you wish to do so.

I work in EYFS and have done for many, many, many years. You will encounter children with similar needs in the majority of settings. It is extremely challenging and I disagree with a PP saying the 1:1 isn’t doing their job if the child is biting so frequently. It’s so difficult to contain a three year old child every single second of the day.